(May) I Fall in Love

(Can) I Fall in Love?

At nine o'clock in the evening, Haura was done with the routine of cleaning dinnerware at the Sander family's main house. A job that the girl never missed. After being tired of activities all day, Haura chose to immediately rest herself. The girl immediately returned to the back pavilion to immediately meet the bed and also her pillow.

Previously Haura first said goodbye to Bu Lastri to immediately go to her room on the grounds of doing schoolwork. Haura deliberately did not say that she was tired of her daily activities so that her mother did not feel guilty again to Haura. Bu Lastri often blames himself because Haura helped him work at the main house of the Sander family. In fact, Haura does all the work on her own will and never blames her mother.

Two hours had Haura kept quiet in her room. Some of the time was used by the girl to stare at the ceiling of her room. As if there is a painting that is very interesting to be enjoyed by both senses of vision. Maybe also for Haura there is the face of the person who always controls his mind, Nevan.

Nevan has not been back to Indonesia for a month. At first the communication between Haura and Nevan was still quite good, but now Nevan seems to have completely disappeared. Haura repeatedly tried to contact Nevan, but the man was difficult to contact.

Haura can only treat her longing through some photos Nevan uploaded through the man's social media. There is a photo that shows Nevan with a girl who has a very beautiful face. Then the photo disappeared from Nevan's social media. But Haura had clearly remembered the beautiful face of the girl. Alesha the name of the girl in the photo. Haura found out about it because she asked Niko.

"That girl is Nevan's past." That was the brief explanation Niko gave at the time. Haura did not ask any further.

At first Haura was embarrassed to ask Niko about the girl she had seen on Nevan's social media. Haura feels that she has no right to know more about Nevan's personal life. But the shame was put aside by Haura because her curiosity was so passionate.

Niko's words continued to ring in Haura's memory. Also the beautiful face of Alesha who is able to make anyone fall for her. The girl's feeling was very turbulent because of the sadness and jealousy that came simultaneously to her. But on the other hand Haura was calm that Nevan was fine there. Also the man she loved was happy there.

Not infrequently also Haura cried alone when she saw some photos of Nevan smiling happily there. The man was happy there. While Haura every night must be friends with tears and longing. The girl was hurt by her own love.

"You evil Van," said Haura. The walls of the girl's room bear silent witness to the sadness that Haura feels every night.

"I'm waiting for you... But you forgot the promise you made." Haura hugged her roll tightly. The girl's tears returned to accompany her like the nights had passed.

"That promise you've ignored, Nevan. Hikkks..."

"Promise you to hurt me."

Haura cried without a sound alone in her bedroom. Such a heartbreaking cry. His first love broke his heart. His first love hurt him so much. A love that will never be returned.

Every night the girl cried herself to sleep.  Traces of tears were clearly visible on Haura's face. His love and longing made the girl so fragile. But as much as possible Haura hid her fragility in front of others by pretending to be cheerful as if nothing happened in her life. It was as if losing Nevan wasn't something sad to him.

Haura was injured in her laughter.

Tink....

A notification of incoming messages was heard from Haura's phone. It was a message notification from the girl's chat group with her two best friends. Every night Luna and Adel always try to cheer Haura up. Both of Haura's friends know very well that she is not okay now.

"By. yukkkk, '" Adel answered immediately.

Haura knew that her two best friends were trying to comfort her. Every day there are places they visit. At least it was enough to make Haura forget Nevan for a while. When night came, the longing returned, as if clinging tightly to Nevan's face.

"Haura where nih.." Another message came in from Luna.

"Haura is coming, yes" added Adel again.

"I can't come" replied Haura. "I have to help Mom... I'm sorry.." continued the girl again.

Then Haura put her phone back on the nightstand. Notification of incoming messages from his chat group continues to sound. But Haura did not want to know what the message was about.

"Alesha.." muttered Haura while reimagining the picture of the girl with Nevan. Inner Haura was well aware that Alesha deserved to be with Nevan. They are like two people who are made to be together.

A mocking smile was on the corner of Haura's lips. The girl again laughed at herself for daring to fall in love with Nevan.

Haura wiped her tears. For a moment the girl covered her face with both palms. He took a deep breath and then moved from his bed to his study table. Some textbooks and also stationery belonging to the girl neatly arranged on the table.

In addition to textbooks, there are also several novels belonging to Haura. A novel dominated by teenage romance. Haura has always filled her free time with reading. If the girl's pocket money is not enough to buy the latest novel, then Haura often also borrow on book lending places at a fairly affordable rate.

Haura picked up a book arranged between her lines of novels. The hand of the teenage girl definitely grabbed a book with a white cover and there was a picture of a red rose that further beautified the look of the book cover.

It was a diary belonging to Haura. Diary who had been accompanying him and also became a friend where he told stories. About unbearable love, also painful love. About the incredible love, also about the heartbreak that is so torturous. Nevan is the main character in her love story.

The girl stared pushyly at the cover of her diary. Slowly swiping the book.  "Thank you for being my friend all this time" said Haura Lirih.

Haura opened the cover of her diary. On the first page of the book is a painting of Nevan's face. The result of Haura's hand scratches.

Under Nevan's face painting is a sentence of deep feeling. There are questions and doubts there. There is hope in uncertainty.

"(Can I Fall in Love?"