Instantaneous Sweetness

Me Why?

A week later

My body is starting to recover. Thank God I have been given a return permit by the hospital.

‘’You are really healthy right, Monik?’’ mama asked at a glance, he was cleaning all my clothes in a suitcase.

I nodded and smiled, ‘’Alhamdulillah already, Ma. But, I can't just cost my baby,’’ I said slowly.

Because I don't want my parents to be gossip again because of me. Especially if I bring my baby back home.

Mama was immediately shocked and there was a sense that I could not interpret from my mama's face, but still trying to smile,’’Mama why ya?’’ my mind keeps tracing my mother's face.

‘’Ka—you're back to health, son,’’ he said softly and just kept looking at me.

‘’Ma—mean, Mama?’’ many wonder. What does mama mean? Mom came closer to me.

‘’A few days after you gave birth, your attitude is strange and you said that the baby is not your baby. And it makes Mama confused, your thoughts every day. Your mind is erratic, you do not want to eat and do not want to breastfeed your baby,’’ explained mama at length who managed to make me gape so surprised and confused I. What's wrong with me?

‘’But, Thank God all the Doctors here take action quickly, you are being psychotherapized and Mama is also looking for Psychiatrists from abroad,’’, her tears escaped on her cheeks which seemed to be beginning to wrinkle.

‘’Ma, a—aku ask ma’af yes. Above all, I am not good at men—’’ immediately my speech stopped.

‘’Everything's happened, son. Rice is already porridge. And Mama has forgiven you. Your job now is to take good care of your baby, because he is innocent, he knows nothing. And it is your duty to ask Allah for forgiveness for all your sins, to repair yourself and to worship diligently, to seek your identity,’’ advice mama this time is able to make my tears shed instantly, able to stab into the recesses of my heart. I feel slapped.

‘’Iya. Thanks a lot, Ma. Mama already wants to accept me back, Mama already want to mema’a back my mistakes, and please guide me yes, Ma. In order to return to his path.’’

‘’I need guidance, doa’, and support from Mama and Papa.’’ I clasped my mother's fingers and looked at her.

‘’Ta—but, Where's Papa, Ma? How come Papa never saw me here, do not-don't Papa still angry ya?’’ I asked slowly because I immediately remembered my first love. For as long as I was in the hospital I never saw his face.

‘’You've been working for a few days. Actually Papam often accompanies you here, even bribing you to eat. Often you spill the credit, do you not remember?’’ sahut mama slow. Makes me shake my head for a moment and smother my mouth. There was guilt in my heart.

‘’And also your Papa thumped Andre,’’ added mama with a soft look.

‘’A—Andre, Ma?’’ I asked with a stitch. The woman who gave birth to me nineteen years ago nodded.

‘’He came here he said he wanted to see his son,’’ said mom while wiping her tears. Oh my God, what's wrong with me? Me Why?

‘’Kok I don't even remember anything, Ma,’’ I said in surprise.

Mama stroked the tip of my head wrapped in a veil,’’When you were in a deep depression, you didn't know anything. Even your baby does not drink breast milk from you, forced Mama to buy him bottle milk,’’ sahut mama wirih with teary eyes.

‘’Astaghfirullah ‘al adziim, Yes Allah I have sinned again,’’ I said softly while silencing his mouth so shocked.

‘’And you are in a state of unconsciousness and severe depression. God Know it, it's okay.’’

‘’Now you should really recover first yes, Nak.’’

‘’All letters and finances have been taken care of with Ayu, let's go home! Your papa is heading here,’’ added mama later.

‘’Ayu? Why didn't he take me first, Ma? She's home?’’

‘’Iya, Son. He hurriedly picked up his grandmother from the hospital. And usually Ayu even accompany you every day, do you not remember? He patiently takes care of you,’’ said mama softly, I was amazed. Lah, I don't remember anything? Never mind, I don't need to remember everything. Let this body back to full health first.

‘’Yes Allah, I don't remember at all, Ma.’’

‘’Already, do not need to be forced yes, Nak.’’

‘’ Yes. Ta—tapi, Mom. Has Miss Karni never been here?’’ I asked back curious, while frowning.

‘’Most Andre?’’

I nodded immediately.

‘’Mama Andre has been here many times, but Mama and Papa kicked him out."

‘’Ya Allah. Why, Ma? Miss Karni is very good with me. Before giving birth I also lived in his house. Even he who forced his son to take responsibility,’’ I explained at length.

‘’We must ask ma’af same Bu Karni, Ma. Let's go to his house!’’ I hurried to get up.

My plan was to meet with Ms. Karni to ask ma’af for everything my mom and papa did. Yes, I understand how both parents feel when their children are impregnated by men, I know he must be very angry and even so painful his heart. However, Miss Karni was also very kind to me and even took me to her house to live with her.

‘’Ja—don't, Son. She knows why Mom and Dad kicked her out. And yesterday we also asked each other to’af.’’ Mama tried to prevent me. Mom's words made me feel relieved.

"Mama learned to forgive Andre, even though it was so difficult. Anyway Andre is your baby's Papa."

I breathe out slowly. And inwardly justifies the words of mama. Yeah, I'm sure no one else wants to marry me. Especially getting pregnant outside of marriage.

‘’But now Bu Karni doesn't see me anymore, Ma?’’

‘’You are calm, he will meet you. Mama has a marketing agreement with him, if you can go home and really recover, Mama will call him. Mama will also talk about your marriage with Andre,’’ obviously mama at length.

‘’Bu—not Papa—‘’

‘’Iya, now your Papa can already receive and mema’an Andre. It's all for your good and Mama's grandson,’’ said the mother while showing a smile.

‘’Iya, Mom. Thank goodness, thank you Ma.’’

‘’Ta—but, would Andre want to marry me in this condition. Ahh, instead of this because of his deeds as well, my inner’’.

Mama nodded with a smile,’’Yaudah, yuk!’’ She grabbed my suitcase and helped me walk. I feel like I'm in the clouds. My body feels very light. Maybe because after giving birth and also me these few days never walk once.

‘’My baby where?’’ ask me for a moment and stop my steps.

My mom and I walked slowly, until we arrived at a room devoted to babies. We hurried into the room. I saw a lot of little babies in this room and it was all written on their parents' names there. I looked for my baby and finally I found the writing,’’Baby Mba Monik.’’

‘’Let Mama carry it yes,’’ says mom. I'm nodding.

‘’Ma’afil all the mistakes Mama well, Nak,’’ my inner while holding her cheek slowly. Oh yes, his name is not given. At home, yes.

‘’Si Dedek will be taken home yes, Mba?’’ asked her sister to approach us immediately.

‘’Iya, Sus. I Thank God I have been given home,’’, I said with a smile.

‘’Ulalaa, Darling. Time to go home, Dek. Well, the same Grandma yes,’’ lyirihnya while carrying my baby, then give it to mama.

‘’Kalo so we say goodbye first, Sus,’’ says mom represent.

‘’Be careful Mom, Ma'am and his baby's Grandpa,’’ is friendly while nodding.

We nodded and smiled. We hurried outside the hospital. A moment later, I looked away from the hospital parking lot that looked like it was papa's car there. We stepped into the parking lot. Sure enough, it was papa's car. He hurried to open the car door. I ran for a moment and hugged him.

‘’Pa, ma’afkan all my mistakes yes,’’ said me with a circle of tears that began to fall.

‘’Already, Papa has mema’mu. Rice has become porridge, now we go home. Let you rest,’’sahut papa rubbed my back slowly. I took off my arms slowly and wiped my tears.

‘’You are many yes, Pa,’’, my father seemed to nod as soon as possible, smiling.

‘’Ta—tapi, Pa. I don't want to take care of Mama and Papa, I don't want to be even later as a gossip material neighbor.’’

‘’I cost aja ya Pa, Ma?’’

‘’Ngak, Monik. You have to really heal first. We go home yes.’’

‘’Your father, son. You have to stay home first, let your condition really recover,’’ timpal mama.

‘’Bener also. Where can with my situation like gini take care of my own baby, my inner’’.

‘’Where, Nak?’’

‘’I'll come home with Mama and Papa.’’

‘’Nah is dong, pity Opa's grandson.’’ Papa immediately pinched my baby's nose gently.

‘’Do not digituin dong, Pa. Ntar even woke up his Dedek again.’’ Mama looks pissed.

‘’Alhamdulillah, Papa and Mama have been able to accept my baby, my inner’’ with teary eyes.

‘’Yuk, up to the car!’’ take papa later. We rushed to the car.

Papa drove carefully, so slowly.

‘’Kok tumben Papa bring a car this slow?’’ asked the mother who broke the silence between us, she was hugging my baby.

‘’And there's our grandson, Ma. It is not possible that Papa Kayak usually bring a car. He even shocked later rose with his Opanya,’’ said papa chuckles, he still focuses on driving the car occasionally glances towards my mother and baby.

‘’Mama thinks Papa is possessed, so Mama tanya.’’ Mama chuckles.

‘’Awardly aja. If Papa's trance will speed, Ma. There's only this Mama.’’

‘’Eh, how do you know this Islamic genie who entered Papa's body, how?’’ my mother who does not want to lose.

As soon as I let out a small laugh, there was a sense of happiness re-emerging in my heart. Happiness that had run aground so far, longing every second that I felt and now Alhamdulillah come back again. Although not as it used to be. At least I can feel the happiness again, the laughter of my mother and father, the warmth of my family and the affection of my parents. That's what I want, I miss that and dream about it while I'm pregnant with my baby.

‘’Yes right, Monik?’’ Mama looked at me who was swaying in my daydream.

‘’Ah Yes, Ma.’’

‘’You don't want to be friends with Papa anymore?’’ ask papa with a manyun lips, I noticed behind the rearview mirror of the car.

‘’Papa mah that! Between Mama and Papa, Monik cannot choose which one. Anyway both, Monik loves you very much,’’ said me with trembling lips.

‘’Lah, how different again. It used to be Papa who often preferred.’’

‘’Don't that ah, Pa. Joking continues,’’ said mama who looked annoyed.

‘’Iya, yes. Thanks to Papa's son, Kirain chose Papa aja.’’ Papa chuckles.

‘’No, Pa. Kan Mama who worry too and Papa find a living for him. So it has to be fair, don't you, son?’’ mama asked while chuckling, I also laughed a little.

‘’Iya, Ma, Pa. Monik can not choose between Papa and Mama,’’. He also smiled widely.

‘’Alhamdulillah, I have been able to see again the smile that is painted on the lips of my parents. O Allah, may no more parting, my inner’’ with dewy eyes staring at the two smiling parents.

Seriate.

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