sacrificial taste

Blame me

*morning at school*

"i've broken up with zafran"

"uhuh?" junis

"you must have asked to break up!" Lana

"yeah"

"uhhh vaniaa, why the hell are you" Lana

"i think it's the best, I don't want to continue to be overshadowed by my guilt for nadin"

"but how zafran?does he agree?"junis

"zafran did not want to but I insisted and did not want to hear rejection from him"

"ih vania evil, pity zafran" yuni

"you decided on zafran for what reason?"

"i told her that I never loved her, I accepted it out of pity"

"vaniaavaniaa, actually what's on your mind! you always hurt yourself, hurt a zafran who has nothing wrong" Lana was angry

"it's not an easy thing for me either! this is so heavy, you will not understand what I am feeling right now! you should support me instead of blaming me like this, I feel alone! you think when asking to break up with the zafran it doesn't hurt for me? I've always wanted to be with her more than you want to see me stay with her"

"then why don't you do that? you want to be with Zafran, right? then why did you decide on him? nadin's? that's your problem? then by breaking up with zafran what do you get? will nadin be happy?"

"already lana! it's been Vania's decision, we should have supported her"

"sorry" Lana hugged me when she saw me crying "I'm so happy to see you and the zafran together, I'm just disappointed with your decision! the strong van" Yuni hugged me

"i love zafran lana, I love zafran yuni" I cried in the arms of my two best friends while she just patted me on the shoulder

while I was still crying, lana and Yuni tried to strengthen me and zafran passed in front of my class

"vania zafran!" Lana whispered

I immediately wiped my tears when I saw that the zafran was indeed passing in front of my class but the zafran did not even turn to my class making me feel more hurt and my crying became more so

"zafran seems to hate me already huhu"

"no Vania, that zafran loves you so much he can't possibly hate you" yuni

"but you see that, right? he doesn't even want to see me anymore"

"are you why Vania, this is what you want? what do you think zafran should be? once you decide it unilaterally! every decision you make has consequences" Lana

***

the following days just passed by, I never saw a zafran at school! my days were so boring that even Yuni said she had never seen me smile like I used to. I felt like I had no taste for smiling, I miss the sound of the zafran when it forces me to smile at him, I miss being held with him, I miss being boned with him, I miss hearing him sing to me, I miss the mother of zafran, I miss the mother of zafran, I miss zafran.

has Zafran really forgotten me?

is he now able to do it without me?

where is zafran now? what the hell is he doing? who is she with?

is he close to another girl?

did any girl manage to snatch his heart?

did zafran miss me too?

is Zafran still thinking of me?

I went through the days with all those questions in my heart.