Instantaneous Sweetness

What Is This Called Hidayah?

I who slept immediately woke up, faint sound of the chanting of the holy verse of the Qur’an so melodious and piercing the recesses of my heart. Slowly I sat. Scroll to the side it turns out my little baby is still asleep. I gathered my life first, my eyes fixed on the thing that was coiling on the wall.

‘’Pat 04.00?’’ lirih.

My eyes and body were so tired that my little baby was fussy all night. The curiosity that erupted made me get up, then step towards the aunt Sisi's room which was not far from the room that I inhabited. I was standing right in front of the closed door. God, it turns out that his voice came from Sisi's aunt's room.

‘’Ya Allah, Aunty's voice is very good. And for some reason it gave me goosebumps, my heart felt called to obediently worship like a Aunt. I have been here for two days, now I only feel and wake up when I hear the sound of the chanting of the holy verse of the Qur’an from Aunt. Is this called guidance? Is it time I return to his path?’’ mummify slowly.

Yes, somehow my heart feels called to perform worship like aunty Sisi who obeyed once in his worship. But I just finished giving birth. Yes, I have heard the lecture of an ustadz if women who have given birth cannot pray first, must be waited after for 40 days can only pray, he said, after the blood wiladah stops and after the mandatory bath.

‘’I will promise myself after 40 days I will be diligent in worship, ask for forgiveness from God and try to be better,’’ my resolve to myself.

‘’It looks like Aunt has finished reading Al-Qur’an deh,’’ my inner and rushed to leave the door of her room. But then the door opened.

‘’Eh, Monik? Uptake up?’’ asked the aunt who was still in the doorway of her room, she was still wearing a face.

I pretended to go to the water dispenser located in front of the door of his room to enter, I pretended to take water.

‘’A—I want to fetch water, Aunt. Thirsty,’’ my sahut who rushed to reach for the glass and press the green button until the water was poured from the dispenser.

‘’Why not bring the water to the room? Let you deket take it, no longer difficult to get out deh.’’

‘’Eh yes, Aunt. I forgot,’’ I said while scratching the head that does not itch.

‘’Ya already, you are not praying. Sleep again there, still shubuh loh. Ntar wake up the Dedek do not get any more rest,’’ aunty titah Sisi long width.

‘’Iya, Tan. I went to the room first,’’ I watered down while carrying a glass of water and stepped into the room. Once in the room, I breathed a sigh of relief. I sipped the water slowly, then put the glass back on the nightstand.

‘’Hopefully I can kayak Aunt Sisi who always obeys worship. My heart was touched when I heard the chanting of the holy verse of the Qur’an chanted by Aunt Sisi, my heart was touched when he finished berwudhu’ even though prayer time had not entered, and I was very touched again when Aunt was doing Tahajjud prayers. I just say, let alone to pray tahajjud, pray five times only occasionally even because of the orders of Mama and Papa. Especially after I got married and got pregnant out of wedlock. Oh God, what a shame this is. My sins are so much, may Allah forgive all my sins,’’ I watered slowly. A moment later my baby woke up and cried.

‘’Honey, what's up, Nak?’’ I said while checking the building.

‘’Eh, it turns out you peed, Nak.’’

With a plan I change the clothes and wet diapers. For a few days it was aunt Sisi who helped to change her clothes when wet, but I feel disinclined if she did it every day. So I learned to him, Thank God I have begun to dare to change my baby clothes, although very slowly.

A few minutes later, I had finished changing her clothes. Now it's time to breastfeed my baby. I take it, and I put it in my lap.

‘’Ma’af Mama yes, Son,’’ lirihku staring at my baby. His face was so similar to Andre, I stared at the tiny, flushed face.

‘’Yes Allah, don't let me waste this baby of mine,’’ I mumbled softly.

Moments later…

‘’Assalamua’laikum, Monik. Are you awake? This Aunt brought breakfast,’’ said aunt Sisi accompanied by a knock on the door from the outside.

‘’Wa’alaikumussalam. Okay, Aunt. The door is not locked, pushed aja.’’ sahutku from inside the room.

At the instant the door rang, Aunt Sisi appeared to be carrying a tray that I thought contained breakfast for me. Yes, every morning the aunt always brings breakfast to the room, lunch, and even dinner as well. Sometimes I feel reluctant, I am treated like this by him who does not have a family relationship with me. Although he is his aunt Ayu, the younger brother of Ayu's parents.

‘’Nih, Aunt bring moringa vegetables for you. Let ASI be a lot. And there is juice, fruits and fried chicken too,’’ explained aunt Sisi while putting the tray on the nightstand. For a moment I stared at him with sparkling eyes.

‘’Ya Allah, thank you very much, Aunt. I've bothered to take care of me while here, I've taken care of Auntie loh,’’ lirihku slowly.

‘’Sama-sama, Auntie does not feel bothered at all really, Monik. You already Aunty considered as Aunt's own biological child,’’ said the woman who took care of me these few days while smiling.

‘’Ya Allah, very good Auntie this yes. I was sholehah and very good again, but why did she not get a replacement husband? Can she forget her husband?’ Ahh, there's just something I think, my inner’’.

‘’Kok dumbly? Come on, breakfast first, Monik. Si Dedek let Auntie bathe him yes.’’

‘’Ta—tapi, Tan. How many times aunty who bathed the Dedek, especially Aunt also work sewing,’’ said me slowly.

‘’Nothing, Monik. Aunty is very happy to be able to bathe the Dedek. People's orders are ready to be stitched up, Monik,’’ sahut aunt Sisi assured me.

‘’Iya, Aunt. Thanks, Tan. Thank goodness for that.’’

‘’Sama-sama. Well, here's Dedek. Play first with Oma yes, because Adek is ready to drink ASI so take it easy for a while.’’ I gave my baby to Sisi's aunt, then she put it in her lap.

‘’Breakfast first, Monik.’’

‘’Iya. Auntie has breakfast?’’ ask me while reaching for the tray on the nightstand.

‘’Udah from shubuh instead. Yes already, Auntie take the Dedek to Aunt's room ya.’’

‘’Iya, Aunt.’’ He rushed to bring my baby. And I immediately ate the breakfast that was brought by Aunt Sisi.

A moment later, after breakfast. The medicine curiosh lying on the nightstand. And I took back the medicine that the doctor gave me a week ago.

‘’Oh yes, does Auntie not bring a change of clothes for my baby?’’ askau.

‘’Douh! I just remembered, there's my baby clothes outside. Maybe it's dry time yes, which was washed by Auntie yesterday,’’ said I, while patting the forehead slowly.

A few minutes later, I cleaned up the dishes and walked slowly to the sink. I turned on the tap water.

‘’Monk! Let Aunty wash the dishes later,’’ said aunt Sisi from inside there, maybe because I heard the sound of tap water that I was turning on.

‘’Iya, Tan. This is me washing my hands,’’.

Actually I really want to help Sisi's aunt's work, but not allowed by him. I was just ready to give birth and have surgery too. So kind of a woman's heart, like an angel. From the face that just saturates can be guessed.

I slowly stepped back into the room. Upon arrival in the room, my flat object rang instantly. Kuraih and took him quiet on the bed. I wrote it on her screen ‘’Bu Karni’’.

‘’Assalamua’laikum, Monik!’’ he said across there.

‘’Wa’alaikumussalam, Bu.’’

‘’What's right you at home Tantenya Ayu now, son?’’

‘’I—iya, Bu.’’

‘’Ya Allah, why not say the same Mother?’’ I breathe heavily.

‘’Ma’af, Mom. You see I rushed kemaren.’’

‘’Ya, it's okay. Oh yes, which grandson of Mother?’’

‘’Si Dedek is playing with Aunt Sisi, Bu.’’

‘’Oalah, even though I miss the mother's grandchild. Want to hear his voice.’’

‘’Eat him here, Bu.’’

‘’Iya Mom will pick you up, anyways you will marry too right?’’

‘’Ma—mean, Mom?’’

‘’Andre will soon marry you.’’

"Not that he wants to go to college at his dream college" I said.

‘’A—Andre not going to college.’’

‘’A—apa, Bu?’’ I shouted while silencing my mouth.

‘’The school already knows everything, even the school does not want to help to enroll Andre in the campuses of his dreams.’’

‘’Bu, ma’af me.’’

‘’Not your fault, Son. He should be good at taking care of you. He was wrong.’’

‘’Nation is already slurry. It's already happening. Oh yeah, how you doing?’’

‘’Alhamdulillah I've started to improve, Mom. Here Aunt Sisi always makes nutritious food and takes good care of me. He was very good turned out.’’

‘’Alhamdulillah, thank goodness, Monik. I'm glad to hear it.’’

‘’Iya. Oh yes Mom, how about Nina, Mom?’’

‘’Women betrothed by Mr Ardi do you mean?’’ I just nodded, even though I knew Ms. Karni wouldn't be seen if I was nodding.

‘’You are calm, let it be Mother who takes care of you. Don't think about it.’’

‘’I—iya, Bu.’'

‘’Do not hesitate so dong, Son. Rest assured that you will marry Andre so that Dedek has a father.’’

‘’Tomorrow Mom will pick you up to the Aunt's house, you send her full address yes, Nak.’’

‘’Iya, Bu.’’

‘’Ya already, already yes. Do not forget to eat medicine, get plenty of rest and take good care of your baby. Assalamua’laikum.’’

‘’Iya. Thanks, Mom. Wa’alaikumussalam.’’

The phone connection was cut off, I put the flat object back on the nightstand.

‘’Allah, why I doubt ya?’’

‘’No, my son needs a father, my inner’’ while shaking.

‘’Oh yes, Ayu I have not told you that Bu Karni tomorrow will pick me up.’’

I reached back for the flat object and pressed Ayu's contact number on the green app.

Number busy? What if I just send a message. I hurried to write a message.

‘’Assalamua’laikum. Yu, I want to call you, but you're busy. Gini, Miss Karni's picking me up tomorrow. He called me earlier. You are here tomorrow yes,’’ write me on the green app, directly send to contact ‘’Ayu My best friend’’.

‘’Please busy times yes, it's okay. As long as the message has been sent, just wait for a reply from Ayu,’’ lirihku slowly and put the flat object back.

Instantly the room door was knocked by Sisi's aunt.

‘’Monik, Aunty in?’’

‘’Iya, Tan. No key monikers kok.’’

‘’Nah, this is Mama Dedek. Very long play with Oma yes, Dek,’’ said aunt Sisi while giving the little one to me.

‘’Olala! Dear Mama play with Oma ya?’’ I kissed her forehead and put her back to bed.

‘’Monik, this Aunt already got a name for the Dedek, but what if the Papa does not like?’’ said Aunt Sisi while nodding at my bed.

‘’Wah, Alhamdulillah dong, Tan. I'm sure the Papa likes it too. What's her name, Auntie?’’

‘’Truly nothing? Ntar Aunty who was scolded by her Papa the Dedek,’’ said aunt while chuckling. I'm just smiling.

‘’Truly, Tan. It's okay.’’

‘’Have, his name is Rafidan. It means helpful, do you like the name?’’

‘’Ya Allah, very good, Tan. But—’’ I can no longer afford to continue my words.

‘’Do my son's pantes use that name?’’ my inner.

‘’Lah, why are you all right, Monik?’’

‘’Ba—well all right, Aunt.’’

‘’You do not like the name or we can change another, later Aunty searchin again better.’’

‘’Ja—don't, Tan. That's all, it's really good, Aunt,’’ my word as soon as possible.

I looked at the shade of the aunt was in confusion,’’Ya already, his name is Rafidan. Call Rafi aja, how?’’

‘’Agree really, Tan.’’

‘’Alhamdulillah if so, later if there is a celebration can also celebrate the giving of his name.’’

‘’Iya, Aunt. At my in-laws' home,’’ sahutku as soon as possible.

‘’Ya already, Tente wants to work first. Ntar if you need anything call aja Aunt yes,’’ said Aunt Sisi then, then hurry up.

‘’Iya, Aunt. But, ma’af. I can't help Auntie,’’ lirihku slowly.

‘’And already Aunt told me that you finished giving birth and surgery too, so you have to really recover first. Aunty regular self-employment also kok.’’

‘’You've got a lot of ya, Auntie. May Allah repay the kindness of Aunt.’’

‘’Sama-sama. Amiin Yes Robbal ‘aalamiin. If it's Aunt working first yes.’’

I nodded and smiled, while the aunt stepped out of my room.

‘’Your name is Rafi, Honey. May your name be in your nature, son. Although Mama like this,’’ lirihku slowly while peeling his forehead. He's still fast asleep. Instantly the flat thing rang. Kuraih and I looked at, it turned out that the reply was a message from Ayu.

‘’Wa’alaikumussalam, Monik. Ma’af yes, I was calling Teacher. Thank God, I already know from Bu Karni, he called me. Ma’af I can't go to Aunt's house tomorrow, because I'm taking the test tomorrow. You go directly to Miss Karni yes, sometime I will meet you there.’’

Seriate.

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