Send My Letter to Heaven's

Tulip Flowers = Perfect Love

A week I managed to get through to finish the opening of my flower shop. Not a big store, just a small store that I hope someday could be a big enough store.

‘Hye Flo’, the name Kenzie chose for my florist. The combination of my name, Hyera and Florist.

I stared at all the walls in the picture very neat but elegant thanks to the hands of Brother Andrian. Groped some of the displays that Kenzie chose yesterday as well as family photos that I put near the cashier table. Still did not expect I finally ventured to plunge into the business world. Dare to rise after years of living in doubt.

Disabled girls who used to be very afraid of interacting with the crowd, girls who always felt inferior, girls who did not even have confidence at all, now dare to appear and stand.

Maybe I should thank the creator who told me about Kak Dhafin's illness. Although until now I still thought of how to cure my brother, at least after that bitter reality I dared to try and stand up.

I was always afraid to start everything. From me who can only stand behind those who are trying to save me. From me who had absolutely no passion and passion for life, now managed to get up and try everything from scratch.

From me who was afraid of criticizing people about my disability, now I can stand alone on two legs and display this is me who is disabled but has advantages.

Caring for flowers can be done by everyone. Opening a flower shop can be done by everyone. But taking the risk of my hearing being damaged and having to handle all the orders and customer wills really makes me a little proud of myself.

Encouraging the intention to change for the better is not easy. Gathering confidence that I can open a florist and care for flowers is also not easy. Intentions that were originally only covered by wishful thinking. Intentions I never even thought of developing. It is only an intention without any desire to make it happen. But now dare not dare I try to start everything.

“Satisfied?” I turned towards Kenzie who had a chest grip staring at me with a smile.

“Very.” I replied and took a few yellow roses I had arranged beside the cashier's table.

Poking it at Kenzie, made the boy frown.

“That's for you.” I smiled after the boy received two yellow roses from me.

“Forku?” Ask her with cute eyes.

I laughed a little while nodding. “Rose flower yellow color.” My Jedaku then looked at Kenzie and the rose alternately. “The flower has the meaning of friendship and joy. I am thankful that I have a good friend like you. A very understanding friend, and always there whenever I need. It makes me happy and grateful to know you. Thank you for always helping me. Thank you for never complaining to me.” I said at length and smiled at the end of the sentence.

Kenzie's eyes stared fixedly at me. Her right hand still holds the flower I gave her. His facial expression is difficult for me to understand, basically I am not good at reading the look of someone's face. But there was no smile I could find from those eyes.

The question is, does Kenzie not like his flowers?

“Thanks.” And finally the word came out of Kenzie's mouth.

I turned around while rubbing both my palms. Arrange the flower stalks that look a little messy. A little humming and then smelling the sweet smell of the flowers I touched.

Just trying to take a look out of Kenzie's eyes that I can say is a little sharpening. As I said earlier, there was still no smile imprinted on his lips.

Honestly, if I could choose some color from the existing roses, I'd like to give Kenzie a red rose.

I'm sure you all already know the meaning of the red rose without me explaining. The flower is one of the universal symbols that symbolize true love. Like my love for Kenzie. But I know enough myself not to give you that rose. Because I know, Kenzie's only love for Kimi. And maybe forever.

While with me? Just a feeling of friendship. No more, and I'm sane enough not to ask for more.

Let it be like this. At least Kenzie didn't leave me.

“You know some flower meanings?”

Pause for a moment I nodded slowly. “Not all, only little do I know.”

“Emm... Then do you know what tulips mean?”

Stopping my activities of arranging flower stalks, I smiled bitterly. “Why? Want to give it to Kimi?”

It's not wrong to ask like that? Kenzie asked about the tulip emblem, which as far as I was concerned symbolized perfect love. Like her love for Kimi, maybe.

Everyone knows how unfortunately Kenzie is on Kimi, and vice versa. Two very compatible and perfect couples. Who wouldn't envy them? Moreover, besides beautiful Kimi is also graceful. Dreams right?

“No. I didn't say I wanted to give it to Kimi.”

Grab some flowers and check them carefully. I hope there are no beetles in it.

Actually without me checking first it is certain there are no beetles alighting, it's just…

I'd consider Kenzie my first customer. And I'll give something special to my customers. Moreover, my first customer was a person who also had a special position in my heart.

“Yes. Kimi doesn't like flowers. And I also have no intention of giving her flowers.”

My two working hands paused for a moment, looked at the flower I was holding, then continued my work.

“I guess Kimi likes flowers. I just wanted to give this tulip to her. You can tell this flower is from you, and maybe she'll like it.”

The sound of the bench sounds shifting. Maybe Kenzie's sitting down. My body is still standing behind him.

“Kimi prefers puppies over flowers. I never gave her flowers either. I don't even know her favorite flower.” A small laugh at the end as a sweetener to Kenzie's story.

I turned around for a moment, looking at Kenzie who was smiling as she told Kimi. I wondered if anyone would tell me about me with such a big smile?

It's funny when I envy everything Kimi can get. Pretty face, smart, graceful, Kenzie likes, everything. Even Kimi looks so perfect like an angel.

If, yes... back I said ‘andai’. Breathing out heavily, I tried to smile back.

“Honey is the same mbak girlfriend. Her story up to the spirit of it.” Godaku and Kenzie laughed.

Yet again Kenzie's laughter made my heart buzz painfully. Because the laughter was caused because Kimi was not because of me.

“Kimi good.” Without even telling me I know Ken. “I will keep it until the end.” Lord, this hurts when your loved one says he will keep his loved one in front of you directly.

If I'm selfish, I want to take Kimi's position. But I'm self-conscious enough not to do that stupid thing. What is, I will instead make my relationship and Kenzie more distant.

Just let me. This one-sided love let me feel it. One day, there will be a part of me to be happy. Not with Kenzie maybe, but other people out there will be able to look after me and be happy, and take the main position in my heart after Kenzie. I just had to be patient a little bit to meet that guy.

“Where are you going?” I asked while pulling a bench in front of Kenzie. Sitting face to face with a small white table and one sunflower blooming on it. I looked at Kenzie, who was staring at the ceiling of the shop.

“Kimi asked me to accompany her.” Ahh. I guess.

Smiling, I moved and picked up the tulips I had already assembled. “When you meet Kimi later, give me this flower. I'm sure he'll like.”

“But Ra..”

“There is no woman who does not like flowers, as far as I know. Just give it up, take this in return because I'm taking your time away from Kimi. He will love it, trust me.” I smile. Always forcing a smile when the reality of my heart is inversely proportional to my smile.

Kenzie shut up for a second. His eyes are staring at me. The look was shady yet a little intimidating. His hands move slowly. Take over the tulips I've prepared for her.

“Send my regards to Kimi.” I said the final, and Kenzie nodded. Taking a step, the boy stood up and took his leave.

My eyes glare at the back of the person I have loved for a long time. The more he walked the more his back was out of my sight.

Smiling bitterly, I stared at the sunflower that was in the middle of the table.

My heart hurts, but I'm happy. Although I can't have it, at least I have a hand to make him laugh.

Think of this as a start for me to establish myself when Kenzie will actually go with Kimi. I don't know when, but that time will come. Kenzie, who will hold Kimi's hand, makes a sacred promise and ends up living happily building a harmonious family.

It's a little laughable to talk about ‘family’ when we're not even old enough to build a family. But judging from the attitude of the two of them, I'm sure their love will reach a peak point called ‘happiness’.

My prayer, may I let go of Kenzie and I soon find my happiness.