The text of the Raktara.

episode 16 - rejaka.

I leaned back and put my head on her shoulder nina. I told her that I wanted to sleep a lot. I closed my eyes for a moment.. I heard some people cheering and I thought maybe the special guest was already present.

"jan. wake up and anggara is here." said Nina and raised my head.

"huft" I noticed well who the man standing on the stage was. with his dark green coat stellan and jeans accompanied by sneaker shoes.he also tied his long hair. I was like knowing him but he was like an adult.I looked at him without making a sound.

"assalamualaikum" hail.

"walaikumsalam"

"haii.. it is very nice to be invited to this event, inspiration came and asked me to fill out the show just to tell my experience of being a director and my inspirational story.okay my name is rafkana anggara, and I will be invited to do it, you know me as a fencer." a little bit of depth about the guy makes me cramped. Then I knew him from the beginning he was standing on stage. my tears immediately fell along with the thousands of questions that were on my mind and the emotions that I was holding back.I was grateful that I was wearing a mask.it slightly covered who I was.

"being a director is not a trivial thing.I passatin many things during my race, I am a random child. I am native to this city but I am just walking I go to various cities, said people, with traveling we can know where we are. I've been around a lot of cities just wanting to know where my fortune is. BDW, my feelings when I became a winner hm. I did not expect but this is god's plan.there are many people who stand behind me. after being a winner and directing 3 web series I wrote one book. the title is 'first love' but it's not about love to the opposite sex. I have a sister and she's my first love. when he was born his voice was rich the melodious voice of Adhan.I had one child, the child I took from the orphanage where I lived. I found the boy in my office and I saw him from childhood.So he can not separate from me. his name renjaka name that means a lot to me. I am also a photographer. nga easy. struggle is not as easy as eating trus in swallow. must have a lot of tired and have a lot of crying." I really can not resist crying. nina noticed my crying and asked me the reason I was crying. I shook my head and said that I would sit alone in the back at the very corner. renjaka is the name I gave to bang rafkana when I was 2 years old, I can't call him raka because I prefer the name jaka.

he gave some tips to students who wanted to be like him, he told me things I wanted to hear when we became our respective roles in the house. he as a kaka and me as a sister.he even joked with the child named renjaka.they occasionally laughed but I did not show a smile even though covered in a mask.

they open the question session.I would love to ask but my emotions will be roaring.

my hand suddenly clenched.I felt like I wanted to punch him.he didn't even see my family when he arrived in this city.at least meet my father and mother.

"okay.who would like to ask the bang anga." said ka ilham as the host.

and inspiration refers to 1 person from various people who want to ask questions.

"please."

"my name is nadia.. I want to ask... do you have a boyfriend?" the question was immediately laughed at by many people except me.

"hahah ferocious question well...

hm.. girlfriend well.. have her name meta." answered rafkana and I immediately threw away my view. 'meta' she even remembered who the woman who until now still waiting for her.

"second question" continued ilham.

"how do you feel about the thousands of participants?"

"it's kind of being in a crowd of people but finding the light that guides my journey" he replied with a parable.

thousands of questions were asked about how she became a photographer and how she lived her life.all she told in the questions they asked. there were only a few organizers left, nina, dawn and me. nina and dawn were still here because there was a need for inspiration. I looked at the figure of the man I wanted to be angry with. I looked at him without turning.nina, dawn and inspiration were talking behind me.

"ham.. we go first well.." said a few organizers of the event. and all that was left was five of us. I looked at him with tears that kept falling, also was cleaning some of the equipment he was carrying. I still looked at him while standing up.

"jan, why are you?" tanya dawn but I just fell silent and just looked at the man who was laughing.

I don't know what they were talking about but after the conversation they rafkana walked towards me and approached.

"is there something to ask?" tanyakanya.

but I only answered him with glazed eyes as well as tears that fell.he also looked into my eyes.I missed the gaze as close as ni bang. My chest was tight and my head began to relapse.. I shake my head many times to get better.

"whose name?" rafkana and nina asked almost to answer him but I held back because I wanted to bang raka recognize me just by my gaze. I looked back at him with tears hoping he recognized me.

suddenly I saw the tears of the raka bang also fell. The three people who were between me and the raka bang asked his cries.

"de" he said, and I took one step back.

"jan." called him again.I was getting crowded.when bang Raka wanted to come closer and hug me I immediately dodged.

"lo's no one I am and who has the right to hug me just family." I replied and opened the mask that I was wearing earlier.

"daddy. brother-"

"1 thing you should know, my brother did not exist 5 years ago" I replied. I still can not hold back my tears.

"dad, brother, I'm sorry."

"lo have to be aware, you nga will be as successful as this without parents.lo nga will be as successful as this if there is no upbringing from the same father mama, nga, even when you're here you can perfect yourself to make it home. you never think of the meta feeling when you go. you don't think of your first love. lo nga pantes called brother. lo nga pantes happy on the suffering of the same father mama.lo successful but lo barin we fight at home every time they talk about lo." and my emotions suddenly shot out, every sentence I said raised my anger.

"dek, you know your brother is wrong, but you have a reason to apologize, brother plans to meet you after this event. brother does not care you will be angry what brother but brother kangen same house." he replied trying to make me understand.

"what did you say? same house? where have you been all this time? why just now? do not go back. kitaaaaa already do not need lo. kitaaaa can live without lo. ngerti?" the tone of the voice was getting higher like the cry of a horse while being trapped by a tree branch.

"don't be angry with papa" suddenly embraced me, begging me not to scold rafkana. I crouched down and took off his arms.

"you're not angry with your father, you're like his voice is like gini. kaka-" when I want to continue my sentence.I suddenly wipe my tears and hold me tight and kiss my cheek.

"don't be sad" he said.

"we feel sad" I reply. I cannot say rude to a tenjaka who is still five years old. At this age he will remember the events he saw.

"renjana?. the little prison is a story that you always tell before going to bed. said papa renjana is the most beautiful princess." he replied and I just fell silent.

"it turns out right, the princess is beautiful." rjaka then touched my cheek. without saying goodbye I immediately ran away from them all. I was really devastated. I really wanted to go to a different world. I don't know what to think about right now, but on one side I was a little relieved because I could scold him. I walked at a crossroads without stopping a single car. I also still with tears that continue to fall. I was confused what to say to my father, mother and ka meta about bang raka.