sacrificial taste

funerals

Guilt seemed to suddenly surround me when I saw the lifeless body of Nadin, the ceiling of the room filled with the sound of crying as if an arrow was raining down on my heart.

the nurse who was with Nadin was also there, looking at me as if I were a big villain and this lifeless body seemed to be caused by me in addition to the presence of a zafran on my side that continued to strengthen me, although the nurse had never met a zafran but I'm sure she would have known it was a zafran.

my body reflexively rejects anything zafran does in order to strengthen me, there is the peak of dilemmas that I have always felt since choosing and dissolving with the complicated story

me and my other friends approached the nadin family to offer our condolences while my zafran let wait outside, his family told me the chronology of the nadin death moments that made me feel even more guilty and devastated

"we're in mourning, ma'am" at the opening of the conversation

"we were very surprised when we knew the condition of nadin, let alone nadin never told us anything about this.he suddenly disappeared"juni

"forgive nadin if he ever made a mistake on you yah" nadin's mother

"what really happened to Nadin

ma?"Lana

"actually Nadin has been suffering from leukemia since a year ago but we and our family including nadin also only learned about the disease one month ago and even then when it had entered the last stage, he said, we've been trying to do as much medicine as we can, mom has been trying to take nadin to a doctor in Singapore but the creator has other wills" her mother nadin looks very devastated, the pain that becomes without tears is only the sharpest eyes of fate that have spawned defeat for the death of the beloved princess let alone nadin is her only daughter

"strong mother yah bu, with the departure of nadin then nadin will not feel pain anymore" dika trying to dilute the situation

after a long time of enduring his pain

"son of Vania, do you know zafran?" the question asked by aunt Nadin made us flinch

dika, yuni, lana immediately looked at me "yes ma'am I know her, she's an apprentice place with us" I tried hard to answer her even though my voice might sound trembling

"is she nadin's girlfriend?" connect aunt nadin

I bowed down, feeling unable to answer.I clasped the hands of Yuni and Lana

"not bi, what's wrong? why does aunt know Zafran?" Lana.

"nadin, since yesterday he kept asking if zafran came whether zafran came, even earlier before he left he had mentioned the name nak vania and zafran"

"is that so unfortunately nadin on the zafran? even at the end of his life he continued to call the zafran and expect the zafran to come on nadin knowing that the zafran is his girlfriend vania" Yuni spoke to Lana innocently in front of the parents and family nadin

"yuni, control your speech!" dikas

"so zafran's your girlfriend Vania?" aunt nadin looked at me

*i'm silent, it's time for Nadin's funeral

I came out of the funeral home to find the zafran still sitting there*

"i'm in the car with the others" I said that to the zafran with a facial expression that didn't want to hear the word rejection

"yes, I'll follow you from behind"

*I saw a zafran following the car I was riding in with a face that looked very sad maybe because of my attitude towards him, I was downcast because I could not hold back my tears*

"don't torture yourself like that van, take pity on you! pity the zafran too" yuni

"does zafran know?" dikas

"what?"

"did zafran know that Nadin had met you at the hospital?" dikas

"no"

*nadin's funeral went well, I saw the figure of a mother who was very tough on nadin's mother.on completion everyone slowly returned and left the funeral*

zafran approached me and wanted to hold my hand but before I could touch my hand, I refused and held onto Yuni's hand

"i came home with the car again with the others" without hearing zafran's answer I had left him

zafran looked at me who was walking away from him.

zafran approached the grave of Nadin, placed a flower on his tombstone and I could see the zafran was speaking before the tombstone of nadin I don't know what he said, in my heart I feel like being with zafran there but my logic makes me continue my steps towards the car.

when I wanted to go up, Zafran could see me but I pretended to turn my eyes away.

*connect*