Dusk And Suffering

2. Wants Death

"Astaghfirullah, twilight. Awake, Son. Aldi don't stay there, lift Dusk. He's feverish!" patmi's mother is still hysterical.

Aldi who was aware of the reprimand from his mother immediately shot into the bathroom and brought the body of Dusk to the room.

"You're outrageous, how could he handle this same kid himself. I don't know where his conscience is, this little boy doesn't know anything, why he's not constantly torturing his little body. Don't shut up Aldi. Call the midwife here, you don't see her pale!" Ms. Patmi keeps nagging while looking for a change of clothes for Dusk.

While Aldi who suddenly dazed can only move according to the mother who every day nagged because of the behavior of his youngest child.

With teary eyes and a sorely sliced heart, Patmi's mom changed into a drenched twilight outfit. I don't know how long the child was in the room with his mother in the bathroom, until his beautiful face paled and high heat body temperature. While waiting for the midwife to come, the no longer young woman compresses the forehead of Dusk with a cloth soaked in warm water.

"I'm sorry Grandma failed to educate your mother, son. I don't know when you will have to endure this pain. What if Grandma is gone, how will you be, Dusk." Bu Patmi sobbed while continuing to compress the forehead of Dusk.

Not long after, came Aldi and the village midwife. The midwife immediately gave an examination as in general.

"The temperature is very high, Mom. Here I give a medicine to reduce the heat, if it will not fall also his body temperature within two days immediately take it to the health center, yes ma'am." The midwife gave him some strips of medicine.

Manda came as the midwife prepared to leave. They looked at each other for a moment then continued their respective steps.

"Manda, where are you?" ask Patmi's mom after the midwife actually left.

"Get out a minute, what's up, ma'am? Why do you look so angry? Mother's favorite grandson do it? Why do you still help her? I should've let you die!" I don't know how much Manda said the swear sentence for his own son.

"PEOPLE!" With a face of wrath Aldi walked closer to his brother who used to be his favorite. "You're a Mother. Take care of your words, what should I say that Dusk is completely innocent in this matter. Nor did he ask to be born the result of rape, but fate brought him here. Animals never treat this to their children, but look at you. Change before you really lose twilight. Transform yourself before that regret comes, Manda!" Aldi rampaged to his sister because he felt that he had been patient enough to face his sister who turned into a person who had no heart.

"You don't know what it's like to be me, brother. My future is ruined because of him. I have no future just because I failed to wipe him off the face of this earth. I'll never regret it if he really dies, that's exactly what I want." Manda did not lose screaming. He spoke out loud in front of his sister's face.

Manda's cry made Dusk wake up. No one was aware that the little boy was disturbed by the screaming sounds of the residents of the house. He did not make a sound, the child tried to sit by holding his head that had always felt spinning.

"If Dusk dies can it change everything? Can you go back ten years and fix everything? CAN? if Dusk could choose he would also choose to die rather than have a mother like you. If you eliminate him now can you guarantee that your future will be beautiful? Who guarantees it? If you can't love her, at least don't hurt her, Manda. Is this what you taught us?" Aldi's voice is still rising. He had completely exhausted his patience with his sister.

Manda sobbed, her tears falling. All this time Aldi never snapped at him this rough. Even when Aldi knew she was pregnant to try to abort Aldi was still beside Manda with a million affection.

"You snapped at me like this because of that son of a bitch, brother? Do you not love me? All your love you've given to that bastard?" asked Manda weakly, without hearing the answer from the older brother, he shuffled into his room. Spilling her cries on an age-eaten weathered mattress.

In another room, there is a young boy figure who is also reducing clear fluid through the eyes. No day without crying for Dusk. Her days were always filled with tears, and she did not even know what made her smile. He has no memories of that at all.

"Manda!" Aldi was still not satisfied to scold his sister, he went to catch up with Manda, but was prevented by the Mother.

"Al, no. Leave him alone, you want to rage until how well he will not change before his heart is knocked to change. I haven't known her since she was pregnant. Poor twilight if you yell, he.." Bu Patmi's words stopped when he reached the doorstep of his room.

"Aren't you awake, honey? We ate it up taking medicine, yeah." Ms. Patmi sat on the edge of the bed and stroked the top of her grandson's head slowly. "You must have heard Mom and Pakde fighting, huh?" guess Miss Patmi.

"Sir, why didn't I just die to make Mom happy? My presence here only makes you suffer. Why would I live to make Mom unhappy, Grandma? I want to see Mom happy, I want to see Mom's smile that I never knew." Dusk sank his head again in the folds of his hand.

"No, you can't say that, son. Someone's life and death is already in order, why do you want your own death? Don't you love Grandma?"

"But you don't want me here" said Dusk again sobbing.

Aldi, who had been standing in the doorway, felt guilty for speaking loudly and being heard by his nephew. Surely the child feels heartache that there is no cure to heal. The wound that continues to gap and is left, the longer it widens and the wound is flush with salt water every day.

"Darling, you can't talk like that. Try Pakde to ask you. Are you the same as Grandma and Pakde?" Aldi came over and picked up the ten-year-old boy.

"Dear."

"If you love, you shouldn't talk like that. Because what? The twilight speech just hurt Grandma and Pakde. We don't want to lose you, son. Bude same Dek Gandi also love Dusk. You want to make us all sad? Want to make Grandma same Pakde cry? Would you like to see us cry?"

The twilight shook weakly. "But Mom will be angry if you look at me" he added.

"Mommy only, right? You heard Pakde, yes. Someday I will love you. Sure is! Believe the same, sir. That time will come sooner or later. I will love you for sure. Plus the patience, yes dear."

"It's only my death that makes you happy when you see me."