Send My Letter to Heaven's

Bereft

“I saw you with a boy yesterday.”

My eyebrows blend. We – me and Kenzie – are in the hospital. As usual, we visited children with cancer.

“I'm no stranger to that man's face. Have I met him?” My eyebrows are getting fused. Still confused by Kenzie's question.

The boy laughed softly, “I just found out that you have other boy friends besides me.” Stalled steps. One of my hands scratched the nape that was not itchy. Still thinking, I have not found who ‘laki’ is Kenzie.

Rough breath sounds. Kenzie took two steps back toward me who was still silently thinking.

“Males who at that time gave an umbrella ride.” My memory is as if it were taken backwards. I immediately remembered who the man she meant.

“Ahh his name is Jovin. Jovin Kaindra.” I said after a long thought and smiled at Kenzie.

“We accidentally met the truth. And, that accidental meeting continued continuously.” Kenzie looked at me weirdly. “The first time I met him, it was heavy rain. He's screwed over for losing the audition. He cried in the rain until he almost got hit by a truck. Totally bonkers. Then, we shady at the same stop, he does not want to go home initially, continue.”.

“Can stop no?” I'm speechless. Clenched my lips together and looked at Kenzie timidly. “Don't tell me another man in front of me.” His right hand grabbed my left hand. “Except Dhafin Sister and Andrian's Sister.” Then, his hand dragged me to the place where the children had gathered with Brother Andrian around them.

There was an unfair feeling when the boy prevented me from telling him about Jovin in front of him. Ever since we knew him, I never told him about anyone. Because I have no friends except him.

But hearing Kenzie say ‘to not tell me about the other person in front of him,’ it feels like I want to be angry. She always told me about her boyfriend in front of me. She always told me anything about her boyfriend. As for me, can't you tell me about the other person in front of him?

Still don't know what exactly Kenzie wants.

Like talking about other people, but I'm forbidden from telling my friends.

Is he jealous?

The answer is impossible.

I'm the only one who likes Kenzie, not the other way around. I like him and he doesn't. I love him more than a friend, but he only thinks of me as a friend. No more and no less.

I hate it when I can only hold back my anger without being able to vent it. I hate it when I can only protest in silence and not be able to speak directly. I hate it, because fate never took a fair side with me.

“Where are you from?” I smiled at Brother Andrian. Trying to divert my attention from the crazy feelings that are stirring up in the heart. I want to be happy, just like most people. Happy I created it, not Kenzie or anyone else.

“Sorry brother, the store was still crowded.” Brother Andrian nodded in understanding.

“Lain times, if the store can not be left do not be forced yes.” I smiled and nodded.

“I go there first.” My feet stepped closer to the children who gathered in a circle in the middle of the playground created by the hospital. Releasing the Kenzie hand link that had not spoken.

My thoughts were trying to throw off Kenzie, who was haunting me even more because of his strange attitude. Let's draw a conclusion that Kenzie is uncomfortable. That'sallthatis.

“Kak Hyera!!” The screams of the children greeted my arrival. My hands were wide open welcoming them to come to my arms.

My lips landed on the heads of those who had worn out did not have hair carefully. They peed one at a time and counted their numbers because I thought there was less.

“One, two, three...” My hands are moving and they are silent on the spot, sitting sweetly looking at me. Anxious taste.

“Bam..”.

“Ra...” My words were swallowed by Kak Andrian's call. turning slowly, I looked at Brother Andrian who was standing next to Kenzie.

Kenzie's hand pulled my right wrist. Made me take a few steps back and stand in line with them.

“Adek-adek play with sister first yes. The brothers will go for a while. Tomorrow play again.” The sound of one of the sisters made me turn my head quickly towards her. My eyes were staring at the protesting children for not playing.

“Cute for a minute yuk. We'll meet Mamie.” Kenzie's whisper made my heart beat twice as fast. I didn't nod or shake. My vision began to blur as Kenzie led me out of the children's area.

Kenzie and I walked down a hallway that was getting quieter and quieter. There is no Brother Andrian. The grown man didn't come with us. He said there was something he wanted to do in his dad's room.

My legs felt heavy as my netra found a row of multifaceted flowers leaning neatly on the side of the room. My eyes grew increasingly blurred as tears piled up as I read the names printed on the adjoining flower boards.

“According to my sorrow” Sentences that I can only say from the heart without being able to read the continuation.

The reflex squeezed out Kenzie's grasp, my legs getting weaker as two old men came and greeted us.

“Bamie waiting for you.” It was her words that made me collapse on the cold floor.

Kenzie took me slow. Help me get back on my feet and get to Hamie's bed together.

I looked at the little boy from above. Observing him as if the child was just a normal sleep. Handsomest. One word came out of my heart. The black suit wrapped beautifully on his body. A black butterfly tie also sits around her neck. His face was pale, and both of his palms were wearing white gloves. His feet were clad in black shoes which added a handsome impression to him. Don't forget the flowers he held in both of his tiny hands. Last suit for our beloved Namie.

“The situation is starting to improve.” Mamie's mother's voice made me step back and look at her. “Bamie we are gradually improving and cheerful as before.” Her speech stammered. “I did not know that it turned out that the good we saw actually had a bad impact on him.” Her husband's hand stroked the housewife's arm, which still looked very fresh. “Our only child, must go as soon as this.” After that, the suction again sounded from the blade of the mother-daughter one.

I'm approaching towards him. Stretch out both of her hands and hug her a little tightly.

This isn't the first death I've seen from children with cancer. Namie became the order of the umpteenth child who died because he was unable to fight the violence of cancer that lodged in his body.

My hands gently stroke Mamie's back. Repeatedly saying the word patience even though I knew, it had no effect at all.

“Mistress,” my word still hugs her. “I know all humans will go. No human being will stay long on this mortal earth. There was a moment when they would end their story on earth. All men come and will surely go. Namie no longer feels pain, ma'am. He will be free to play in heaven with other children who have already left. Namie won't be lonely, Mistress.”

Our hugs loosen. Mamie's mother looked at me with her eyes puffy from mostly crying. “Can I give up Mamie?” My head shook slowly.

“Think of what happened, madam. Namie would be sad if she knew her parents were sad.” After that, Mamie's mother hugged me again and sobbed.

I held it tight. Tears came down and fell on my cheeks.

My memory floated back. One question came to my mind that scared me to death. ‘What if I'm in Mamie's current position?’

The humans came and then left. Two destinies that cannot be changed because all have been written neatly in the beautiful record of one's life. Nothing can prevent, nor can anything change. His death someone no one knows. The fall of someone no one knows. Healthy people no one knows.

It's good to still enjoy the remaining seconds at this time. Because later, tomorrow, or the day after, even this second after we breathe, no one knows what will happen.

Happiness is also sadness after being abandoned, no one can predict. All will be happy, all will be beautiful, just in time each.