Instantaneous Sweetness

Expelled?

It's been almost two months of my gestational age. What I never thought I would get pregnant out of wedlock and never wanted, sometimes I hated this fetus in my womb. But I sometimes remember the advice of my best friend, he was Ayu. Who was always there for me, even with my circumstances like this, she never hated me. I, who was washed away in my daydream, entered my room in a hurry.

‘’E—eh, Mom. What's up, Ma?’’ tanyaku. Mama doesn't seem like she's hiding anything, I don't know.

‘’Mama want to give you herbs to surf h*id,’’

Degh's! Whahuh? Herbal for surfing h*id? If I drink, I'll miscarry.

How'this? Or does? Mama really suspected me all along. My chest feels so tight. I try to slow my breath. Mama still stood holding a glass of herbs.

‘’Monk!!’’ mom's voice really went up.

‘’A—anu. Ma’af, Ma,’’ My throat feels choked.

‘’You're afraid to drink this herbal medicine? It turns out that it was my suspicion all along!’’

THE PLAAKKK!!

One slap landed on my right cheek. I was shocked and grimaced in pain. Does your mom know everything? Where did mama know?

‘’Ma—Mama—’’ lirihku with a circle of tears moistening the cheeks, while holding the cheeks that feel sore.

‘’What does that message mean? Huh huh? Javaab!’’ mama's emotions were completely uncontrollable, so her hands spontaneously slapped my cheeks, her eyes reddened, a clear circle began to wet her cheeks and shake my body.

‘’Pe—what message does Mama mean?’’ I pretend I don't understand.

‘’Message on your hanphone!’’ shouting mama. Gets my phone rough. Whahuh? My mom has read all my messages. Arghh! Why didn't I remove it?

‘’This! Right if I suspect you!’’ Mom showed all the messages harshly. Right, mama knows everything. I couldn't speak, just silent with tears that kept on growing. Only tears speak.

‘’MONIIIIK! ANSWER THAT! ARE YOU PREGNANT NOW?’’ this time, my mom couldn't control her emotions. Until his hand almost floated back to my cheek.

Papa rushed over,’’ Ya Allah! What's the matter? Istighfar, Ma!’’ lirih papa who holds the hand of mama.

‘’Istighfar said, Pa? This is your son you should have asked istighfar and repented!’’ my mother pointed at me with her left.

‘’What do you mean, Mama?’’ papa was getting confused and his forehead frowned.

‘’This child of yours is ha—pregnant!’’ ketus mama with a circle of tears flooded her cheeks, while papa looked startled and scrambled hair.

‘’APAA? YOU DON'T JOKE, MA!’’ snapped papa.

‘’Papa ask yourself with your favorite child!’’ Mama nodded her forehead which felt dizzy.

‘’What's true, Monik? Answer!’’ snapped papa.

I just nodded slowly with an unrelenting stream of tears.

THE PLAAKKK!! This time I got another slap from the man I first loved, the man who had loved me so much

‘’GO! YOU GET OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN, I DON'T KNOW YOU. I EDUCATED YOU AS BEST I COULD! BUTWHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!’’ papa's emotions are right. The words that never came out of his mouth are now coming out for me. The man who has been treating me with tenderness and affection. Now no longer does that affection appear in his net. Just the hate and disappointment.

‘’YOU CAN'T STAY HERE! GOII!’’ Papa dragged me out of the house violently, without bringing any clothes except those that perched on my body. Mom was screaming and crying hysterically inside the house.

‘’Pa!’’call me with tears. And get closer to him.

‘’DON'T YOU CALL ME PAPA! GO FROM HERE!’’ Papa locked the gate and pushed my body to the ground.

‘’Arrgghhhh!!’’ I groaned in pain and held my stomach.

‘’Paaa! Maaa!’’ I screamed while I was in tears.

Allah! Why is all this happening? Is this a punishment for me? Yes, it deserves me. I easily gave my life to a man who was not lawful to me, I easily tasted sweetness that was momentary, and I opened not in time. My mind was so calm, my head was dizzy, my stomach hurt too, and my sight was blurred.

A few minutes later, the smell of eucalyptus oil stung me. I opened my eyes slowly. Samar I see a face that doesn't sing to me. Ayy?

‘’Alhamdulillah! You are aware, Monik,’’ lyirih Ayu who sits on the edge of the bed.

‘’A—aku where?’’ I ask while holding the head that still feels dizzy.

‘’You are at my house, Monik,’’ Instantly I am shocked and rushed to sit down, even with my head still feeling dizzy.

‘’Do not sit down first, Monik. You must rest!’’ Ayu again helped to break my body.

‘’Ta—but, I don't want to be later because I you got angry with your parents,’’ I flowed with a circle of tears.

‘’Husshh! Don't talk like that. Everyone let me handle it. You rest first!’’ He put his index finger on his lips.

‘’Still a lot, Yu. You still want to help me, this very sinful person.’’ A round of tears wet my cheeks.

‘’Iya, Yu. Help me, will you? To learn to be better and diligent in worship, I hope God will forgive all the mistakes I have made,’’

‘’In shaa Allah. Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Monic. Provided we are really penitent and do not repeat our mistakes again,’’

‘’You rest! I want to help Mother prepare lunch,’’ She rushed to move.

‘’Yu, wait!’’as soon as I pulled his hand, he looked over.

‘’You who brought and found me?’’ manya look at him.

He nodded slowly,’’I intend to go to your house. And when I got to the gate, I saw you faint and I was sure something was going on with you. That's why I brought it here,’’ he explained with a special smile of his.

‘’Ta—but how about Mother and Father, he must be—’’ I'm not finished talking he cut my talk.

‘’Huusshh! You don't have to worry. What matters now is the same focus on your health as the fetus in your womb,’’ lirih Ayu that is almost inaudible to me. Maybe he was afraid that his parents would hear our conversation.

‘’I stay first yes. If you want water or whatever it is, I'll be here again,’’ He hastened to step out of his room.

I held my head that was still dizzy, imagined by me all the events earlier. I want to end my life soon. I slowly stood up and pulled my weight against the wall. And looking for something. Yeah, there he is. With my chest tight, my tears kept falling. And in a moment,

‘’Astaghfirullah ‘al adziim! Istighfar, Monik! What the hell are you doing? This will not end your troubles!’’ he forced the thing. My body immediately slid to the floor.

‘’I capeek, Yuu! I'm tired!’’ I shouted with tears.

‘’Build! If you believe this, Mother and Father will know the events you experienced. Don't let that happen,’’ Ayu told me to get up and help me to stand up. And hugged me tightly. I shed all my race.

Ayu stroked my back, "Udah, your crying sounds the same Dad and Mommy," I sighed softly and took off a slow hug.

He drove me back to his bed, ‘’I told you, that suicide won't solve the problem! In the world, your business is done. But in the afterlife? No, Monik. You will die in a perverted state. You'll be miserable there! Not to mention you who have not repented. Do you want to, huh? Try you contemplate,’’ explained Ayu with a sad look.

I was pensive for a moment with a blank look. What Ayu said, there was a point as well. Why is my mind so short? Allah! Should I mention your name?

‘’Short!’’ monik Decree. He grabbed the face and the prayer table gave it to me, I shook my head slowly.

‘’Take it! You need this! I'm sure your heart will be calm,’’ I still haven't grabbed the face and prayer mat from Ayu's hands.

‘’A—do I deserve to wear this?’’ my words stammered while looking at the one being held by Ayu.

‘’Monik, I've said Allah is Forgiving. We are the ones who don't know. It is not a matter of merit or not, so the problem will we repent to Him with penance nasuha or even let our sins accumulate just like that,’’ explained Ayu with sparkling eyes.

‘’Ma—mean from nasuha's penitent what?’’ my question is plain, so minimal my religious knowledge.

He smiled,’’Tobat nasuha is a sincere repentance because of Allah. And promised not to repeat it again,’’ explained Ayu back. I'm mangosteen.

‘’Ya already! You pray first! Let your heart be calmer and ask forgiveness to Him!’’ he brought back the face and prayer. Without thinking, I took it straight away. Ayu smiled too.

Slowly I stepped up to wudhu’ to the back. A few minutes later, I spread out the prayer mat, then put on my face.

‘’I'm lucky to have a friend. A friend who always invites me to improve. Maybe this is called the friend of the world and the hereafter,’’ my lips while fixing the string and pairing it.

And I started praying too.

A few minutes later.

‘’Assalamua’laikum warahmatullah,’’

I looked up and raised both my hands,’’ O Allah, O my Lord. Forgive my sins. Forgive all my faults and mistakes, please help me to improve, please help me to draw closer to You. I know I am a filthy creature, who has many sins. Please forgive all my mistakes. Aamiin Yes Robbal ‘aalamiin,’’ With a tearful circle, I pay homage to the Creator.

I went back to making peace and prayer. Ayu also came to me.

‘’How? How do you feel when you finish praying?’’ tanya Ayu nodded on her bed.

I smiled,’’You're right, Yu. My heart is very calm now. Not kayak earlier,’’ lirihku while looking at Ayu.

‘’Given God that heart will be serene, Monik. All our load feels lighter than before,‘’ said Ayu slowly. I too am a mangosteen. Yes, my heart really feels calm and serene now.

SERIATE. ***

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Oh yes, if anyone comes and looks forward to the continuation of the story I will try to update 2 chapters every day, but with the condition of having to comment and read every time I update yes.

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‘’Those who believe and their hearts are at peace with the remembrance of Allah. Remember, it is only by remembering Allah that the heart becomes serene.’’ (Q.S Ar-Ra’adu verse 28)