Send My Letter to Heaven's

Temporary Rainbow

“Don't give too much water. Later the roots can rot.” Dhafin spontaneously stopped his activities. Looked at me who was watching him from earlier.

It's still morning. It was too early for my sister to go to the cafe. I don't go to school anymore. More comfortable home schooling than every day having to meet people who seem friendly on the outside but insult me on the inside.

Besides, I also avoided meeting between Kenzie and Kimi. I don't want my heart to hurt when I see them interacting. Actually, just imagining it makes my heart hurt.

“Sorry.” Lirih Kak Dhafin's. Returned the watering hose to its place and walked up to me who was busy arranging flowers.

“Will not learn to arrange flowers?” I bidarku to Dhafin's sister who was busy observing my movements.

Dhafin shook his head slowly. His eyes were still focused on me, I realized that. “What breakfast are you having?” Ask.

I smile small, “Any cooking sister will I eat kok.” I answered at the end of a crisp laugh.

Brother Dhafin again sighed softly. Whether it's just my gut feeling or it's true, it seems like he's been thinking a lot lately.

I put down the little blue scissors I used to tidy up the edges of the flowers. He leaned on my hands, then looked at my brother's two brown beads.

“No problem?” My toot.

“No. Just a little tired after overtime last night.”

“You looking for employees only? The legacy of my father has not been touched at all. We can live sufficiency until we are old, do you not want to use it?”

I've often persuaded my sister to use her father's legacy. I pity her. If I could be of little use, maybe I could help her. I don't know for sure what reason Kak Dhafin wouldn't touch our parents' property. Each time I asked him why for my future. It's a little confusing, but the legacy for both of us isn't just for me.

“Have my sister said, sister is still able to take care of her own cafe.”

“But big brother often overtime. Later sister can be sick due to fatigue.”

Brother Dhafin smiled gently at me. “There's Andrian you can count on. The child can help the brother at any time. You don't have to worry.”

I shouldn't have to worry. My brother is a strong man. A very responsible man and also a hard worker.

My brother is independent, can solve everything by himself. But even so, Sister Dhafin is the only family I have left. Until I will continue to worry about it. I don't want Dhafin's brother to get hurt. I want him to live happily.

“Pak Sam come what time will it be?”

“Say at 9.”

“Studying is right. You must be a successful person in the future.”

“I'm disabled kak.”

“No rule disabled people should not succeed.” Brother Dhafin breathed out softly. “All humans are disabled, unfortunately their disability is not visible in front of our eyes.”

I nodded in agreement to the words of Brother Dhafin. Mr. Sam, the teacher who taught me also said the same thing. He said all those people must have had a diatribe, had a deficiency. Envy for example, it includes heart defects, said Mr. Sam.

I sometimes don't really understand the terms that are often said Mr. Sam. But I know, his purpose was to say that so that my spirit would grow again. Nothing in this world is perfect. That's what I caught. Even if we have a beautiful face and get the attention of many people, it cannot be a benchmark for someone to be perfect.

Life whirring. I know that, someone's fate will also continue to change. There are times when we get tears today, but a second later we get happy laughter. That's why we create gratitude. Because as I know, as bitter and sweet as any life, we must be grateful.

“Kak,” call me slowly and Kak Dhafin immediately turned his head.

“Hmm..”

“That time I was cleaning up in my sister's room. Sorry I was sassy, brother's room was a mess so I went in to tidy it up.” After I said that, Kak Dhafin's two eyeballs widened. Was he surprised?

“Lain times let sister only. You do not need to bother cleaning your room.”

“But brother,”

“Hmm..”

Doubt for me to send it to my sister. Besides sassy to enter his room without permission, I also presumptuously took some of my brother's medicine.

It's not max want to know or whatever it is. I can't believe Kenzie's words if my brother only took painkillers to ease his fatigue. Is it not that sleep can restore energy depleted due to fatigue? Why do we have to take so much medicine?

Even more surprising, last night I saw a new yellow drug on the nightstand. What other drugs?

I swallowed my mouth rough. Curious but afraid to ask. If I don't ask, I'll be curious. Brother Dhafin will be honest if I ask, right? Better to ask than I keep guessing. Yeah, like that. I'll ask.

“Not be a brother.”

The corner of my lips lifted, I smiled wryly. My cowardly soul dominates it.

Brother Dhafin smiled gently, “Already, brother wants to clean up first. Breakfast will be between Brother Andrian. You are well yes at home.”

I nodded in response.

I can see my brother's body starting to move away. A burly body that has borne a heavy burden since the departure of father and mother.

A back that carries a lot of responsibility since he was 10 years old. A great brother to a disabled sister like me.

I don't want to lose confidence. I have established my intention, at least desperately changing my perspective so that I can succeed and make my brother proud.

I have some skills. Caring for plants and a little can make up a story.

It's not just people in general. I just take care of the garden behind the house and my writing is still a mess. I haven't shown everything to my sister. But I want to see my brother smile proudly at me.

I looked again at the park. Soon the flowers start to bloom. I had to learn how to brew chamomile tea for my sister.

My sister likes chamomile tea, she says its fragrant aroma is very soothing.

This time let me take care of her. I can't be a parasite for too long. I have a purpose to make her happy.

The body disappeared. Either way, every time Brother Dhafin leaves, my heart actually holds back. I don't want to be away from her. I even cried when she disappeared from my sight. Like now, for example.

My hands again wiped away the tears that kept coming down my cheeks. Sister Dhafin just went to the cafe, but it feels like I'm going to stay Kak Dhafin go far.

From the time I was 5 years old, and since our mother's father died, Dhafin has never once left me. Why am I so scared now?

Brother Dhafin will not leave his responsibility to take care of me. It won't. He's a very responsible man. Until the end, Dhafin will stay with me.

Ting Tong's…

My tears stopped when I heard the door bell ringing. Wiping and removing any traces of tears on the cheeks before I headed towards the main door.

Passing through the living room, I glanced at the wall clock attached to the henchman near my photo and Dhafin's sister. It's 8 in the morning. It's still morning for someone to meet.

Cklek…

I could see clearly who was now standing in front of me.

The man with the tall body, the hair a little random, wearing the school uniform, and not knowing his embarrassment smiled bared his white teeth towards me.

“Kok here?” ask me with a frowning forehead.

“I lazy school. So I'm here.”

I grunt softly. Get out of the house and align myself with Kenzie's height. “Many people out there want to go to school. You are not the right school even truant.”

The boy rubbed the neck of his neck. “I want to study with you. I heard that your teacher is fun and handsome, so I'm here with you.” My forehead winches. “A-anu maxku, you are not a woman, at home alone, keep your teacher male if he is evil to you how?”

My forehead is still creeping. “Your reason is classic Ken.” I said and he laughed.

“I brought a lot of food. We can have breakfast together.”

I sniffed my shoulders and went into the house with Kenzie trailing behind me.

I sat my ass in the guest chair. Kenzie took a seat in front of me. I can see his eyes watching me.

I slowly removed the hearing aid that was always attached to my ear. Kenzie was a little surprised. His lips moved like he was saying something. Baby, I can't hear what he's saying.

My hands are moving in a pattern. Inviting Kenzie to chat with hand gestures is like inviting a mute person to talk.

The boy was silent at the movement of my hand. Long enough I moved my hand with eyes that I did not let go of his eyes.

I looked into those eyes deep. After a few minutes, I lowered my hands. Back wearing the hearing aid and after that I could hear the sound of greeting my eardrum.

I smile.

I trained myself to interact with a lot of people. I don't know when I'll be wearing hearing aid. I don't know how much I depend on the people around me.

I must escape the shackles of all the burdens that torment me. I want to be free. And I'm determined for that.

“Hyera...” call Kenzie soft and I smile.

“Breakfast yuk. I'll set it up in the kitchen.” I said and left Kenzie alone.

I knew one day everything would go one by one. I know one day everyone will find their way. No exception to me, Kenzie or my sister.

As long as there is still time, I will try to carry my own burden and slightly take off their hands that have guided me all this time.

They have the right to walk as they please. They deserve to find their best life. Without having to think about it with me alone waiting for them when the rain suddenly came without clouding before.

I want them to reach for the rainbow without the need for a storm. They have a life, and I will find my life, someday. I want to make them proud of the disabled people they've been raising all this time. Despite only being a temporary rainbow after the rain, I want them to smile and be happy near me without being struck by lightning or blown by a storm.

I wanted to eliminate all their anxious feelings as well as their worries about this flawed me. There's still time before I really regret it. And I'm grateful, the creator gave me a strong determination before the creator gave me an even more cruel destiny.

***

“**One moment, when all is spinning and changing. Please remember me. When you find out who your escort is, please tell them about me. I'm the one who stood as a cripple next to you but once told you a story in your life.

Once upon a time, when you had cute kids, please tell them about their aunt who was disabled and often troubled her father. Tell your angel later that there used to be a temporary rainbow after the rain that managed to make you smile even if you had to.

Stay a little longer until I can make you proud to know me. I will rise up and make you proud**.”