The text of the Raktara.

episode 30's.

31680 Minutes have passed.

22 Days I have passed along with ka ilham. although ten days only by chat or phone. today is graduation day ka ilham and we were invited to eat to celebrate. there are orphanage children, organization friends and others.

I don't know why I feel like crying when I should be okay and happy.

"what time is it?" ask bang raka.

"at 7." I replied.

"where's food?" continue to meta.

ka meta just came home from his hometown 3 days ago. bang raka, ka meta and jaka are also invited and we will go together.

"at the cafe that belongs to me."

"lo kok nga seneng that"

"gue nga papa bang. just think again.thinking a lot of things that clearly do not know the direction where." I look moody. replied as if.

"sleep later I wake up." ka meta touch my shoulder and I immediately turn towards the room. without waiting for long I let my body and brain to rest.

____

"jan, let's get up." I heard the voice of ka meta but I couldn't open my eyes.

"jan. I know you again nga mood butkan prayersnga can stayin. let's wake up after that shower." and I open my eyes and then change my sleeping position.

"met, please tell me to bang raka buyin I porridge chicken well. which I usually eat." said me and ka meta mangangguk slowly.

I tried to wake myself up and took a shower.

I heard the sound of an adhan from my cell phone alarm.I took ablution and prayed.

rakaat per rakansi I worked until I reached the end of prayer.

I raised my hands and asked Allah SWT.

ask for everything I need today and ask for forgiveness for everything I do.

after I let it go I rushed downstairs and ate the porridge I had seen on the dinner table.

it turned out that my guess was right. My body started to fever and the many thoughts made the taste in my bland food back again.

I eat voraciously even though it feels so bland. I try hard not to get sick. Tonight is the night I've been waiting for. So don't let everything fall apart just because my illness is relapsing.

"met.. metaaa" I call. sounds very disrespectful indeed but only meta can help me.

"why?"

"loh.. kok lo puket face anyway. sick?" continue ka meta then feel my eel that the temperature may be high.

"astaga. relapse again?"

"don't tell me anything else."

"we went to the hospital well. found the doctor gilang." ka meta suggested.

"nega met. tonight I have to go to the graduation ceremony for inspiration and I can survive if the medicine I drink" I explained.

"okay. l'm the same as buying the medicine."

"don't. bang raka nga can know"

"but.."

accompany him when he wants to play.

3 Hours passed. After performing the magrib prayer and getting ready, bang raka called me and said that

the car is ready.

I smiled even though I was really very weak.I purposely put on a slightly thick lipstick so as not to look pale.

"well-spoken? same mom and dad."

ask me meta.

"he said carefully." I replied. While in the car I just leaned my head and rested.jaka suddenly clasped my hand and whispered softly.

"you okay?" I flinched then smiled and replied to her words.

"I'm okay" I replied with a funny face.

"I love u" he continued.

"I love u too"

until we get to the traffic jam.

somehow this line must be stuck when this is the fastest way to get there.

and the path I used to walk.

"bang. kok stuck anyway? it's almost there." I said.

"gue check first deh" bang raka check what happened until this line is stuck.

and after the bang back, he said there was an accident between trucks so jammed, not to mention the narrow road and residents who are noisier because of the sabbath.

"astaga." continued ka meta.

"what time will we be?" I said that I started to panic if I wasn't going to make it in time.

and we were still stuck in traffic when me, jaka and bang raka finished praying Isya.

I saw my watch showing at 8:48. To be honest, it was too late, but after waiting 15 minutes we finally escaped the accident.

"here right?" ask ka meta who replaced bang raka to drive.

"yes." me and jaka go down first. and the cafe looks very crowded.I also see the children of the home who are busy eating.There are also children's organizations. also already seen nina and dawn that might be waiting for me in front of the cafe.

"let's go in." bring bang raka.

"eh, bang raka, ka meta sama also go straight into aja. jana let's be the same." dawn came to us and took me away with Nina who was sitting at the table where I used to sit.

"obviously everything." I said. I actually already know one thing. because from earlier I did not see the figure of a man who has been with me for 22 days. why should nina and dawn wait for me in front of the cafe? there must be a reason behind the awkwardness I felt when I saw them.

"jan.. Im so sorry. This is a roll of paper on day 22 today. ka ilham in bargain scholarship to continue his S2. and he just want to be the same for his last days. he is too afraid for the things you hate. I know this is heavy. There is a cardboard belonging to him who was going to give elo. she's been waiting for you here but she has to go to the airport to catch her plane.she-" Nina says a lot of things that make my head and eyes hurt.

"stop." I said slowly.

"gue doesn't care if he wants to leave and he doesn't need to leave because we're nothing" I said and stood up to leave them. but when I stepped forward to go my head hurt once and I was unconscious, I didn't know what happened after I fainted. I don't know if dinner for his graduation continues or stops.

for the ka ilham.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now, whether it's hate or something, but I'm sure there's a reason behind this even though I don't want to know it.

go if this is your will and please don't come back just for me.