Instantaneous Sweetness

I've Got to Go

The woman I considered to be my mama looked shocked, as did my aunt.

‘’Nak, you are here only.. Although you are not Mama's daughter-in-law anymore, but Mama already considers you as Mama's own biological child.’’

A circle of tears mama again dripped on her cheeks that began to look wrinkled. Likewise with the aunt who did not stop her tears from earlier. I sighed softly and wiped away my tears that had not stopped dripping from earlier.

‘’Ma, thank you very much yes. But I don't want to bother Mama, let alone my status now is not Andre's wife anymore. Mama don't worry, I'll be here if Mama miss Rafi and me, I promise, Ma.’’

‘’Good, if so you say. But allow Mama to give a gift to the grandson of Mama.’’ It shocked me for a moment.

‘’Mama please so you can accept it, this is all you can help your granddaughter Mama.’’

‘’Still a lot, Ma. Again thanks,’’ I said softly and holding my fingers.

‘’Sama-sama, Darling. You want to accept it, right?’’

He stroked my head wrapped in a veil. I hurried to nod. Mama smiled and wiped her tears and hugged me tightly.

‘’Let's let's never change to Mama yes, Son,’’ whispered mama in my ear. I took off my arms slowly and nodded quickly.

‘’I will never change to Mama. Mama I have considered as my own parents,’’ I said with a trembling tone, my tears back down my cheeks. And continued to look at the aunt who had just been flinching beside me.

‘’Bi, thanks a lot during this time yes. Aunty was so kind, so considerate, always helping me and anyway Aunty has helped me a lot. Ma’afil me if there is any wrong yes, Bi.’’

I twisted my body position to face the good woman who was always there for me, Aunt Ningrum.

‘’Sama-sama, Monik. It's Aunt's job. You are not wrong and Bibi also ask ma’af if there is a wrong Monik,’’ reply aunty with tears. And immediately embraced me tightly. Very long ago aunt embraced me. And let go of the embrace slowly. I wiped away the tears for a moment. Mama looks pensive.

‘’Monik, you want to go back to your home?’’ ask mama slowly.

I shook my head,’’Not yet, Ma. But Papa and Mama also want to move from that house.’’

‘’Moving? Why?’’ Mama looked surprised.

‘’Mama and Papa are not comfortable just staying there, let alone neighbors on julid and—’’ I can not extend my words.

‘’Mama understands. but where do you stay later?’’

‘’That's, Ma. I do not know yet, the plan to call Mama with Papa.’’

‘’Ya, Ma, Bi. I'm cleaning up first.’’

I hurried to get up, my mother and aunt nodded. I then walked into the closet. I stared at my son who was still asleep. My heart was really staring at him. Tears are back to divorce.

‘’You must be strong, Nak.’’ Mom's hand patted my arm slowly.

‘’Iya, Real mom. The monik must be strong,’’ added aunt who joined standing beside mama. I can only nod.

‘’Ya have you rested first yes. Calm your mind, if you need anything just call Aunt or Mama,’’ said mama Karni slowly.

‘’Mama want to go to room first.’’

Again I can only nod with tears still in my divorce. Mama seemed to step outside the room, while aunt was still staring at me.

‘’Monik, Aunty understands what you are feeling right now. But you have to be strong and do you have no pity on Rafi? If you keep crying, Rafi will come crying too,’’ aunt's advice softly.

‘’Aibi is sure you can get through this all,’’ he added who did not break it to look at me with a sad look.

‘’Thank you, Bi. Do’akan me in order to get through this all,’’ lirihku in between sobbing. Aunt nodded with a nod.

‘’Ya already, Aunty wants to go back to the kitchen first yes.’’

I nodded with a nod. Aunty hurried to step outside the room and closed the door slowly. I looked back at my sleeping baby. I hurried to the bed. Staring at my baby made my heart even more sliced.

‘’Nak, we have to go from here Honey. Your father divorced Mama.’’

‘’Mama don't know where to take you. Ma’af Mama.’’

Many times I have tears falling into divorce. The chest felt very tight and really hurt this heart. Instantly my flat object rang in the nightstand and I grabbed it.

‘’Mama?’’

Maybe the feeling has reached my mom. Yes, the feeling between the child and the mother is very strong. I returned the tears that were still flowing. I try to catch my breath and try to be okay.

‘’Assalamua’alaikum, Nak.’’

‘’Wa—wa’alaikumussalam, Ma.’’

‘’Cock your voice as you cry?’’

‘’E—doesn't, Ma. This is due to a cold aja.’’

‘’Udah take medicine? Ntar nular to Rafi loh.’’

‘’Oh yes, Ma. Tumben Mama clock calls.’’ I'm trying to shift the conversation.

‘’No Mama can call you?’'

‘’Humm, may, Ma.’’ I'm laughing a little.

‘’Begin, Son. Mama and Papa Alhamdulillah have now moved, so you and your husband can play here. When do you play here bring all your grandchildren Mama?’’

Jem! Husband? As long as you know I've separated from Andre. She divorced me. I don't know what to do. Want to tell my mom I can't feel it.

‘’Hallo, Son!’’

‘’Eh, hello, Mom. Yes, thank goodness that Mama and Papa have moved.’’

‘’So when are you going to be here? Bring Mama's daughter-in-law and grandchild yes.’’

Make my tears escape. What am I supposed to say to Mama? I wiped my tears with the end of the veil.

‘’Iya, Mom. In shay Allah later Monik to it.’’

‘’You're crying? How do you sound like that?’’

‘’No, Ma. Yes, yes, Ma. Mama Karni called me outside. Assalamua’alaikum.’’

I can no longer feel like I'm talking to my mom until I disconnect the phone. My cry broke instantly and my body shook violently.

‘’Ma’af me, Ma. I don't want Mama and Papa to think anymore,’’ I said in between sobs.

‘’Maybe this is God's way, so that I return to his path.’’

I shed tears and hurried to get up. It feels heavy and hard for me. I have to be strong and patient for my baby. Gegasku collected all my clothes and Rafi's clothes and tidied them into a suitcase. I was the middle of a few mama Karni also approached me.

‘’Nak, this is for you.’’ Mom handed me a large envelope. All I thought was money for Rafi.

‘’No need, Ma,’’ reject me slowly and still busy tidying up my suitcase.

‘’Take it, Mama knows you definitely need this money. My sincere mom. Don't you feel sorry for Rafi? Later you even do not have money to contract temporarily.’’

Mom returned the envelope.

Mama has a point too. I really need that money, too. Especially now that I have a child. Of course, it takes money to buy their daily needs.

‘’Still a lot, Ma. I took ya.’’ Mama nodded and smiled. I grabbed it and kept it in my suitcase. Mama hugged me back tightly.

‘’Please promise that you won't change. Whenever you're going here the door of the house is wide open for you,’’ whispered mama.

‘’Iya. I-i promise. Thanks again, Ma. And take care of your health always.’’

‘’I love Mama very much,’’ lirihku take off a slow hug then look at mom.

‘’And so have you, take care of your health yes, son. Mom loves you very much.’’ Mama kissed my forehead.

‘’If you need anything say to Mama and contact Mama directly yes.’’

I nodded and tried to keep smiling. My suitcase is finished and all my clothes are in the suitcase with no one left except Rafi's swing still hanging. Mama didn't stop looking at me with sadness. It seems like my mom is hard to let me go.

‘’Monik, let the driver Mama who called you yes?’’

‘’No need, Ma. Let me take an angkot aja,’’ I replied slowly. Mama shook her head.

‘’Mama can not let you and your grandchild go away while the vehicle you will ride is not yet there and not yet clear. Want ya?’’ wheedled.

I had to nod. My mom smiled too. I hurried to carry Rafi and carry the suitcase in my hand. Mama was constantly staring at her granddaughter who was still sleeping. Mom's tears were shed staring at my baby.

‘’Ma’a Oma yes, Darling,’’ ogre mama with vibrating voice. Mama's hand spontaneously stroked her puff cheek and then kissed my baby's forehead.

‘’Oma very dear Rafi kok. Oma will never change to Rafi. Healthy-healthy yes Darling, so the child who sholeh and sometime play again here.’’

Unceasingly the tears of his mother fell, he continued to wipe her many times. Making me come to shed tears and then wipe as soon as possible.

‘’Ya already, yuk Mama anter forward,’’ said mom after wiping her tears.

I nodded and my footsteps felt heavy out of this room. I looked at all the rooms I had ever occupied. Remembering me all. Memories with Andre when I was better with him, when he treated me well. His laughter, his attention, his affection, and everything remembered me. My eyes are staring at this room. Historic room for me.

‘’But Ndre, even though you were only present for a moment in my life and even incised a wound in this heart. At least you have taught me the true meaning of love.’’

I closed the room and set foot to the first floor even though it was difficult for me. Mama looked at me and was still standing. I slowly set foot while holding my baby and carrying a suitcase.

‘’Monik,’’ call aunty when I'm already downstairs. I looked at it for a moment.

‘’Bi, take care of Mom yes,’’ my message. Aunt looks to nod.

‘’But Monik should promise to play here often bring Rafi yes. It's lonely if there's no you and Rafi, usually Rafi's voice that makes this house rame."

‘’Auntie is calm, I will often play here anyway. Aunty take care of health yes.’’ I tried to hold back my tears and tried to smile even if it was bland.

Aunty nodded and kissed Rafi's forehead.

‘’Monik, I've been waiting for you outside,’’ call mama then new ones come from outside.

‘’Iya, Mom. I said yes.’’

‘’Ya, Bi. Me and Rafi say goodbye. Take care of Mom, Bi. Asalamua’laikum.’’ Aunt's hand to takzdim. The tears that I had been holding back from earlier had just spilled out. Aunty seemed to shed tears and nodded.

‘’Be careful, Monik,’’ says aunty. I stepped outside the house. Arriving at the garage I saw the father of my personal driver was waiting for me. I breathe heavily.

‘’Monik, we leave?’’ ask the driver who is still standing next to the car parked in the garage.

‘’Shortly, Sir,’’. My mom came to me outside the house.

‘’Be careful yes, Son. Take care of your health, take care of Rafi and do not forget to contact Mama ya.’’

‘’Frequently play here bring my grandson Mama,’’ added mama while peeling Rafi's forehead back.

‘’Iya, Mom. Mama take care of health yes.’’ That word is all that comes out of my mouth. Mama nodded and hugged me back tightly. This time it was longer until the old driver stared at us.

‘’Ya already, Ma. Me and Rafi say goodbye first, assalamua’alaikum.’’ I feel sorry for my mom, when my mom's tears come back. I don't know how many times my mom has shed tears.

‘’Wa’alaikumussalam, be careful yes, dear.’’

I nodded and the driver rushed to grab the suitcase in my hand, helping to bring it to the car. I slowly stepped towards the car parked in the garage. I stared at my baby still asleep, Mr. driver opened the door for me but my eyes did not stop looking at the entire yard of this house. This house is so historic to me.

Starting from me who ventured into this house to meet mama to hold her son accountable, she said, so that I can be well received here even though my father-in-law does not approve of me with his son until I continue to be snapped, treated badly and forced to make his taste. And also my memories with Andre when he treated me like his wife. All of this was imagined by me.

I see it all in my mind. Until I realized that I shed tears looking at this luxurious house. Mama looked at me, as well as the aunt who came out of the house with tears on her cheeks.

‘’Monik, let's go,’’ call driver pack then. Able to break my daydream.

‘’Ah yes, ma’af. Come, Mr.’’

With a heavy heart I rushed into the car that had been opened by my mother's personal driver. I fixed my seat in the car. The windshield was wide open so it was easy for me to look at my mom and aunt from the car. My mom and aunt looked at me. The driver had already boarded the car and put on a belt, then started the engine.

Don't forget the driver honked his valedictorian horn. Mama and aunt waved to me with tears. I replied by waving my hand and then trying to smile even though tears continued to pour. The car drove away from the grounds of the luxury house. It was so heavy and felt like it was all just a dream.

‘’We want to where Monik?’’ ask the driver who is still focused on driving.

‘’Eh, briefly, Sir. I first asked her address.’’

‘’Ya, there is no other place to stay other than to Mama's house. Especially now that he has moved. There's nothing wrong with me trying to get back to living with my parents. Hopefully it is safe there,’’ muttered me and rushed to take my flat objects in my pockets and then send a message to mama.

‘’Assalamua’alaikum, Ma. Send home address now yes, Ma.’’ Looks like a two-striped tick. Soon it turned blue. It means my mom has been reading my message.

‘’Wa’alaikumussalam, Son. Cempaka Street. 5 Rt 4 Rw 5 Semarang Regency,’’ reply mom later.

‘’It's full address, Sir.’’ I rushed to show the contents of the message to the driver's father and he turned his head for a moment while reaching for the phone I was proposing.

‘’OK, Monik,’’ legitimately while giving back my phone. Not long after the car entered the elite and luxurious house. Yeah, maybe this is a new house that's occupied by mom and dad. Looks more luxurious than the previous house and certainly more spacious.

‘’Udah until, Monik,’’ said the driver and rushed out of the car to open the door for me.

‘’Be careful yes, Monik.’’ I replied with a nod and slowly stepped outside cautiously as I was carrying my baby. The driver rushed to bring a suitcase.

‘’Still much yes, Sir.’’

‘’Sama-sama, Monik. By the way my suitcase help bring it inside too?’’ I shook my head immediately.

‘’I can do it myself, Sir. It's not heavy, thanks again, sir.’’

I hurried to carry the suitcase and the father replied with a nod and smiled. I looked at the new house owned by my mother and papa looked wider than the previous house and of course also looked luxurious.

‘’I'm back again Ma, Pa. Hopefully our new neighbors do not know about my disgrace, I am afraid if Mama and Papa hurt again with the words of the neighbors. Hopefully this time we feel at home staying here yes, son,’’ my mummy staring at the baby on my lap and continue to look at the yard of the house that still feels foreign to me.

The door opened and the woman who had given birth to me. I can't believe I'm holding back the tightness in my chest. I want to tell my mom everything. I couldn't hold my cry until it broke and I ran into my mom's arms. Mama looked astonished.

‘’Mama!’’ I said in between tears and embraced my mother tightly.

‘’Nak, you why? You're all right?’’

‘’Where is your husband? How are you two with Rafi?’’ Mama stroked my back and her eyes looked for Andre's whereabouts.

I could no longer bear all the burdens in my mind and my cries became more and more in my mother's arms until my baby woke up.

Seriate.

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Thank you very much for Readers who are still faithful to read the novel ‘’Keemanisan Sesaat’’ although Author often does not update, but you still wait for the continuation of the story. Yeah, it's because Author's been getting sick a lot lately.

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