sacrificial taste

Can't anymore

"vania? you're good, right?"

"don't be so sad, Dad"

"keep your diet, get enough rest, you also recover if until you get sick then I'll be mad at you"

"say me if you need anything yah"

"i love you"

message from zafran

my feelings and thoughts at that time were only filled with the shadow of Nadin, I was spared with extreme guilt to him.

"i want to talk, I'll wait for you in the park near my house"

"no need to pick me up"

my message was sent to zafran

***

just now I arrived, zafran has also come.

"Sorry, has it been waiting for me?" zafran rush

"no, I just got here" too"

zafran sat next to me, stroking my hair, at that time I did not refuse her swipe I felt very comfortable to be beside her but when she wanted to hold my hand I was immediately shocked and realized with the intention and purpose I asked her to meet until I refused and keep my sitting distance with him

"you why? what without me knowing I did something that hurt you?"

"we broke up well zafran" for whatever I'm so hard to say

zafran approached but reflexively I stood up

"vania, what are you talking about? whatever I'm sorry about you, not vaniaa"

zafran persuaded me to sit down

"why vania? what's up?"

"disconnect zafran! I want us to break up!" I control myself so as not to cry in front of him

"but why? what's wrong, vaniaa?"

"you're not wrong, I'm wrong!"

"the Vania story, what exactly happened? what's wrong with you?"

zafran hugged me "don't be like this vania, I beg you! don't go, I don't want us to break up"

"i can no longer zafran, I want to break up" took off the embrace of zafran

"i won't be able to let go of you, I'll never agree! explain what's up! why are you suddenly like this, why do you suddenly want to break up Vania?"

"i never loved you!" the biggest lie from me

"li lie! you lied to Vania, I can feel it! all this time I knew you loved me, this was just your excuse right? explain what is Vania exactly?"

"that's a zafran fact! all this time I was pretending to love you! I just feel sorry for you who keep begging for love and chasing me, that's the truth! I can no longer pretend, I'm sorry" I don't know what happened to me so I can tell such a big lie

"this isn't you Vania, you're not the Vania I've known all along! I know you're lying? I don't want to break up from you vania, please don't do this to me" zafran got off the chair and bowed to my knees, I know at that moment he was crying! I felt her tears wash over my knees "i've gone too deep to drop my heart on you"

I couldn't bear to see such a zafran but I had to continue, I had to stick to my decision to break from it even though my mind was very tormented at that time

"don't crybaby! you're a boy, there are a lot of girls out there who are much prettier and more in any way than I want to be with you" I stood up and made the zafran have to wake up from my knees

"we'll rest for a while, well, I'll give you a chance to be alone! I'll also introspect myself, but we don't break up Vaniaa"

"my decision is already zafran round! I can't anymore, we just got here! I'm sorry" I was planning to leave the zafran but she held me back

"i drive you home well" her voice sounded trembling with tears

"i can go home by myself!"

zafran affirmed his words "I'll drive you home!" zafran rushed to get his bike

on our way it felt so awkward, so silent.I saw it, tried to hold back my tears, I wanted to hug it but I couldn't do it! I focused on looking at it from behind, feeling like this was the last time I had a conversation with her. That statement made me come back unable to stem my tears, I cried! so it was without sound

a cry that felt so tight on the chest, I want to continue with you zafran! I love you, I feel like I really want to tell her that!

***

we've reached the front of the house, I don't feel like I want to be away from him! it felt heavy to get off the bike but again I have to do it.

zafran got off the bike, tried to hold my hand and coaxed me but I made him not do that

"thank you zafran, sorry for playing with your feelings" I wanted to go in but the zafran pulled me in and hugged me

when I want to let go of his embrace he hugs me even tighter "wait for Vania, don't let go! I beg you"

"remove zafran! stop all this, not just because women can make you like this, you have to move on with your life! this is what's best for you"

"goodness to me?no!! this is good for you! but not for me!" zafran go

*connect*