The Forbidden Love of Dara

Sia - Sia

"Yes I also think like that, but I doubt - doubt the story to Dara, because........."

"Don't Van, you don't be careless! not what, just afraid that if you who continue to accidentally leak stories from where even become berabe, let alone your efforts are also still connected to cooperation with the company of his grandmother, his grandmother, if only breaking the contract may still be able to think of a way out but if until you are prosecuted because it is considered to spread news that is not really how? although you actually know, the problem in this city is that their families are not ordinary people!

yaudah now the Dara wants me to test first to know how to handle it!" then Rina asked some questions that Dara answered very briefly

"Van, I tell you what to do with people at home, I give you vitamins and low-dose sedatives, but if you've improved the medicine don't be given again ya.." he said

After Rina's house, I immediately brought Dara home, took her food and gave her the medicine earlier.

Then when he was asleep, I also began to tell all Dara's problems to Mama who immediately made mama cry immediately to hear him.

"Mama realized that all this time mama was too busy to lack the same attention Dara and Doni, and mama also actually!" I'll get Tisue right away

"Already mah, everyone will certainly experience difficult things during life, maybe because Dara was too pampered so it was difficult to accept the ordeal!" say

"But at least he doesn't continue to be lonely and doesn't have the right to vent, right?!" obviously mama

"Yes mah, I also will not stay away from him as long as he is not smart to take care of himself. And earlier doctor Rina also advised for now he should not be separated from the supervision, because umuran so still unstable not too able to think which is right and wrong, can - can later he me....."

"WEN!! don't mengajarin! Hiks.mama tau mamah wrong, but do not make mama more afraid.. Hicks..!" mama covered her face

"Well, you don't continue to blame yourself, Irvan has also been paying less attention to family, especially younger brothers!" I said sorry

"No Van, you are very good, especially you are still very young but instead have to bear the burden of being the head of the household in your home, this is one of the mama who can not keep papah...... hiks hyks!!" mamah's crying was more and more choked - sad to make me confused and suspicious.

"Well?.is it the same papa..?" I doubt - doubt but wonder

"Nothing, Van, Mama wants to go to the room to rest for a while!" said my mother who went straight to her room

'Papa? what don't - don't?! ah, easy - I hope my suspicions are wrong!' I muttered, then I went home with a thousand questions on my mind.

In the room, I who had wanted to rest even so continued to ring the words of doctor Rina who suggested that Dara be kept away from things related to Arga as long as Arga had no news, he said, this method aims so that Dara can begin to erode his feelings of guilt towards Arga because if this continues to affect his learning, let alone the National Exam is getting closer!

After I took a shower, I went back to Dara's house to start the recommended plan.

Mama who was sad was now back put on a cheerful face to build up the spirit in Dara.

Day after day passed by continuing to try to make Dara happy, mama who usually comes home at night now every afternoon must have been home by always preparing Dara's favorite food, Dara, likewise with me who always helped him learn and even I was forbidden to sleep at home every night.

(Don't2 bang Irvan delicately discharged 😅)

But it seems that the effort was all in vain, with a thinner body and eye bags that are getting blue, every day Dara still asked about the news of Arga even though we have tried to divert it, Dara said, until the time rolls until a month where Monday tomorrow Dara will start the Exam.

"Van, is he busy? it's been more than an hour since Dara's finished eating" said mom via text

'Oh my God, this boy!' I who had not just come home immediately ran.

Arriving there I saw Dara sitting pensively on the table eating with food that was still plentiful on her plate.

"Daddy, is it hard to eat again? look at your body there's a bone wrapped in gini skin!" reprimanding me, then with cynical eyes he replied:

"Mas mas! when do you want to take care of my life? why don't you take care of yourself, find a cake mate!!" he said sniffle, then ran to the room to leave his food.

BLAM!!! (door slamming sound)

'Patience Van, Dara was deliberately going to hurt you just so that he was not monitored!' I said in my heart, then I chased after him

JEGLEK.....

When I opened the door I saw that she was crying on the bed.

"Dad?" call me while approaching him

"Hiks.. Why come here, not the horror I said earlier? why not take offense to my words?! Hiks.." he asked, and I lifted his thin body to a sitting

"Here we answer!" I said while hugging him from behind.

I also began to explain that my concern for him was greater than the disappointment of the words - he said just now, especially I knew that he had deliberately said so that I would be angry and avoid it.

Then he admitted that he really wanted to make me not come to take care of him anymore, he said that he was already big, could take care of himself and was able to find his own calm.

'what does calm mean? there she had already tortured herself and tormented the inner every person in this house!' I said in my heart

Then he blatantly asked me to refuse every request of mom or mom if told to take care of him, at first I denied even though without any request I would keep him until he could be happy. But instead, he says :

"happy?! how can I be happy, while what I need now is just to know the situation of people who have helped me who even have done harm, and until now there has been no news about it, either, negative thoughts kept pressing on my inner self, making me feel like I had become a murderer! do I still deserve to be happy?!" His words that instantly made my heart scratched, I felt that all this time my efforts to restore it really had no meaning for him

"~Mafin mas ya dek. (sudden - suddenly shed tears)

sorry if it turns out that until now there are still many shortcomings, mas do not becus keep adek, do not becus be a good brother, so be a good brother, if indeed the arrival of the mas only adds to the burden for adek mas will not bother anymore, (while releasing my embrace)

the important thing is that you take good care of yourself - well, once again sorry for the deck!"

I kissed his head and went home.

This time I really felt like I had failed,

'Has my care and affection not sufficiently healed his wounds? or maybe there's no love for me?' I thought that instantly made my mind weaken, then I entered the house with a crumbling feeling.

then we sat in the bed.

"Mom..for a while I can not shuttle or ngawasin Dara.." I said.

"Lhooh why? whatever he says don't take heart, he's just shaken up his emotions!" my mother said she was trying to calm me down

"Yes I understand mom, I'm not hurt by her words even if until she nails me I will be normal. But she said the more I look after her the less she can find peace!" my story

"Sduuuh Van! think dong if he talks that way is not it more worrying? let alone her being young, a mother of many children only takes years to recover the feeling of disappointment!" Obviously mother while grige to me

"So how should I go, ma'am? I'm not not worried, mom, but I see for myself she's been in a month and there has been no change, and that was indirectly he threatened if I continued - continued to worry him then he would not improve! !" I obviously shed tears

"Geez, I'm sorry, son! (to cry)

I don't mean to blame you, but I'm just too worried about Dara, she's fragile because her family's attention and affection are not complete like you used to be who still had time to take care of my father every day!" said the mother who immediately awakened me

"Yes mother was right, I who was taken care of by my father and mother every day still feel less attention because it is divided by younger brothers, sisters, and sisters, and the words mom just made me realize it was still better than Dara!" I said while wiping away the tears

"At least your presence even if only limited to a close neighbor can still fill the emptiness of his life, replacing the father figure he rarely met, the figure of a brother he needed. So what, you still want to ignore him?" ask mom

"Yes ma'am I will pay attention to him, but for a while I will take care of him indirectly, because I do not want him to be uncomfortable because of my presence, I'll ask my friend to make a special ngojek to pick him up, and at school I'll ask his best friend to help him continue to accompany him wherever he goes!" Obviously, then mom nodded and smiled

"Yes no matter how you are, I believe in you, if that's how you go down first." standing up and leaving.

Then I walked over to the balcony of my room, leaned back in the fences while thinking back to the last words that Dara said earlier and somehow my heart still hurt, not because of his words but because of my powerlessness towards him.

I don't know what to do so he can forget about Arga a little bit so he can recover.

The dark clouds and the specks of rain out here depict my fragile mood, which I realized was never meaningful to him...

'Thin drizzle whizzing in the wind now perched in my eyes remembering your once radiant smile filled with love,

I only hope that you will be the happiest person in the world, in arms as we promise each other will always be together

Maybe this time I was too selfish

expecting you to be mine forever, is it because I feel that you are my last love?

But this time I'm just going to blame the rain that's been spilling that feeling out of you, and I'm getting really sad.

It feels like the world has left us and you disappeared somewhere I can't find it.

Maybe you'd laugh at me if you knew I said something like this.

I know that I'm asking you too much, but right now I wish that we could go back to the way we used to be together in grief'

(Ow, Bang Irvan again Galau 😭)

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.

.

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Two weeks after that, though,

Where until now I fulfill his request that will not show myself in front of him, but sometimes I hide watching him.

I know that today Dara is attending a farewell event at school. A few days ago I was told by my mother that the test scores were good enough that even enough if she wanted to continue her aspirations - she wanted to become a doctor.

'Only am I very doubtful about it, considering that Dara is very afraid of the blood!'

And strangely, until now let alone me, even mom did not know Dara wanted to continue college where, because every asked mama answer is always 'not thought!', registration for college was opened a month ago.

This afternoon, I will go to Jakarta and Bandung to take care of the renewal of cooperation contracts with several companies there which may take about a month.

Because I have not been calm at first I want to buy time or ask for help just like me to take care of it, but after dealing with mom and mom, too, they pushed me away for a thousand reasons that actually sounded absurd in my ears.

"You leave Van, if it can be more than a month is also okay!" mama said

"Waduuhi! who's gonna watch my Wedok later? moreover, he has not yet enrolled in college!" mother sewot protest

"Dara's problem does not need to be thought of, the important thing is that your office work here can be handled, sent via email as you used to when you were in college in Bandung! well so you relax - just relax there, right during here let alone to find entertainment, which there is less rest!" Mom's advice

"But mah.." I argue.

"That's okay but - but! with my mother's advice, what's wrong with you refreshing, later to hunt for wrinkles before the elderly want to?!" my mom is scared

"If your mother had said so, what's wrong..?" mother is supportive

"Daduuh! Yes, I'll leave later, but after finishing work there I want him to come back here immediately, I don't want to go on vacation if Dara aja is still moody like that!" I said, then casually went to the room and began to prepare the needs to be carried in a suitcase.

'What is really okay - what?' I muttered while watching the window of Dara's room whose curtains were waving - waving out from the wind as if it was like Dara's hand was waving at me.

At that moment I swallowed the drool that stuck in my throat, while feeling my chest that began to tight because it would leave in a long time to leave him.