Look at Me, My Husband
S2 Mother of my son 52
“I'll be back in America, Nai.” Dennis put his car keys on the table of a restaurant, not far from Naina's office. The two made an appointment at lunchtime, after a few days of not exchanging news.
“When, Mas?” ask Naina. His fingers were carving in a dewy glass of juice. He chose to duck, not wanting to see too often at his interlocutor.
“Secapnya. Angie was screaming every day. I can't leave it too long.” Dennis explained the reason. “I have to take care of Stevi first. And ... my car entered the workshop,” he said doubtfully.
Naina's view turned to Dennis's new car. No more historical black Pajero Sport that bears witness to his struggle during the escape.
“What happened, Mas?” Naina's words sounded slow and floating.
“Front part is broken. Small accident.” Dennis smiles. He was sure that if Naina knew the real reason, she would not get any praise. Instead, it will be rumored, even get sanctions not spoken to for days. Don't try to be a hero when Naina feels she doesn't need him. This stubborn woman before him would not say thank you. Conversely, if you are not lucky you will get a maki caci.
“Mas okay?” naina asked, taking her eyes off the pitch-black Land Cruiser parked in the courtyard of the restaurant. There was a glint of worry in Naina's sad eyes. An imperceptible worry, he tried to hide. He didn't want his little attention to make Dennis wish for more. He had already steadied his heart to not give hope to the man who had secretly stolen his attention all this time.
“I'm always fine. Hasn't it been so, too, Nai.” Dennis answered with confidence.
Silently, Naina grabbed a glass of juice and took a sip of it until there was a third of the glass left. “Mas, what message do you want?” naina asked filling the silence with a new topic.
“I'm still full. You're done yet? Not want to add menu?” dennis asked to look at the empty plate next to Naina's juice glass. There are still remnants of rice and side dishes on the edge of the plate.
“No, Mas.”
“How's Vienna? That kid's still looking for me?” ask Dennis.
Naina shakes.
“Vienna's slow start forgetting me. One day ... You will forget me,” said Dennis with a vibrating voice. The man tried to hold back his sad feelings. He could not imagine, one day Naina threw him out blatantly. Parting in a good way is more painful than parting when troubled.
“Then ... what do you plan to do in the future? Already have a heart?” ask Dennis . Slowly but surely scraped a lot about the contents of the woman's heart in front of him. It's not easy for him. Supporting a loved woman and thrusting her on another man.
Naina nodded back.
“I will soon move from where Mas Wira” Seutas thin smile on Naina's lips.
“I will refocus on my work while raising money to open a boutique again. I can't work forever in that office right now. I want to spend more time with Vienna. And opening your own business is one way to be able to achieve both simultaneously. I can have more time with Vienna, and can work.”
“How much need? I'll lend it to you,” bargain Dennis. “No flowers, you can taste them at will.” Dennis continued.
Naina shakes. “My debt is too much for you, Mom. I don't know ... how to pay it later.”
“Pay with your smile,” said Dennis half-jokingly.
“Come, get paid now!” the man continued to laugh. Unforgivable, Dennis stood up and touched two corners of Naina's lips with both index fingers. Forcing Naina to smile.
“Already. Consider it keel! No need to think about your debts to me. I can charge it to Viennese Dad, if I want.” Dennis laughed again.
Naina sharpened her gaze. “Do not do that!” threaten Naina.
“No, I was just kidding. Em ...” Looks like Dennis is hesitant.
“About?” Naina stared, asking for an explanation.
“Back to Wira.”
“I don't know yet, Mas. All this time .. I was considering it. There's a lot of things I need to think about. Our situation is not like the beginning of dating. Everything has changed considerably.” Naina answered slowly.
There was a heavy sigh, like there was a burden on the young mother.
“He is still as he used to be. His love is still the same. The eyes of the hero cannot lie. He still wants you, Nai.”
“Entahlah. We divorced after five years of marriage. It's not like breaking up when you're dating. It's not that easy, Mom. Moreover, our divorce ...” Pause for a moment, Naina looked at Dennis with teary eyes. Reminded of the past. There was pain hitting him at the same time. Sick from the wounds of divorce, sick because Dennis was behind it all, sick because he himself failed in maintaining his household.
“Wira is innocent in this. I'm the one to blame.” Dennis bowed, admitting his mistake.
“I know, Mas. I don't want to remember who's wrong, who's right. Maybe the one who deserves the most blame. And because of you ... Mas Wira allowed a deep enough wound in my heart. But ... I can't blame you two either. Because I was wrong and involved. Stevi too. However, among all things, I am the one who perfected all these mistakes. If I had enough trust and a great love for Mas Wira, maybe I wouldn't have demanded a divorce. If I'm not selfish, none of this happens.” Naina said softly, her hands squeezing each other under the table.
“Didn't you still have a chance to fix it?”
“Maybe, but I don't want to take any rash decisions. I want to convince you of my feelings first. Three years has made me change a lot, so has Mas Wira.”
“Whatever it is .. I can only stand beside you and support you, Nai.” Dennis smiled bitterly. He tried to hold back his own feelings. Not at this moment, even since the seed had grown in his heart, he struggled not to get too dissolved in the pool of love.
“I saw Mas Wira with his girlfriend. I started to dive into the life of Mas Wira now.” Naina started telling stories and Dennis just listened as usual.
“What do you feel?” ask Dennis curious.
Naina shakes. “There must be a sense of being left behind, we have been together for five years and parted well. Seeing an ex with another woman, lying if there is no taste. It's just .. I guess it might not be love anymore. I want Mas Wira to be happy, with whoever it is.”
“And as Mama said, Mas Wira does deserve a woman who is equal to him. Since the beginning of marriage, I actually never deserved to enter the life of Mas Wira.”
“Only ... love does not look at all that, Nai.” Dennis. He looks at Naina very closely. Searching for something in the clear netra and changing Naina's facial line every time she put out words.
“I know. Maybe I've changed a lot. I no longer have the courage to enter into the life of Mas Wira. Or I've changed. My love ...”
“Who is he?” cut Dennis, stiffen. He seemed to hold his sitting position.
“Pieter?” ask Dennis, go find Naina.
Naina pursed her lips. He gasped when he found out Dennis could read his heart, although not entirely true.
“I'll kill Pieter if you choose it instead of back at Wira!” threatening Dennis.
***
Tbc
