Want a Life of Heaven

4. Nervous or scared?

...Time can heal, though,...

...Someone who just might have recovered....

...Question,...

...How seriously do you want to recover?...

...Said 'but...

...Will trap....

...Said 'later...

...Will delay....

...If not today, then,...

...Then until when?...

...♡♡♡...

Agnia's mood seemed to be good, so Akbar felt unbearable to discuss what was coming to his mind.

Seeing Agnia endlessly smiling throughout the shopping, and continuing to boast about this it was Akbar so it was unthinkable to destroy her mood right now. That question let him hold on a little longer.

...

Akbar was curious in fact, continuing to stare at Agnia with his brows furrowed. Want to know how his brother responded, about the desire of their family to find a mate again for him.

Not without reason, since the events three years ago Agnia became traumatized to explore marriage. Until one day Agnia was introduced to someone by Hafidz, a man who was actually good. But Agnia, who may not have forgotten her wound, responded poorly to the introduction.

A response that made all family members no longer dare to introduce others, thinking several times to introduce Agnia again to new people.

Akbar sighed softly, yet was still heard by Agnia. Making Agnia immediately turn her head, ignoring the waitress who was serving some food at their table.

Agnia spontaneously scrunched her forehead when she was stared at so, her big smile when she saw the food changed in confusion.

"What's wrong?" agnia asked suspiciously, still frowning his forehead.

Currently they are sitting opposite each other on a round table in one of the Sundanese restaurants. Order pepes fish, satay, until sambal and lalapannya.

Agnia who insisted on eating Sundanese cuisine, remembered the grandmother who lived in Tasikmalaya there, he said. While Akbar's part approves, such is his plan as Agnia's errand boy.

"It's nothing." Akbar grinned, shook his head. "Forget it!" he said then grabbed the plate, immediately diverted so as not to ask.

...

For a moment the sister focused on her food, until Akbar turned back to Agnia. His curiosity came back, subconsciously making his eyes again fixated on Agnia.

Agnia who was still solemnly enjoying her lunch was disturbed by Akbar's intense gaze, only to realize that he was again noticed. Trying to swallow the food he chewed before then with a furrowed eyebrow asked.

"What's that for?"

"Hem?" akbar's eyebrows shot up. Even he himself did not consciously pay attention to his brother for too long.

"What does that look mean? Is there something you want to say?" search Agnia.

Akbar shook his head, smiling. "Nothing" in short, turned his gaze toward the glass of juice he had not yet drunk.

A vague nod to Agnia. For a moment he looked down disappointed, then looked at Akbar confidently. "By the way! Ma'am is ready to listen." he said calmly, with a faint smile. "Whatever it is" he added again, affirming the answer of Akbar's incredulous gaze.

"Nothing, Ma'am. I don't have any complaints, really."

Agnia. "That's why you've seen Mbak like that? By the way! Ma'am promised not to be angry." seeing Akbar ignore the question makes Agnia actually get a definite answer, it certainly concerns the most sensitive thing for him.

Which is confusing, why is Akbar so careful to talk. They usually talk without consideration.

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The event took place at the Sidiq Amanah Textil store. The name was clearly displayed on the banner as well as the banner that was displayed freely in front of the store. That's the shop where Akmal tried his luck to lead one of his father's efforts. The store is famous and has five branches in different regions.

Tired face looks from the face of Akmal, as well as the six other employees of his father. Customers are back on the rise in the time leading up to school separations. Most are looking for fabrics to make kebaya and suits for graduation day, even those who have been looking for uniforms from far away in anticipation of price spikes.

All six employees plus Akmal are still overwhelmed to compensate for consumer desires. Not to mention the production houses that order certain fabrics in large quantities.

"Take a meal is not papa" said Akmal, reminding employees who waver when they see him.

From this point of view Akmal does not appear to be twenty-two. With a height of 175 cm, a near-perfect posture is also a shady smile that is inherited by the father, making Akmal look very authoritative.

Akmal who unshakably threw a smile at the employees, Speech style, which is short but straightforward, as well as a gaze with full attention to the interlocutor also made him admired by the employees.

An Akmal, almost perfect.

"Mas dim!" Akmal stepped towards Dimas, the most senior employee. Say the father's trust.

"Yes, how's Mal?" asked Dimas, turning his head while dictating to his subordinates.

"I'm not staying papa, am I?."

"By, please!" Dimas nodded, no objection. "Where are you going?"

"Mother? The mother you mean is the same as I thought, right?" asked Dimas, acting serious but clearly heard teasing him.

Akmal chuckles. "For this time, still mother in the truest sense, Mas."

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This afternoon was accompanied by heavy rain. Making most people sleepy after tired all day work plus the weather that seems to invite to spoil in bed.

Fortunately, Agnia and Akbar arrived home before the rain started. Khopipah who waited anxiously now breathed a sigh of relief. Immediately approached Agnia who had just entered the house with clothes slightly exposed to splashes of rain. Just a little, even then when running from the yard to the door of the house.

"Asalamualaikum.."

"Waalaikumsalaam warahmatullah." replied Khopipah while giving a small towel to Agnia. "Go home to you."

"Yes for a long time, Mom?" ask Agnia.

"No. The problem is that mom is worried about herself." replied Khopipah, smiling. "how are you today?"

Agnia spontaneously stopped the movement of her hand, looking back at her mother for longer. "Great." in short. Not lasting long the smile was slanted, turned thin and then disappeared from his face.

It's true that people say in some traumatic ways it's better not to know. It is better not to want to care and it is better to close your ears. And this time Agnia regretted her question to Akbar earlier.

"I'm going to the room, Mom."

Khopipah. "Yes." Yeah." The loss of Agnia's smile made the mother's smile dim as well. As a mother, of course, khopipah can feel something no one else feels. Even the thorns that pierced the child, a mother could feel tens of times the pain.

Imagine, a mother carries her child for nine months. After birth, the mother becomes the most time spent with her child.

And now, he knew once if anyone was harassing Agnia.

"Assalamualaik." Akbar appeared with a few bags of groceries, no doubt it definitely belonged to Agnia. He stopped in front of his mother, putting on a sweet smile.

"Getishalight."

Akbar's smile instantly disappeared, now changed in agony. "What's up, Mom?" just ask her, she felt like there was something her mother wanted to say.

"Is something going on with you?"

Akbar immediately shook his head. "No, Ma. Why is Agni? Manya him?"

"No, no papa. I'm too worried like that."

"Yaudah, let me see her room now, ma'am. And I have this." Akbar showed me the bag he was carrying. "Just in case he suddenly had horns" Akbar said, trying to comfort his mother. He made horns on his head with his fingers.

Successfully, Khopipah smiled. Shaking amazement. "You are this."

Akbar's smile disappeared again, after the mother left from before him. He was just as worried about everyone in the house. And as for what Agnia felt at this time, Akbar realized it was not spared from his mistake.does he have to be silent earlier?

Agnia was silent for a moment, her head lowered. It seemed to digest the explanation Akbar had just given.

"**At home, don't tell anyone if you know about this." pinta Agnia, with a serious face.

"About what you feel doesn't matter, right now..." Agnia gave a pause, her gaze looking stern.

"Three years ago I didn't learn much, but this time I can't see Mom as I continue to wallow in worries."

"Because of that, let's pretend we don't know that."

"Let's see, how far you'll go, you're also curious about it. After these three years have passed**."

...

Agnia's stern words, just a speech. After all, his mother alone could see that worry in his eyes. A moment Akbar cursed himself who could not help but ask, while he was now standing in front of the door of Agnia's room. Prepare knocking.

It was just that there was a great crisis between him and himself, which made him timidly knock on the door of the room. Only after taking a single breath did Akbar decide to actually knock on the tightly shut door of the room.

"Mom, can I come in?" akbar asked, his intonation was trying to neutral as usual. "This is your groceries!"

"Keep there.. Change the clothes again." said Agnia from inside her room. Akbar still patting faint even though it will not be seen his brother was then gone, after obeying orders Agnia store groceries right at the door.

What Agnia actually lied about was that she had not moved out of bed since she arrived in the room. Sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, with his left hand squeezing the edge of the shirt nervously.

What he said to Akbar this afternoon contrasted with what he actually felt. He became very nervous.

"Mom has a desire to know mbak with his daughter."

Agnia kept her left hand on her right shoulder. Plumping weights. Trying to eliminate the anxiety he felt when remembering Akbar's words earlier. Trying to get rid of the feeling he had not felt for a long time, the fear of something he had avoided the most these three years.

Be married?

Know new people?

Even Agnia's chest grew increasingly claustrophobic as she recited the question in her heart. It seems that he is worried between still needing a little more time, or he does need a new figure.

But if this continues, until when? Agnia was arguing with herself. Between wanting to heal 'to knit a new story, and a haunting fear

July 16, 2022