Send My Letter to Heaven's

I Will Try

I brought my legs and body down from the bed. Staring at that undead-like shadow in front of the mirror. Next to him, I had a picture of me and Kak Dhafin smiling sweetly while carrying two cups of ice cream.

I miss the ice cream. I miss the twilight. I miss Dhafin.

Slowly, I walked over to the picture frame. He looked at her with a smile and then looked back at the mirror.

Three years passed, and my life had not changed at all. Always contemplating the fate of my solitude, always feeling like no one cared, always feeling abandoned.

Does anyone out there feel the same way as me?

Lonely in silence.

I carried my right hand up and touched my face. Ahh if you think about it for a long time this hand has not touched my face.

If I came out like this, people would think I was crazy.

A little dress up no problem. I need to get out there and start my life.

Hyera Jenaro, happy 20th birthday.

An hour of time I need to do my hair is also my appearance. It felt like a bit of a burden started to go away when I cut my hair.

I looked in the mirror and put on a little smile. Pretty much said in my heart. Although not as beautiful as the professional hand order, but this one is quite a change in my appearance.

I exhaled a groggy breath. Look at the wall clock that shows at 12 p.m. It's time for people to rest, I thought.

My feet stepped down the stairs. I look at all the corners of the room that bear witness to my life.

Dusty, lots of cobwebs, totally unmanageable. After thinking again, if Kak Dhafin is still alive he will certainly be angry to see the state of this very dirty house.

All right, let me take a walk outside for a second. After that I will clean this house before it really becomes a den of demons.

Gathering a little courage, I pulled the house's door algae. The wind blew quite fiercely and managed to greet my face and shake my hair.

Let me enjoy a moment. Because it feels pretty refreshing.

Let's go for a walk, stop by Kak Dhafin's cafe that I've left for a year. How are you doing there? Is it still standing or has it changed owners? The cafe was taken care of by Brother Andrian and I never saw him at all.

“Hyera?”

My feet stopped when someone said my name. Feeling familiar with that voice, I turned around. Stare at the owner of the voice and breathe a sigh of relief when you know who the owner of the sound is.

“Jovin?” Call me back to her call.

The boy looked at me from top to bottom. Really, I was uncomfortable with him.

“Exit too?” My forehead winches. How did he know I rarely went out? “I guess you'll be holed up in your house forever.” Now my eyebrows are fused.

Jovin took two steps closer. In both hands, the child was holding two bags of groceries that I did not know what they contained.

“This fertilizer. Make flowers in your flower shop.” I made me frown more and more. “Sorry, take care of your shop. But calm down, I took care of it with permission from Brother Andiran.”

There seemed to be a lot of changes I didn't notice as long as I locked myself in the house.

“Wait here. I'm gonna close the store. You need some fresh air, right? Let me take a walk for a while.” After Jovin spoke, the boy rushed to run towards my flower shop.

My line of sight leads to Jovin's steps. From where I stand I can see how beautiful my flower shop is.

In the past, I only sold live flowers that had been assembled. But now, there were many live flowers planted in pots.

In addition, there are two people who are helping Jovin bring groceries. Are they employees?

The boy turned around after handing over two bags full of groceries.

His black hair danced when he took a run. A printed smile made her dimples go deeper.

“The name is Haikal and Ferdio. They're the ones who helped me out at the store. I don't know much about flowers. But thanks to them, I managed to develop your flower shop.” Pretty good first news I think.

“Kak Andrian gave you permission?”

Jovin nodded. “At first I wasn't sure I would give permission. Brother Andrian was also initially not sure if I wanted to take care. But yes want how again, there is no choice.” I nodded at Jovin's explanation. “Kak Andrian to Germany. He has research on his medicine there. I was ready to go, but you didn't come out either. Yaudah, he's gone right away. And tell Ngabarin if you already want to get out of the house.”

I hope Brother Andrian can reach his ideals.

A little hesitant and awward but it seems like my and Jovin's chat will go fine.

We both walked side by side. The heat at twelve o'clock this afternoon was hardly felt at all. The sky was clear, but the sun was not so hot. It was comfortable even though we had to walk.

“Hei,”

I looked towards Jovin.

“Can ask? But sorry to offend.”

I think I know what Jovin wants to ask. Must be about me locking myself up at home.

“Why lock yourself up at home?”

Can right. “Why want to know?”

Jovin glanced at me. “Any aja.”

My eyebrows fused to hear it.

“Sorry to offend, and sorry to repeat the old story. But you promised in the last breath of Kak Dhafin that you would be happy after his departure.” My footsteps stopped. Jovin also stopped his steps and stood in front of me.

“I repeat again. Afraid that you are hurt or offended, sorry to say this, but why do you break the same promise that you said in the last breath of Kak Dhafin? Why choose secluded and unhappy as you say?”

I'm honestly offended. But I try as much as possible to be ordinary.

“Not your business. You're not even in my position. You don't know what it's like to live and live alone. You know nothing to ask and comment about my life.” Sorry if my words hurt.

“I knew you'd say gini. First, it's just your mind. Second, you don't know what Brother Andrian rasain was after you exiled yourself. Well, I know Brother Andrian is not your brother, but dear Brother Andrian to you it's a sincerely rich brother to his younger brother. You always think alone when in fact you are not alone. Ra, don't be easily provoked by your negative thoughts. Rich things just make your heart blacken. Feeling alone on the face of the earth, even though there are still many people who embrace you around you.”

“I think you know my life.”

Jovin smiles. “Have to be ignorant to awaken the heart of the ignorant. I asked, what do you get after you hide yourself? What try?”

Honestly, I don't know.

“What are you looking for until you close all access from Kak Andrian for how are you doing?”

I'm rattled.

“Do you know how anxious Kak Andrian pas that afternoon he was not able to enter your house and do not know how you are? Ye know? Brother Andrian for days until not sleeping because think of you.”

“You wronged me?” His words were enough to make me feel cornered and useless living in this world. Only there to trouble those around.

Jovin. Take a step forward and hold my body warm.

“Silent and do not move.”

I was the one who wanted to hit the chest of Jovin's field so I paused when I heard his letter. The boy hugged me under a tree, by the roadside, by the lake.

Feels, weird. But it's quite calming.

“Stop thinking you're the worst. Being locked out of life doesn't help you at all. You said it yourself, we don't know when we're gonna live. Whether I go tomorrow, or you go to God, none of us know. Humans are a problem. If there is no problem, the name is not human. Animals have problems. Rather than continue to reflect on the problems of life, why not try to find something beautiful?”

I was silent to Jovin's words. I quietly closed my eyes, and returned Jovin's embrace. Not to be hypocritical, his embrace was quite soothing.

“There are many wonderful things you missed. Everyone has lost. Everyone has wounds. The way they heal their wounds is different. But locking yourself up is not a good thing to choose. Rapunzel is in brackets with her foster mother feels bosen. But how did you turn into a Rapunzel? I know it's your choice, but you should know that it's the wrong choice.”

The eyes that I had closed opened slowly. “Then, what is the correct choice?”

Jovin loosened his embrace. “What is definitely not by locking in the house alone. Kak Dhafin would be sad if he knew his brother even desperate rich gini. You want, one of the things that Kak Dhafin is afraid of when he dies?”

With doubt, I nodded my head.

I know Kak Dhafin's biggest concern is that he's leaving me. Hyera who is it? Will there be good people who won Hyera?

“Come stop so like this. Keep your promise to Dhafin. There is nothing alone without a biological family, there is still me with Brother Andrian who will nemenin you.”

It was quite a calming remark on the first day I left the house. Thanks, Jovin. I will try.