Dusk And Suffering

4. Who Am I Born To?

"You should stop working! Do you think I can't support you, huh? Your job is to take care of the child, educate well, sit still at home. I don't want to know, you have to stop working, I don't want this to happen again. So I'm not a bitch, you are!" akmal's jolt to his wife.

"Hey, that kid's business isn't just my responsibility as a mother. Taking care of, educating, keeping it is our job. You can't just blame me," Clara replied no less emotionally.

Akmal and Clara, a married couple who every day only fuss about something, both small and big. They never get along with a single thing. Their selfishness is always at the top is the trigger they always fight day and night.

Like this morning, their only baby has a fever and does not want to be lived by his mother. Since then Karang roared asking for his mother's arms. The three-year-old was crying hysterically at his mother who was preparing to go to the office.

"Mama, mama," whined the Coral in the midst of his weeping.

Toddler who is being carried by his baby sitter is trying to get down .

"You saw him! A mother's love is what she needs! You don't be like a fat and maniac job. I can still afford to pamper you with treasure!"

With an annoyed step Clara went back inside the house. He took the Coral from his baby sitter sling and took it to his room. And sure enough, the three-year-old boy was instantly speechless as the mother's soft hands clenched him.

Akmal continued his steps to the courtyard. He closed the car door so loud that it made a loud noise. He was tired, he was tired of the state of the household that he always stained with commotion.

It has been four years that he has been living with Clara. But the house he stopped by seemed to make him uncomfortable. He was unhappy with what he had been doing all this time.

"My soldier, where are you? What happened after that night? This is the seventh year I lost track of you that I found hard to spot. I still hope you are okay" Akmal said with a trembling voice.

***

It's been three days since Dusk was hospitalized. And today is the day he was last treated. A pretty boy is happy not a bitch. For three days now, he was so tired of just sleeping in a cramped hospital bed.

There is no happiness in the house, he just got peace in the hospital. Not being yelled at, mocked, beaten and not getting any other violence. However, for some reason three days did not meet his mother makes Dusk feel the longing that is very deep.

"Sir, is Mom home?" suddenly tanyanya.

Ms. Patmi seemed to think for a moment, "There may be. At this hour, I have not yet left for work. Indeed why?" Ms. Patmi did not stop doing her activities packing all the goods.

"I miss my mom. I'm so scared I'm the same mom, I got a dream in the hug, and now I'm cured, huh. I was so happy, Grandma had that dream last night. If I could ask, I would ask God not to get up. Let me hold Mom." Dusk told her dream last night with great enthusiasm. It was evident from the smile that was expanding in his mouth.

"If my grandmother could ask for it every day, even without being asked, Grandma would hug me, right? But if it's the same mother." Dusk changed the look on his face. "Mom once said that I would never get a hug from her. Even in a dream. Grandma, I want to know where my dad is. Why didn't Grandma ever tell you about Dad? Grandma says I have a father, Grandma always gets angry when someone tells me I'm an illegitimate child. But I never know what my father is? Whose name? Stay where? Don't you want me to be born, Grandma?" Dusk railed against Patmi with a painful question.

Ms. Patmi who got such a question instantly stopped her activities. Staring at Dusk with pity, there was a look of a face full of hope there.

"We're home, yuk!" Ms. Patmi prefers to shut up and divert the conversation. Indeed, he did not want to make Dusk more hurt by the origin of his birth.

"If Grandma doesn't answer means, yes. I didn't want to be born into the world either. Then why was I born? Who was I born to?"

"It's not like that, son. Grandma will tell you everything when you're an adult. Grandma will tell me how you were born and separated from Dad. But not now, Dusk must be patient, yes." Ms. Patmi persuaded her granddaughter not to ask again.

"Patience? I'm impatient, aren't I, Grandma? Will it not be the same now or later? What if Grandma told me when I was growing up everything would change? If, yes. I'm gonna wait to grow up to hear Dad's story."

Ms. Patmi couldn't help but cry. Tears that had been hard-earned since he could not resist had wet the cheeks. Why is it so hard to make Dusk not ask his father? Why is it so difficult to mouth Bu Patmi tells the father of his grandson who until now he does not know how the shape and appearance? Where is he? Is he alive or dead? Is it family or not? Patmi doesn't know how to explain Dad to Caca.

Silent. Only the clang of the clock that continued to run dominated in the all-white room. The two different generations of humans seemed to be drifting in each other's minds. Until finally the door opened and displayed the figure of Aldi behind him.

"Are you ready to go home?" ask with spirit.

"Pakde, I've been waiting since. Sirde, I haven't left for work yet, have I? Let's go home now, then I'll go to work. I want to tell Mom that I had a dream last night in Mom's arms." Dusk ran towards Aldi and tugged at the clothes of the man who was looking at him pity.

"A sufficient, Twilight! Since you told me that, asking about your father has been non-stop. You know not that question hurt Grandma. What is Grandma's love lacking for you? Granny is sad to see you like this." Ms. Patmi sobs slowly. It was his heartache to see the beautiful Dusk want to meet his mother. Because he knew, Dusk would still be hurt by his son even though he had to sacrifice his life for Manda.

"I was also hurt to hear Grandma's answer that was never honest with me. I'm the only child who doesn't know his father. Even just the name I don't know. Am I wrong to ask about my parents? My grandmother doesn't love me." Dusk ran out of the room crying.

"Hold on, honey!" Aldi ran after Dusk with a shout. Patmi also ran very fast.

Bruk!

Patmi's mother fell for running too fast at an age that is no longer young.

"Astaghfirullah, Mother." Aldi went back and helped his mother, helped her stand up and she lost track of Dusk.