Instantaneous Sweetness

Contrition

After calling with Ayu I fell asleep because I was so tired of this body and my mind let alone finished crying for so long. Samar I heard like someone took my name from out there. I slowly opened my eyes that were reluctant to open because I still felt tired and sleepy.

‘’Monik, you are still sleeping, Nak?’’ My mom's voice calls me out there.

I squirm and rush to sit and collect my life first.

"Yes, Ma. I just woke up, ma’af well, Ma,’’ sahutku with a distinctive sound wake up.

‘’Nnothing, Mama just wanted to say your Papa has come home from work nih,’’ said mama back.

‘’What? I'm home to Papa, Ma?’’ I was shocked, because papa usually came home from the office around the afternoon, so busy he. While I slept this afternoon at around 13:00, it means it is already afternoon? Oh God! I have been resting so long. I hurried to look at the thing that was coiling on the wall.

‘’What? 17.00 Hours? Oh my God, did I see the wrong time ya?’’

I rubbed my eyes repeatedly and kept looking at the clock, but didn't even exchange the hands. Then I don't see it wrong. Surely it was late afternoon, so long I fell asleep. I am so tired of my body and mind.

‘’Iya, Son. You are very good sleep, so Mama pity and do not want to wake you up,’’ replied mama later.

It struck me with my mother's response that wouldn't wake me up. I got up and stepped into the bathroom in the bedroom to perform the ritual first. A few minutes later, I finished my ritual and put on my clothes. I stuck myself in the mirror.

‘’Yes Allah, my body is a bit fat since the end of this childbirth. Though I have many thoughts every day,’’ murmured me while looking into the mirror.

‘’Monik, you must be strong and patient through this all yes. Moreover, you now have a baby that you must take care of and must educate yourself, even though you are not a good person but you must educate your child well. Don't let her Papa's behavior go down to your son. You can definitely, passion!’’ my mumbling encouraged the unbroken self to peek into the mirror.

Then I put on a veil. Yeah, even though I had a dark past. But I will try to be a better person than I was.

‘’Monik, eat first yuk, son. You must be laper,’’ call mama back from out there.

‘’Iya, Mom. A minute,’’.

And hurried to step outside. I headed to the family room, looking like papa was busy looking at the television that was being aired.

‘’Pa!’’ call slowly. I couldn't bear the tightness in my chest. Papa turned his head, I stepped towards the place where papa was sitting on the sofa.

Papa looks at me softly. Did mom tell papa everything? Do you already know everything about the problems that befall my household? Slowly I nodded next to papa, papa twisted his body to face me.

‘’Nak, ma’ Papa huh?’’ O Allah, why did papa ask ma’af? I was amazed and looked at Papa.

‘’Why Papa asks ma’af, Papa never wrong with me. Instead—’’ lirihku slowly. My words stopped when my father gave a code to keep me quiet.

‘’Nak, Papa is not too careful you until you finally do this. What is wrong is Papa and Mama, we are more concerned with work than our own children. Papa didn't manage to educate you. Papa asks ma’af everything is one of Papa and Mama as your parents,’’ said papa heard his voice vibrate.

Never papa talk like this look on the face with me, this time. I was more moved to hear the words papa did not feel the circle of tears back dripping.

‘’Pa, Papa can't say that. Papa and Mama always want me to always take care of myself, pray do not forget and do not date. It's always Papa and Mama ingetin although busy with work every day, but what? But I'm the stubborn one, Pa. I do not want to hear any advice Papa and Mama, I do not want to accept the truth. Yeah, it's all my fault. Papa and Mama have been trying to carry out their duties as my parents,’’, I said in a voice that shook violently. My tears don't stop dripping.

‘’Stay Papa and Mama who did not manage to educate you. The proof is now that you think it will be. Rice is porridge, you're not too late to repent, son. Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Your Father and Mama will help you to change for the better. And we will take care and educate your baby,’’ said papa then who sighed softly and wiped a circle of tears that had just dripped on his cheeks.

‘’Pa, thank you very much yes. I don't know what to talk about. Anyway I'm very lucky to have Papa and Mama, ma’afkan me who can not make Papa and Mama happy yes,’’ lirihku while staring at papa. My tears don't stop dripping. I slowly sank, but he kept falling back.

Papa hurriedly stroked the top of my head wrapped in a veil,’’Sama-sama, Son. Papa asks ma’af can not be a good father for you, but Papa promises to guide you, Papa will try his best to guide you to a better one,’’ sahut papa lirih.

I nodded and rushed into Papa's arms. My cry this time was broken. Yes, at a time like this only my parents can accept my presence again, he can accept me well again even though he once hated me because of my actions that have exceeded the limit.

Yes, however, both parents can accept their children back home when their children are down or when others do not care. Papa used to hate even my actions, but over time he was willing to MEMA’af all my mistakes and actions in the past.

No matter how hateful and angry both parents are, one day they will receive their child back into their lap. Their anger is a sign of loving their children, a sign of caring for their children and no parents who are angry for no reason, angry because of the behavior of their children who are not good. Yeah, like I had a dark past.

It was appropriate that my father and mother hated me first, but Alhamdulillah now he can accept me back. I don't know if my parents don't accept my presence here, I don't know where my baby and I are going to be hitching a ride. I'll be a bum on the streets.

‘’You must be strong, son. Who is patient and strong yes, now you have Rafi who you will take care of and educate well. Do not think about all the problems that are happening to you, consider this all the reproof from God to you for your past deeds. And promise to change for the better, promise to God and to yourself.’’ Papa let go of the embrace slowly. Then looking at me, papa's eyes looked still dewy.

‘’In shaa Allah, Pa. Papa Bener, all this is God's rebuke to me, God rebukes in His way so that I may return to His way, but I am never sensitive to God's rebuke,’’ I replied with tears rolling back down my cheeks.

‘’Alhamdulillah you are now beginning to realize, Son. Papa heard it, the door of your heart has begun to open again and the sign of God has brought His guidance to you. Stay grateful and strive to be a better human being, return to His path,’’ lirih papa who is wiping her tears repeatedly.

I was really contemplating listening to all the advice from papa, my heart began to knock back to goodness. And somehow my heart was called to repentance and return to His way. I wish I could be better than I was.

‘’Ma,’’ call me. I rubbed the tears back then looked at the mother who was carrying my baby who was still asleep.

‘’Honey, look! Your baby's so funny. And we must take good care of him and educate him to be a good boy. Right, Pa?’’ Mama showed Rafi who was sleeping and turned to look at papa. Kupandangi. Mama was right.

‘’Your real, son. However, Rafi also needs affection and good upbringing, Mama and Papa will help you. You do not worry,’’ timpal papa while looking at his grandson who is asleep.

‘’Iya, Son. Even though Rafi looks a lot like her Papa, you don't hate your son. His face was indeed similar as he was Andre's biological son, Andre's flesh blood. But his nature should not imitate his Papa, do not let the bad nature of Andre down to his son. So we have to be persistent and continue to educate Rafi well,’’ added mama later. I'm nodding.

‘’Iya, Mom. Mom really,’’ lirihku.

‘’Oh yes, then what about the responsibility of Papa?’’ ask papa later. I pensively for a moment.

‘’Andre has left his home, Pa. And he does not want responsibility even he does not want to know about his son, but Mama Karni gave half of his property to Rafi,’’. Papa was shocked, his eyes were round. Even with my mom who looked amazed.

‘’Part of his treasure? That's a lot of loh, son. Were you wrong time? Or he has other plans,’’ said papa with a shocked face. I shook my head immediately.

‘’Iya, Pa. I'm not wrong and Mama Karni didn't lie to me. Even repeatedly Mama said that if she wanted to give half of her property to Rafi, long before she had taken care of everything until her letter that was sent to my cellphone last afternoon. I know Mama Karni. He is very good,’’ I said at length.

‘’And yesterday Mama Karni sepet pengasih money also make my handle if there is an urgent need, especially I already have Rafi. The money is quite a lot of tablets, Ma, Pa,’’. He seemed more surprised to hear my words.

‘’Ya Allah, Thank God if it is so, Son,’’ sahut mama with teary eyes.

‘’Alhamdulillah, although Andre does not want responsibility at least Mama has been responsible and it turns out Mama Karni is very good yes with you and also Rafi. Papa did not expect,’’ timpal papa seemed to show a smile of relief.

‘’Iya, Ma, Pa. Alhamdulillah, actually Mama Karni is very good even though her husband is so behavior. I got a very good in-law, another with Andre. But maybe this is the best for me, my pure’ returns with a vibrating voice.

‘’Nak, this is what is best for you and this is how God rebukes you to return to His way. Ikhlaskan Andre, release him sincerely yes,’’ lirih mama then look at me.

Then I nodded,’’Iya, Ma. In the Lord's word, I will strive to release Andre sincerely.’’ I try to keep smiling even though my heart feels so bad.

‘’Nak, Papa and Mama are here for you too Rafi, so you don't feel sad. You are strong and patient yes, Nak.’’ Papa patted me on the shoulder slowly. I looked up and nodded.

‘’Iya, Pa. Thanks a lot, I'm lucky to have Mama and Papa.’’

Mama who was carrying Rafi embraced me and so did papa.

‘’Alhamdulillah O Allah, in a time when I was so fragile and hurt, there are still both my parents who love me very much and there are still both of my parents who want to accept my presence here. I'm happy, I'm so grateful to have them,’’ I muttered in my heart without me noticing my tears coming back.

‘’Ya, although on the other hand Andre divorced me. Not long ago our marriage, talak was said to me. Yes, maybe all is a rebuke for me, I used to be so easy to enjoy a moment's sweetness. I am not good at maintaining my honor, I am so easily instigated by shethan. Until this happens. I deeply regret my actions, regrets did come at the end not at the beginning.’’

‘’Now I want to focus on improving myself, changing myself so I can be a good person again, ask forgiveness and repent to God for all the sins I have committed and take care and educate my baby to grow into a child by.’’ I looked at my baby who was still held by my mother.

‘’Bismillah, let yourself go, Ndre. Maybe this is the best thing for us. Thank you for being in my life, you loved me and I loved you once. And thank you for the wounds that you have sustained, hopefully with the past I can turn into a human being who is more ta’ again to Allah. And in any case you remain the father of my baby, for in his body flows the blood of your flesh.’’

I should have listened more to the advice of my best friend, Ayu, but I considered her jealous or excessive. I who was stubborn and hard to accept the end good like this. And especially my parents who always give advice to me even in the midst of his busy daily work in the office, but it all does not make them tired and bored to advise me, teach me kindness.

But I was stubborn and did not want to listen to the advice of both parents until I became pregnant out of wedlock and finally abandoned by the man who had taken away my honor. He who used to love me so much, loved me so much, but his love so quickly faded. Is this what is called love because of lust? Yes, if love because of God will not be that easy to fade and will never fade his love even though it is aging.

I shouldn't have accepted Andre's love before the yellow streak arched, before he shook my papa's hand. But I am blind, I am blind because of love. So easy was I to accept his love, a love that was not yet in time. A love that God has not given. I accepted it until I fell into something that God hates but is well-liked by the damned shetan. I once listened to Ayu's advice. He said approaching adultery alone was forbidden by God much less adultery, whose name was courtship.

‘’And do not approach adultery, it is a heinous deed, and a bad path.’’ (Q.S Al-Isra’ verse 32)

Now I realize that what I've been doing all this time is wrong and a very big sin. It turns out that it is better to date after marriage than to date before marriage, because dating before marriage does not rule out the possibility of shetan always instigates to fall into a misleading association, he said, in the end, getting pregnant outside of marriage is a very big sin and everything affects the child, yourself and especially the family.

If dating after marriage, of course very diridhoi by Allah. Because it has become a halal couple from the world to the next, whatever is done by the halal couple will get a reward and barokah from Allah, he said, also dating after marriage will certainly feel great pleasure because it has been halal. Allah will reward every step of the two halal couples, whatever they do will be rewarded, for example, please the wife and husband.

Seriate.

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