Want a Life of Heaven

63. Between the beloved and the wounded

The atmosphere of grief was so vivid as Akmal's feet stepped into the house with a yellow flag attached there. All eyes were on him, step by step. Whispering about someone most awaited has already arrived.

Akmal's blank gaze answered everything, he was more than grieving. It was as if his soul had gone along with the passing of the soul of someone whose body was stiffened in there.

A middle-aged woman sitting not far from the corpse looked up when she saw Akmal. Refreshed himself though the grief also hugged him tightly.

Akmal looked at the mother for a moment, feeling the mother's tight grip on her shoulder. Retno who also can not smile, can only give a look full of support to the child. Draining the strength from his touch and gentle gaze.

All that encircled the corpse understood and gave way, making the distance between Akmal and the person covered in cloth only a little.

Akmal sat down slowly, sitting right at the position of the corpse's head. His hand trembled as he pushed the cloth covering the face of a lifeless person before him. Hesitating the hand outstretched, his eyes began to glaze over. His heart beats as if chasing.

And when Akmal's shaking hand was ready to pull the cloth, in a slow pull, and...

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Akmal woke up from his sleep. Realize, it was all a dream. But his chest that rumbled was not just a dream, even Akbar was made to sweat it. The dream really tormented him.

That scary dream, a dream that came from a past event. Who inexplicably reappeared lately.

Akmal sat down his body, sighing long. "Astaghfirullah.." - She softly rubbed her face. The dream always managed to make his heart ache again.

"What's going on? Why did those memories appear again." murmured Akmal, asking himself. Instead of calling it a dream, Akmal marked it as a memory. Which happened four years ago.

"Actmal.."

Akmal spontaneously glanced at the clock when his mother's voice sounded. Frowning, when he saw the clock still showed at half three in the morning. "Yes, Bun?"

Retno appeared from behind the door, entering only after hearing her son's answer. "You're awake already."

Akmal nodded, trying to smile back at Retno's gaze, who walked up to her and sat on the lip of the bed.

"Today Father both Mother has an invitation to Bandung. Departing later at dawn, you mind Mother staying?"

Akmal shakes. It was so common that I didn't have to be asked anymore.

Retno smiled, her hands outstretched rubbing Akmal's head. The moment he realized something, his face immediately turned anxious. Looking at Akmal's face in a moment.

"You're sweating.. Wh why? You sick?"

Akmal shook his head, smiling convincingly. "The room's hot, Bun."

Retno frowned, not feeling the hot temperature in this room at all. Back touching Akmal's head, touching his forehead and cheeks. Ensure something.

"Tell?"

"Yes, Bun." Akmal's parrot.

"Yaudah, direct ablution.. Don't sleep anymore! Adzan's soon."

"Yes, Mom."

Retno got up, smiling again looking at the lethargic face of Akmal. "Ehh.." Retno remembered something. "Today is exactly four years from that day. You remember?"

Akmal looked up, feeling reminded. "Oh.. Turns out this is why.." murmured Akbar slowly.

"What reason?"

"ah! It's nothing, Bun."

Retno nodded, there must be something. But he will not find out or ask more, today will certainly be difficult for Akmal.

"Go see his family, it'll make them happy and you feel better."

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Khopipah was busy taking care of everyone's breakfast menu. Pour water, get rice, pour milk.

Agnia who noticed the motion of the mother immediately grabbed her glass when Khopipah wanted to pour water into her glass. "Let me, Mom.."

Seeing that Akbar directly advanced his glass, asking to be filled. Agnia was astonished to see it. Though he did not want to trouble his mother but Akbar just the opposite.

"What?" Akbar stared at the cynical Agnia, still remaining memories of yesterday where he endlessly got the nagging of his brother.

Agnia opened her eyes, Akbar was not sensitive at all. Focus back on the food.

"Don't start! Continue eating." Khopipah as the third person in the fierce fight brother sister sighed softly.

"Look.. Agni's mother started."

"Accad!" reprimand Khopipah, shake at his youngest son.

Akbar was silent, complaining in his heart why only he was wrong at all times. Indeed, silence was most right for him at this moment.

Silence, the warning of Khopipah made neither Akbar nor Agnia prolong the commotion. Busy with each other's food.

"Have you spoken to Akmal today?"

"Mister?!" Akbar gave an astonished look at Agnia, clearly their mother asked.

"Oh!" Agnia smiled faintly, shaking her head. "Thus, Mum. We're not that familiar."

"Yeah? Mother thinks.. Yasudahlah. Means.. You don't know if today is a difficult day for Akmal?"

Agnia shook her head, momentarily turning to Akbar. I don't understand what his mother meant. What difficult day?

"Four years ago, there was an event that shook Akmal... A single accident occurred. Accidents that until now still puzzle the cause. And the accident.. Take the life of a girl, who was Akmal's lover at the time." explains Khopipah, can see if his two children do not know knowing.

Akbar and Agnia were surprised not playing around to hear the news, not expecting that the cheerful figure of Akmal kept such a trivial story. Akbar turned his head towards Agnia, the two of them had not even realized since when to stop their bribes.

"Baby jealous? Take it easy. He's just the past."

Agnia sighed softly, poking her lips. Akmal should have said so. Now it can be understood why Akmal's lover was in his heart. Not anywhere but his heart.

"Here it is.."

Akmal's shadow that pointed at his chest flashed again, making Agnia full and sick at the same time.

Silent for a moment, Akbar and Agnia were busy with their respective thoughts. Khopipah sighed. "You just found out.." Khopipah turned to Agnia. "Call and meet him, who knows that little thing can make him feel better."

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"Mother is very grateful, because Nak Akmal never forgot to come here without being asked. Mother appreciates that, mother can feel the sincere affection that Nak Akmal gave to Ulya."

"Never get tired of ordering.. Don't torture yourself. Wake up from that nightmare!"

"Son Akmal has to continue living like everyone else. Don't live with guilt, I don't expect that from Nak Akmal."

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Akmal walks gontai, down a crowded street. His eyes looked at the road but his heart went nowhere, because what flashed in his ears were only the messages that Ulya's mother had conveyed earlier.

Surprisingly, Agnia who had hesitated to contact Akmal just happened to see the man from inside the cafe. The memicing made sure that he saw.

There is a meeting today that keeps Agnia from going to teach. Ends in a cafe with a girl who from her looks can be guessed a student.

"Mr?" the teary-eyed girl frowned, looking at the wonder of Agnia who lost focus when she was explaining.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"Ehh.." Agnia did not turn her face away from Akmal, feeling that she had to hurry. "Ah.. Sorry before, but we'll continue by phone. There's no business.."

"Lho! But.. Maud.. Ma'am.." the girl was made to wave, confused by Agnia's sudden behavior. Scratching his nape does not itch.

Agnia walked quickly, half running after Akmal. It's been a few steps to Akmal.

"Armal!"

Akmal's daydreams instantly crumpled. Looking, at a familiar voice but in an unexpected place. The corner of her lips rose to form an instant smile, upon knowing it was Agnia.

"Mr here?" ask her to Agnia who walked over.

Agnia sighed softly, instead of answering just looking at Akmal's face for a moment. "Don't smile!"

"Hemhs? Wh why? Does this smile take your world?" akmal asked, pulling down his eyebrows.

"Curtain!" Agnia stared flatly, it wasn't funny at all to her. "You should see your own smile. That's.."

"Empathetic?"

Agnia grunting. "Fake. It looks fake."

Akmal terekech. "Yeah? This is the most sincere smile."

Agnia. "Don't bring a sincere word! Do you know the meaning of being sincere? Sincere means coming from the heart, according to what your heart feels." explains Agnia. "And are you not cape? Always smiling even if you're sad?"

Akmal scrunched his forehead, curious as to what Agnia was about to say. "I mean Ma'am?"

Agnia gave her sentence for a moment, afraid that her words could make Akmal misunderstand.

Akmal was still waiting, his hand he put in his pants pocket. Agnia finally opened her mouth, but her eyes turned elsewhere. "Don't force a smile! Your eyes show another right."

Agnia sighed softly. Staring at Akmal who was still with his confused face. "I'm sorry for making you tell me about your past."

"Oh! You know that?" akmal asked, looking unsurprised. Even still with a face full of smiles, which again made Agnia wonder.

"Emh.." short Agnia.

"Where are you dealing with all that?" Agnia asked again, after a moment of silence.

Akmal raised his eyebrows, feeling different from the way Agnia spoke.

"Splitting with someone who gives hurt feels easier because we have a reason to forget. But parting ways with someone we care about..." Agnia turned to Akmal once more, hanging up her sentence.

"Two things, just as hard. But the pain of parting with someone we love will heal over time, while the pain of parting with the person who hurt us.. It may not heal" Akmal said. Gently gazing at Agnia. Trying to convince her that she is not pretending with her smile.

^^^"Actually, Mom. I'm here to say goodbye. After this I will probably stop visiting Ulya even though my prayers will never be interrupted for her. Like Mom's message, I have now found someone I can love with all my heart. I thank you for your greatness all this time, and. please bless your son."^^^

Akmal smiled with relief, he already said so. This time it looked at Agnia confidently. "Today I visited Ulya for the last time, then asked her permission to allow me to replace Ulya with someone else in my heart" Akmal explained. "And unfortunately I can't tell you that the man is in front of me right now." said Akmal, with a seductive smile. Making Agnia blush her cheeks, there was a sigh when Akmal said so.