Want a Life of Heaven

192. Loss feeling.

Empty, fretful, empty. Akmal can not specify how he feels at this time, there is nothing he is worried about other than his wife, but he also can not if denied that he was very sad with this loss.

Most annoying, he can wait until the curette process of cleaning the fetus from the wife's uterus is done. Akmal once remembered himself having to go to college. At this point he hated, why become a student while he was a head of the household.

"Bun, Mother.I go first, yes.sorry to take" said Akmal, clasping Retno's hand.

"No.." Khopipah next to Retno shook her head, rejecting Akmal's apology. "No nicotine at all, you're calm."

"Thank you, Mom. Assalamu'alaikum's chat.."

"Wa'alaikumsalam.."

Khopipah sighed, staring at Akmal's back which was walking further and further away. Can see his daughter-in-law's shoulders withering away as they lose strength.

Akmal stepped gontai, looking at him who was losing but could not take his time for his wife. It was like a dream, losing the first child he had waited expectantly. More than that, her heart was sliced to see Agnia fend for herself. More than him, his wife must have been the most hurt.

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The curettage process has been done, Agnia has returned to her senses from the influence of drugs. Now consciously felt his stomach, recalling how his hopes and prayers did not match the reality that was happening.

Agnia sighed, there was nothing but the smell of the hospital filling her nose. His eyes were fixed on the infusion tube connected to his hand. Not expecting it, it turns out he ended up back in the hospital after swearing not to be related to the stuffy place. The difference this time, there were two families and a husband beside her. How could she not be so strong?

"Darling.." Akmal got up from his seat, stepped closer. Not knowing since when his wife opened her eyes, Agnia was sleeping when she came this afternoon. Pulling a small chair, sitting parallel to the face of the wife.

Agnia smiled thinly, still frail all over her body. Lemas seemed to have finished fighting.more than that, his heart was also not fine because of this sense of loss.

Akmal stroked the top of Agnia's head, there was currently not a single word he could say. His heart was sad, and he felt guilty at the same time. "The chips are healed, Hem? I don't like the smell of the hospital." he said.

Agnia nodded faintly, extending her hand touching Akmal's cheek. Undoubtedly, the face was like losing its radiance. Worse than her, Agnia felt. "Don't be sad, I'll be weak if you don't."

Akmal sighed heavily, nodding while smiling with tears in his eyes. Shortly sobbed. "Sorry." he said, sounding so hurt.

"Why apologize? is this our fault? This must be the best.."

"I should take care of you, Mother."

Agnia shaking. Removing Akmal's tears. This husband should not feel guilty, just losing is enough to make them stunned sad. "God knows, this must be the best. Maybe we're not ready to be parents. Or maybe God intentionally gave us a longer time together."

Akmal did not flinch, looking into Agnia's eyes closely.to find out how strong and where his wife's strength came from.

"I'm also sad." said Agnia, as if answering asked Akmal. "And just because of that, I want you to make me. Hem's? after all, our son was taken by his owner, either because of my carelessness or our negligence. I may take some time to adjust again, but all this sadness is definitely not going to take long."

Akmal nodded, smiling slightly. Grateful for the shade that Agnia always shared, when what should be crying and being soothed now is Agnia not herself. "Thank you for always being strong, dear.."

"Hey.." Agnia chuckles. "Not a cool thing, what we experience is not so torturous compared to the difficulties of others. Therefore we should be thankful, and give in to God's decision."

"Hem.." Akmal nodded weakly.

"Thank you, it's always there.. You're a great husband. I'm happy, relieved, and grateful."

Agnia sighed, Her husband's response has always been weak so sad, as if his taste for speech was gone. Her outstretched hand grabbed Akmal's hand, and the back of her husband's hand was short. "Ah. yes, about this morning.."

"What?"

"You haven't apologized to Mother?"

"Oh. that, not yet." Akmal poked his lips for a moment. "I was panicking, I was sad, feeling guilty. But Mommy instead asked if Mama could get pregnant again after this or not, I was at that time.."

"That's because Mommy once lost, once in the same position even more severely. Mommy's just afraid of what she's feeling, I'm going through."

"I Know, but..I mean..Why do you ask that? Why don't you ask her about her daughter-in-law's safety first? That's what I'm not happy about."

Agnia smiled, grabbing Akmal's chin. "Yes, at least it's because you love me, but... Can't give birth to a child, for a woman it's a very sad thing. It was a nightmare, even a very strange reality. And Mother experienced that, baby.. Can you imagine how hard that is? When you see me like this, what about Mommy?" Agnia tightened her grasp. "Quickly.. as soon as you see Mother, yes? Look at Mother, just as you are watching me."

Indeed, the best, Akmal slowly knew the meaning of everything came with his wisdom and lessons. Now it is clear how after marrying her who was originally so close to the mother, now unconsciously away. He even ignored the sadness and forgot the old wounds of the Mother who might be re-emerged.

The gentle rubble on the cheek made Akmal return from his daydream. Now looking at his wife.

"Where?" ask Agnia, charging for an answer.

"Yes." Yeah." Akmal smiled, nodding. "Thank you.."

Agnia smiled broadly again. "So sorry, now thank you for what it's all about."

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"Mr's message is still the same, enough rest. Do not do a lot of strenuous activities, and avoid stress, This is not a heavy thing if you are both. And there are still years ahead to have a baby."

Agnia nodded, sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed. "Yes, Doctor." she replied with a smile.

Puspa sighed, bringing his body closer. Giving a warm hug, stroking Agnia's back several times, channeling support. "My sweet sister-in-law.."

"Excuse me.." Akmal came, cutting the moment. "Sorry, Doctor ma'am. Can I take my wife home now?" tanyanya, followed by grin. More separated than last night that continues to melow.

"Please.." replied Puspa, smiling back. "But remember, take good care of your wife. These few days try not to let Agnia move."

"Mbak... Cook no motion at all?" agnia complained, told so Akmal would be happy to trap him in the room.

Puspa. "You can do it. that's it. You see, you are indeed his son can not be diem, so it must be reminded many times. Don't move too much!" he said as he pinched Agnia's cheek slowly.

As Akmal's car was about to come out of the hospital's spacious parking lot, Agnia sighed until Akmal turned her head and spontaneously slowed down the speed of her car. Agnia looked at the hospital with a gaze that was difficult to translate.

"Why?" akmal asked, looking in the same direction.

Agnia smiled, looking over for a moment. He turned back to the hospital with his hands stroking his stomach. "The secret of God, I'm still amazed how we came when he was here. And now we're back from this hospital with just the two of us." she said with a smile.

Akmal clasped Agnia's hand, smiling gently. Of course, the sense of loss was obvious even though Agnia acted strongly in order to calm her husband and family.