The text of the Raktara.

episode 20's.

when I opened my eyes all I saw was bang raka and jaka who was watching me sleep. I started to feel better even though my head was still sore and wanted to vomit.

"how is he?" ask bang raka.

"it's a little light, I want to throw up" I said and bang Raka tried to hold me to go to the bathroom.

I spit out all the food I ate last night.

"already." I said, then helped walk.

"drink first."

"this is the porridge. want a bribe?" ask her gently.

"nga need. jaka can ask help mba meta to take ka jana warm water. "ijarku on jaka. jaka call ka meta with the name of MBA. I don't know the name of where it is.

"eat first." bang raka took a spoon and bribed me but I refused.

"gue can be alone"

"stay open the mouth of the truck chewed after it was swallowed. want who bribe the process must be the same anyway." I gave up and let him to bribe me. I spent my food. after that ka meta came and brought me warm water.

"jaka again nemenin mom with dad." said ka meta. after eating I decided to take the medicine that was bought both last night.

"what's the bath in her body?" ask bang raka. here's the real bang raka. how can I not be angry if he goes. No matter how small my problem must be he behind it. since childhood he took care of me so when bang raka left I felt lost because there was no one to care like him

"just take a shower but help me meta." they nodded slowly and bang raka wait outside. while ka meta helped me walk to the bathroom.

ka meta tells the story of last night.even bang raka nga sleep. after making me sleep in his arms he took care of me while occasionally holding my hand so as not to get cold. he did not even sleep afraid I woke up to just urinate.he just looked at me while crying out what was in his hand.I smiled at ka meta after he told me many things about bang raka.

when I finished taking a shower and decided to go downstairs to eat I saw nina and the cool dawn chatting with dad and mom.

"why are you two here?" ask them.

"janaa.. lo sick what?" tanya nina immediately groped my jidat.

"let's come with me." I said. I brought them on my rooftop.

"what are you two doing here?"

"the judge told us to come here, he said last night you came home late due to heavy rain.he was afraid just because this task you are very sick." explained dawn.

"just relax, I'm good"

"well nutmeg lo. tuh face shoots really know. want to lie again with us" nina and I just fell silent.

"BTW, ka ilham also nyariin." continued dawn.

"hm. nga likes me the same he. hate me so much as him. do not know all why he can forget the same task.biarin I am alone again.nga have a heart emang." I'm upset

"any reason is wrong."

"jan, udalah.." continued dawn.

"eh, you two buy me dong food"

"hhh rumbles." said dawn.

"gue knows how many times the two of you are dating." instantly they were shocked by my words.

"what did you say? a courtship? not." ngeles nina.

"no courtship but committed courtship is forbidden" said dawn and I immediately smiled.

"it's okay to buy skarang gih."

"huftt.. okey2 let me aja.lo here with nina." said dawn.me and nina nodded slowly.after dawn went away me and nina talked a lot of things.

"jan. you never really like people? or fall in love with it." asked Nina. I initially fell silent because this is a step question.not even one of my friends asked about this.

"ehm must have been just as bad as that, but I've never been in love. There's only a first glance but never been. I once liked my friend almost 9 years. from SD. but after he told me that he likes my best friend, I immediately back off and slowly let go." I explained.

"what? very funny."

"but there is one guy who makes me comfortable. his name is ocean.he has long liked me but his guenya who is not aware. now he is the same as others. even until now I haven't been able to move on. It's hard for me to forget him. I know it's part of the zina of the heart but it's not all my will. it's destiny." I don't know. I suddenly told my story with the ocean.

"samudras? I've never been horrified if it's not wrong at a haikal wedding same diana" said nina and I nodded slowly.

"samudra spupuan same haikal. yesterday was our meeting after 4 years. but I avoid, too sick nin have to accept he's the same as others while he likes me. still want to talk a lot with him but well that's not a soul mate"

"kok sad. kasainannn"

"its okay.the ocean is my first real love.the first love at the end of each story becomes the last. sometimes first love teaches how pain is healed by disappointment or simply teaches how to be careful in love because love is too dangerous." I'm so wise, I love the ocean, but God is jealous when I love others more than God.

"do you have an intention to open your heart?" nin's question again scrunched me up.

"nya nya that."

"for 2 years we know. nga there have been no stories about the feelings of lo. or who you like."

"gue only chooses the man who pursues me even though I have been driven a thousand times.because such a man is a man who loves sincerely.not just the name of love, not just the name of love, and a man who only loves physically without knowing who I am is the man I rejected once trus run away." I explained. love is too dangerous, so you need to be careful to get the sincere.

"gue sometimes want loh kaya loh lo. can be strong heart even though it actually hurts.lo can change yourself well because lo keep it. and there are a thousand things about lo that I like. moreover, the thought of lo. very mature, in the sense that you can handle the slightest problem in your life.it's cool anyway" nina suddenly became sweet like this. I just smile feeling in the praise of the world.

"nin, it's hard so I. you'll be strong.

you can have thoughts of suicide because you feel you take the wrong path.and thankfully I know you the same dawn that taught me how to forget the same god. not forgetting the same best arrangement in our lives. and about men. I still have not thought of anyway." after I said many things.we talked so seriously. not long after the dawn came to bring me a lot of food.I ate but I did not feel it at all.I just smiled at them without saying that my food was very bland. it's not the seller's fault, but it has to happen.