Send My Letter to Heaven's

Am I Less Grateful?

My chest feels tight. I felt pain as I looked into Kimi's eyes. Those eyes were emitting a very painful highlight. Have I been secretly hurting her all this time? Was my existence among them a mistake?

I put my foot out further away from the hospital. The road is right in front of my eyes. Fuck all my talk. I just want to get home and end this story today.

Anger suddenly came to possess my soul. What's the matter? Why am I angry?

Given all the sadness that has happened to me, why do Kimi's words seem to be cornered if I am not grateful? What am I grateful for?

The defect?

An orphan?

Kara one?

My mind is at war again.

Is the world not tired of playing with my life? Have you ever thought about being the most painful person on earth? If it is, then you feel what I feel now.

Being the most painful.

“Hyera!”

The voice again called my name. I'm sick. Why does he keep appearing in front of me. Why is Kenzie always around me?

By accident?

Oh definitely not. From the beginning, the boy always showed up wherever I was. Either by chance or he followed me. It reminded me of Kimi's words.

“Hyera! Where are you going?!”

Wh why? That's my business. No one can stop me from running.

“Hyera! Stop!”

The magic is coming again. I wonder, why is it that every Kenzie tells me to stop I stop right away? I hate my submissive self.

“What else?!” Let me repeat, I'm angry right now. So don't be surprised if I suddenly snap.

“Why is that fast walking? Chase what?”

The tail of my eyes glanced at the streets that looked crowded than usual. “Ngejar you. Satisfied?”

Maybe God is being kind. He told me to confess my true feelings to him. After all, Kimi already knew about my feelings Kenzie.

“Why call my name? Why chase me? This is the way home, the direction to the hospital is behind you. You want to look at your girlfriend, right? Jaudah. Why here? Why call my name again?”

Kenzie shook his head slowly. “I don't know you.”

I put my lips up. Form a smirk line that is usually given by antagonistic characters. “I didn't tell you to make me understand.”

Turn around, run as fast as he can, leaving Kenzie alone by the side of the road. I should have done that, before my hand was pulled back by her.

“Don't block me!”

Kenzie's head shook his head in a sign of not understanding once more. And I, trying to get my hand out of his grasp.

“Why are you? Why angry rich gini?”

I don't know why I'm angry either. What makes me angry? Why should I be angry?

“Lease!”

“Hyera! Why are you?”

“I'm not okay. I just want to go home. So take my hand off, and let me go home.”

Instead of being on the loose, the boy pulled my body closer and hugged me tightly.

I was quite surprised by Kenzie's actions. But I also couldn't make a move when he tightened his arms.

“Sabar Ra's. Why are you angry with gini?”

There was a sense of calm when Kenzie spoke softly like just now. But there was a feeling of disappointment that somehow suddenly just appeared.

I know I'm not the full-hearted owner of Kenzie's. Roughly, I was just someone who accidentally knew for a long time and broke my feelings because I was together too often.

Although Kimi said that I won over Kenzie's heart, it seems Kimi's words must be corrected. Because if I win over Kenzie's heart, Kenzie shouldn't have asked Kimi out on a date.

“Lepasin Ken.”

There was no response or movement from him. I was silent, and so was Kenzie who was silent.

“Why?” I said quietly in Kenzie's arms. “Why should I like you?” My intention is to keep this feeling well, but in fact I am also confused why this feeling never subsided or even disappeared. “Why should I like my own friend?”

The embrace is getting tighter. But there's no answer.

Miris.

“Least.” Hugs off. I ventured to look into his eyes, there I found no answer at all.

I swallowed my mouth rough. Smiled sarcastically, then sneered inwardly.

“Sorry to like you. I make sure tomorrow this feeling will disappear.” The final I said with a heavy heart.

Do you think I can take away the feelings I buried dozens of years ago last night? Sillier.

“And sorry, it has become a stain in your perfect life.” I'm quite aware of my position.

“Why say that? I don't like you low yourself rich so.”

My eyebrows raised one. “Not low, but it's reality.”

“Can't be grateful for what you have? There are so many good things about you that you don't know. All cover equal taste insecure mu.”

“You say as if you were in my position.”

“I am not in your position. But as long as I am beside you I also understand what you are rasain.”

“Bullshit.”

“That's reality.”

Eyes that exude honesty.

“Stop pitying on my miserable life.” I said while retreating backwards.

“What if I like you too? What if I like that feeling too? What if all this time your love is reciprocated?”

I spontaneously stopped hearing Kenzie's words. Is the kid talking honestly or just???

“Stop pitying me!”

I ran after saying two words just now. It's not that I don't want to hear the rest, I just feel like my life is getting sadder and worse.

My conversation with Kimi was enough to make me think. If Kenzie had spoken honestly about his feelings for me today, I can be sure tonight I will not sleep peacefully.

I hate to be the one who continues to be pitied. I hate being the only person to be built in the shadows of others.

I hate myself like this.

“Hyera stop there!”

I took off the hearing aid that was attached to my ear. Heeding the hearing of his many calls may be better now, than constantly hearing the calls that make my heart more slashed.

Silence has plagued my life. My heart rate is no longer heard.

Kenzie's call is gone. Hustle and bustle of vehicles and then also vanished. I think God took my hearing so that I wouldn't hear the screams of a passionate feeling. But, is that true?

I run faster and faster without direction. The absence of sound around me freely run without hearing one of the crowd who looked at me. Strange, they looked at me while their lips were saying something.

What was?

I raised my hearing aid, I wanted to reattach it, and after the sounds re-entered my sense of hearing, a single pull caused me to bounce off the sound of an impact that was quite deafening.

Here, I fell down with the condition of the body that bounced a few inches to the side of the road.

With feelings I could not describe, I got up and walked to the middle of the road. Sitting quietly in front of him who was looking at me with dimmed eyes and an inline smile.

A red viscous liquid flowed into the highway, followed by the look of his eyes that began to dim. My heart aches, suddenly my heart feels numb and almost numb. My body is squeezing, I can no longer cry. Tears cannot come out at all. The tightness of my chest made me stutter to just talk.

With all my carelessness and insanity, I saw Kenzie, the man I love getting hit by a white truck passing from the opposite direction.

Naas, the truck that was supposed to hit me just hit my love guy.

In the last look of Kenzie's eyes, the boy smiled. His hand tried to touch my face. I let my clothes get wet with blood.

All the screams of my call echoed in order for Kenzie to maintain his consciousness.

At the end, before Kenzie closed his eyes perfectly, the boy spoke a soft voice that made my heart beat thousands of times faster.

"Hyera, I like you."