"My Husband Doesn't Match My Expectations"
Always being blamed
Falling awake I'm in this household ark, do I have to give up?. After 8 years of living the household ark, it should be from the beginning of the surrender, this is already half the way why you should give up, maybe a little more bright spot must be seen, it is the motivation that I always set in my heart, I also have to support my heart to not give up.
How will the lives of children later when their parents divorce, will certainly affect their mental, even though the behavior of children is not in accordance with our expectations, he said, only prayer and still to continue to lead them to the right path at this time can be done, because tomorrow only God knows.
The temperamental nature of children must be influenced by the behavior and teaching of parents to their children.
The method of teaching children according to my husband is to beat the child hard, when making mistakes, just as the husband got when he was a child the father-in-law often beat them with rattan, hitting them with rattan, belt, wood or whatever goods that are near him. If the child beat too soft or not hit by the child will step on the parents, the child will be trivial with parents disrespect and obedience to parents. So according to the husband, even though if the husband hit the child, we ourselves are the opponent of the husband, even we who quarrel.
Husband complains why his son is not compact to his father, children are afraid to never express their wishes just say it to me, children also never want to tell a story with his father, he said, where there I was there the children there, but if the father came they broke up, sometimes the father was left alone in the living room there is no friend.
"Why children are not compact even tend to fear me" asked my husband. " Well naturally, you too when they are small rarely want to accompany them to play" I said with a laugh.
"Yes, you taught me that" my husband told me emotionally.
" As you accuse me, if I teach the unrighteous to the children", I replied in a resentful tone.
Husband is not aware that he has been less compact all this time. Coming from work for a while holding children for only a few minutes in my opinion, continue to be handed over to me, so that the husband can continue his activities playing games. Is it enough to create closeness between father and child?, play the same child child does not want, occasionally accompany the child bathe ball anyway want, but if at home always handed to me, but if at home always left to me, my husband used to play games all day until midnight, I rarely communicated with my husband because I felt he was not focused on answering my questions because my husband's attention was cool to the game.
So that if my kids learn they're straight away, they're afraid I'll hit. I feel my teaching is the same child is wrong, the child is rude how to talk to his fellow brothers, and vice versa his brothers.
My quarrel with my husband is not a heavy thing, all just a trivial matter, is because I heard wrong, so I said what I heard, the husband was immediately angry, the husband was angry, directly accuse me who does not want to pay attention, who does not care about the same husband, even I who was accused of trivial with him, ever because I did not update the news today for example, for example, directly accuse me who did not pay attention to his words, directly tell me if not to talk to me.
My God, even though if I pay attention to my husband talking to sister-in-law, sometimes sister-in-law does not focus on answering, or does not immediately respond to the husband because of his attention to HP, the husband can tolerate, and the husband can tolerate, not immediately angry. Why do I always talk angry, even he always says, "you're a scholar" said the husband rudely. My husband doesn't care about my feelings. Even my husband is very sensitive. The intonation of our speech is firm he is immediately angry, considered us trivial just as he does not respect the husband according to him, sometimes we talk a little more glaring because mana knows he does not hear, he said, my husband is usually offended. What his feelings are that need to be noticed, while my feelings he does not want to know, even lightly he said "indeed I gini how to talk, he said, I used to know how to talk".
If when dating may have been different contest, now the household has become somewhat sensitive, because indeed the husband is very disrespectful like her, even in front of the crowd the husband does not hesitate to scold me, because the husband does not hesitate to scold me, even want to curse me.
Not that I mean to oppose my husband, sometimes I just explain the purpose of my words. I was accused of defiance. Directly the husband threw whatever was nearby, if hp near him, hp who was thrown. Husband wants us to not only what he said, even if we feel right we let alone (same dong engge engge aja). Stroke dong later we, buried all our emotions in the heart. Mother-in-law is the same father-in-law, if the father-in-law is angry, the mother-in-law is silent, if responded even hit, I think that is the cause of the mother-in-law always holds in the heart, lastly it is a stroke, so the, I don't want to be like my mother-in-law.
I am realistic anyway, if it feels right, I also try to explain to the husband, but the husband does not accept the end angry. But finally the husband was not safe and silent all day, well I'm the one who finally apologized. Before I apologize, our quarrel never finished, that's one of the selfishness of the husband in my opinion, the husband never apologized. My husband also never realized his mistake, always he felt that what he did was always right.
Even when it comes to educating children, I'm always wrong, all because of my mistakes. Even if we feel that we have been blamed so, why else we live this household ark, there is no mutual trust, each side should be introspection. Is it still possible to live this household ark until death separates, like a promise of a second pledge when married first??
