Assalamu'Alaikum Love

Misrepresenting

Gibran

“Vile women for vile men, and vile men for vile women (after all), good women for good men and good men for good women (after all). They are clean of what people accuse. They obtained a glorious pardon and sustenance (heaven)” (Qur’an 24;26)

Just when I reached the 26th verse of the letter of An-Nuur which he brought and addressed to me and Faza, it felt like a hand had suddenly slapped me in the face.

“Good women for good men.”

I even remembered the short conversation I had with Mr. Ridwan, the imam of the campus mosque who at that time approached me who was confused thinking about Faza.

It felt like I was being reprimanded by two people at once at one time. By the advice of Mr. Ridwan, and by the recitation of the verses of the Qur'an that are being read by abah.

It made me lower my head and take a deep breath to expel the tightness that suddenly filled my chest. I was wondering if I really deserved to be the husband of a girl like Faza? Am I indeed ‘good men’ as Allah mentioned in An-Nuur's letter to ‘good women’ like Faza? Would I still be a priest to a woman like Faza?

“But everything is always workable, sir. It is never too late to learn to be a gentleman and to accompany a sholihah woman. Wouldn't your goals be the same? Together reach ridho and his jannah.”

In fact, there was still such a great fear lingering in my heart that even though my marriage to Faza was only a matter of hours. I'm afraid I can't be a good husband to Faza.

I'm afraid I can't guide Faza to be better than I ever asked for when I proposed to him. Although I have learned a lot and reopened the religious books that I had once kept, still I feel that my knowledge is still not how much compared to the science that Faza got in the boarding school. Just because I was a lecturer, it didn't necessarily make me feel worthy of being a husband to a Faza Aulia.

“Getting a woman like Faza to be your wife automatically makes your responsibilities bigger and heavier, Gibran.” This time around in my head was the speech of my father as the man sat with me on the porch when he arrived at papa, mama, Renata and Haris in Surabaya. “It doesn't mean that you marry another girl and then make your responsibilities less, son. Only, you certainly understand that people with a religious understanding such as Faza will pay attention to every step that you will take. That is why you must also continue to learn to understand religion more than your current understanding. At least you can guide your wife to be better than before.”

Words that again make me feel slapped. Then how can I guide Faza if my understanding of religious knowledge is still far from the understanding that Faza has?

“Continue improving yourself even though later your status has become a husband and family head. It is never too late to always learn. Because in the end, a wife will not be asked about what her husband and children do.” Again, the advice he gave made me realize that one important thing, that later held accountable by God is a priest, not his master. “While a husband will be held accountable for what his wife and children do. Everything you do and teach your wife and children, will be held accountable by God in the hereafter.”

For the umpteenth time, my common sense tries to explain that what you say is not the least bit wrong. It's just that I'm still missing attention and trying to understand that marriage is not as simple as legalizing bed relations. It is not about endless romance. There is a great thing that I will bear on my shoulders once the witnesses declare that the qabul Ijab that I do with the guardian of my wife is legitimate. Because at that time, the responsibility of a daughter I married was no longer in the hands of her father, but had passed into my hands in a born and inner way.

“Now I know why you chose to fight for your own student instead of accepting one of the many adult women you have been betrothed to, man.”

Even Haris who was sitting next to me whispered when it was Faza's turn to sit behind the curtain to read Ar-Ruum's letter. Makes me just respond with a thin smile while continuing to pay attention to every verse read by my future wife so melodious and beautiful.

I don't know since when my principles changed and my view on marriage is not as narrow as it used to be when I was still living in Jakarta. I don't know since when I changed the view of marriage from just legalizing the relationship of the bed to the way to reach God's heaven together. Either since I met Faza or long before that. When I realized it, I had already assumed that marriage was not only a matter of the world, but of the Hereafter.

“So mas Gibran's lecturer Faza on campus, to?” again I felt like a stranger who had just come out of hiding when I asked him to gather with the young coral cadets after the study was over. Talking about a lot of things that sometimes Haris and I have trouble following their conversation. Not only because their chatter is not clear, but because sometimes they all chat with regional languages that I do not understand.

“Dan abah Rashid is not wrong choose a daughter-mantu.” The mixture of pride and dwarfism again felt when praise for praise came from the mouths of these young men. It's just that such compliments do not necessarily make me puff my chest and feel that I am the greatest man here.

“Which of you no one ever intends to apply for Faza?” and I almost choked on my mouth tea liquid when Haris suddenly asked that unimportant question.

“Don't dare to mas, Faza kan jebolan hut, teacher ngajinya children in the mosque, prospective scholars again. We're quite satisfied with being Faza's childhood friend, kok.” Replied one of the young men who sat not far from me while reaching for a musical instrument behind him. The answer that invites the laughter of his friends and makes me smile thinly.

“But make no mistake, out of many of his childhood friends Faza, Karim is the most shocked and heartbroken when Rashid's brother suddenly announced that Faza was getting married.” The other young man I don't know what his name is. Making the young man named Karim look annoyed and claw his head. Again, it makes me laugh to see the behavior of these young men in front of me.

“His childhood friends Faza?” I don't care either. It began to realize that since then these young men were talking about Faza as if they had known Faza for a long time.

“Iyap, in fact the future wife mas Gibran is not really as it looks, mas.” This time it was Revelation that chimed in on my question after sitting in one of the empty seats not far from me. “And Karim is one of his close friends Faza. They used to hunt crickets after school and play firecrackers every night in Ramadan. The two of them had even been chased by Pak kyai because of riots by lighting firecrackers when tarawih prayer was taking place.” And Revelation recounted her little sister's childhood so passionately that she was opening the disgrace of her mortal enemy. Makes me grimace at not believing the Revelation story while Haris starts laughing uncontrollably.

“Ndak chased also times mas, pak kyai just poking on the terrace of the mosque while nagging indistinctly.” bela Karim while scratching his nape with his left hand misbehaving.

“That's because you and Faza ran away as soon as Pak Kyai came out, try if you guys stay in place, you must understand the same mosquito flow, Pak Kyai.” pursue Revelation that is again overwritten with laughter by all of us.

“Hunting crickets and playing firecrackers?” is it true that a Faza Aulia who always looks graceful with her long and wide robe every time on campus had such a childhood? Hunting crickets and playing firecrackers. Aren't those two activities commonly done by boys? Again I could only grimace and laugh strangely at a loss for words. Really, the fact that my future wife's childhood was so unique made me inexhaustible.

“It's actually like that, mas.” Answer the Revelation again after inscribing the contents of the glass in his hand. “Sometimes I think that Faza is actually a boy trapped in a girl's body. I feel like I have a younger brother named after a girl.”

“So that's the reason why you guys sent Faza to go to Blora?” asked Haris who had been laughing like an ignorant man since hearing Faza's childhood story.

“Not really. Abah never forced Faza to go into the house. Abah offers Faza a goiter and he is willing, which is why he left for the cottage at the age of ten.” Answer the revelation that made Haris nod like a fool. At first I also thought that Faza was forced to go to his tenth age by abah. “Makes Karim cry and languish for days at a time for being left behind by the only silly and crazy female friend like Faza.”

“You guys are that close?”

“We used to be close to the mas before Faza left for the cottage in Blora. But after that it was no longer. Faza must have known the limits for association with the opposite sex.” Obviously Karim was in a sorry tone as if I was going to get angry and sue him for being a close friend of my future wife.

“Lucky because now Faza has repented, mas.” The timbal of Revelation which was again greeted with laughter of the young people including Karim. “At least this is a warning for Gibran mas not to be surprised if tomorrow your children like to hunt crickets and play firecrackers. Because it certainly descends from umminya.”

It felt like I was having a bachelor party by gathering with Faza's childhood friends who turned out to be all boys. Really, when the children of elementary school age whine to buy Barbie dolls and play cooking, my future wife actually runs around in the rice field to hunt crickets.

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