Want a Life of Heaven

35. Trapped in the past

As if they were living in a labyrinth..

In any direction you go, this step is always wrong..

My memory is so wrong, though,

Just stay in one condition, though,

Forgetting to want to be free.

Turns out..

This self is accustomed to,

Stuck and didn't find a way out,

Then it spins repeating the same event.

***

Agnia sat on the edge of the bed, staring fixedly at the floor of her room. Away in that room, only in his mind was now crazed. His breathing sounded clear and disorganized, as if he had just been struck by unrest.

Agnia rubbed her face in frustration, all the activities that were expected to be busy were now finally bringing herself to nothingness.

This pain comes from the past, and boils down to the past. It was as if her life was just there. Himself trapped

"Marriage does not always have to be preceded by love, readiness will lead us to sincerity and a sense of responsibility. After that.. Devotion or affection will not make a difference. What else if it's not love?" Khopipah said, looking softly at his daughter. Try to convince yourself what the current situation is like. This only daughter has to be married, right?

Agnia was silent, only hearing what her mother said. Initially hesitated to answer, until the eating activity stopped without cause.

"But I don't want to live life like that, Mom.." The downcast face finally looked up, answering what was on his mind. "I won't be happy" he said.

Khopipah smiled faintly, looking understandingly at this one and only daughter. "Then what now.. With you alone, you feel happy?"

Deg.

Agnia could no longer argue even though she wanted to, in fact all the laughter that she spread was indeed proved to be only a diversion.

Days where he belongs, at a certain hour when his own tears speak.

In his current solitude, he had even forgotten how he had once been happy by the presence of Adi and Alisya by his side. And now when Adi and Alisya were happy, he was not present beside them. What a relationship that happens between them.

Her heart ached again and again when she remembered the past story, Agnia no longer felt happiness after that day. Right now, when he was alone, tears fell back on his cheeks. The feeling of tightness came back. Only one conclusion, he stuck the past.

***

The hot weather today is very meaningful, because it appears after being cloudy in the previous day. Equal with the ease of 'upcoming after difficulties. All evenly divided, heat and rain are all felt without complaint.

This afternoon Akmal was busy with work, after returning home from campus went to the store to handle this and that with his father's more comfortable employees he called colleagues.

Learning to do business for him is fun, because trading also includes the sunah of the Prophet. There are many doors of Allah's fortune opened in trade.

Moreover, his interest may also come down from his two business-crazed parents.

The one that seemed obvious, there was no remaining worry on Akmal's face. It's been lost since talking to Fiki this afternoon, although Fiki's advice is more of a joke than advice. Even so, he decided to just live it all out for now. Why also his ambitious attitude should be lost just because of the words of a girl.

Akmal wants it, as much as he can get it.

Akmal felt his pants pocket, felt a tremor there. A call came into his cell phone, Mother. That name is what appears on the phone screen. For the sake of seeing the name, Akmal immediately stepped away from the crowd, bringing his phone closer to the ear after being made sure the surroundings were safe from noise.

"Hello, Bun?"

Akmal smiled, wrong. He forgot to read the greeting. "Wa'alaikum.. Why bun?"

Not knowing what his Mother said from a phone call, Akmal suddenly pulled the corner of his lips after a moment of hearing the answer from the Mother.

"I'm home now.."

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Agnia had started teaching again by noon by this afternoon, the madrasa which was two weeks quiet was again noisy by the presence of children.

It's just that the original intention to learn directly stopped when he arrived, he and his students were treated to extraordinary scenery. Lined chairs are not in place, the table is arranged like a stage, a whiteboard full of insignificant graffiti, dirty seal and shoes are installed everywhere.

Helaan resigned, that's all that came out of Agnia's mouth. Smiling at his student.

"Today we don't study first, keep the bags in a clean place, we're tidying up all this mess."

The predominantly nine to twelve year olds nodded, smiling with radiant faces. This is what they expected. Do not know the teacher, if some of them are the perpetrators who make this mess. Play using school facilities when learning activities are closed.

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It doesn't take long if everyone works together. Sweeping, mopping, tidying up benches, rubbing windows, all done no need half an hour. The madrasah with three classrooms was clean as ever, ready to be utilized.

"We continue to learn?" agnia asked the spirit who immediately responded to the disappointed cries, the children had hoped there was no lesson. Agnia chuckled anxiously at the almost unisonous lips of their manyun. Behold, these thirty-four children even gathered in front of the madrassa neatly without being told. Looks like they're following the morning apple.

"Jas.. Learn it tomorrow, after all Bu Sita and Bu Yayu will not come.. So, let's go home.."

"Well.."

Lho! Agnia raised her left eyebrow, not understanding what the children in front of her wanted.

"Not want to either?"

"Make a game, ma'am." chanted one of the oldest children. Sixth grade in elementary school.

Agnia immediately shook her head, not thinking first. He has no taste for playing. Satisfied after the morning playing with the smaller and more unruly children of the children before him today.

"You want to play, just don't forget the time to go home. After the adzan ashar must go straight home.."

"Mother's not coming?"

Agnia shook her head, "No. If you don't want to learn, mom's coming home. Many more productive things to do" he said, trying to teach his students to recognize the name of priority.

Once again the disappointed faces of the children, The only teacher who is the friendliest for now so not exciting in their eyes.

"You teacher won't play, let me accompany you.. Wanna?"

The question of a stranger made the children look at each other, speechless, never seeing the man who was approaching this time.

Agnia was also speechless, astonished beyond measure. Is he being stalked?

The man smiled, glanced at Agnia for a moment then looked at the children who were stumping confused about what to ask. "Assalamu'alaikum's chat.."

"Waalaikumsalam.." Though dumbfounded, greetings still they answered. To fulfill the obligations of fellow Muslims. Agnia who was upset at heart, also kept answering in a soft voice. Enough of it to taste.

"You surprised? Familiarize.. My name is Akmal." said Akmal with his trademark smile. The children still did not respond, it was not important for them the name of this man, because they did not know the relation of the stranger to them.

Agnia was silent, grunting softly. Very familiar this boy. I don't know what the purpose was to come here.

Knowing his introduction is not easily responded by children, Akmal immediately turned the brain.

"This brother.." said Akmal, pointing at himself. "The future husband of your teacher's mother." he said confidently.

What the fuck?! Agnia is like being showered in the scorching heat, surprised not playing. Looking at Akmal full of questions, not expecting and not at all expecting such a speech to come out of Akmal's mouth.

"Cie.." so the reaction of the children, boisterous back. Staring at Agnia whose cheeks were starting to turn red, it was a shame. It felt like Agnia was pulling the man's appearance, carelessly her mouth.

Agnia wanted to shake her head, denying Akmal's confession, but it was useless to explain it to the children. Children, what should they understand?

Moreover, Akmal now managed to attract their attention. Take those enthusiastic kids to his side. Ignoring Agnia who grimaced in heart, furious.

This ambitious boy did not give up easily apparently.