Assalamu'Alaikum Love

Rival

Fazas

I still talk to ummi Rania, the wife of the imam of this mosque to talk about tahfidz al-qur’an program for children on the terrace of the mosque when I see mas Wahyu standing next to the mosque's gate. Occasionally nod at the mosque worshipers who have just finished performing congregational prayers.

At first I thought that Wahyu had also just performed Islamic prayers in the mosque when the thought disappeared because I saw Wahyu still wearing his work shirt. That means my brother came to the mosque to pick me up. But one thing I like about Wahyu, he would not call me and choose to wait when he saw me talking to ummi Rania or anyone on the terrace of the mosque.

“Mbak Za's. Called by Wahyu.” But I think this time there was something important until Azka, one of my disciples was asked by the Revelation to call me.

“Iya, please tell Wahyu to wait a little while again dear.” I said to Azka and asked the boy to run towards the Revelation. What important thing do you want Revelation to talk to me about?

“We'll connect tomorrow, Za. There seems to be something important that Revelation wants to talk about with you.”

“Iya, umm. God willing tomorrow we connect again.”

And ummi Rania was indeed too polite to keep me on the terrace of the mosque and invite me to chat while at the gate of the mosque my older brother was waiting for me with an impatient face. That's why this woman asked me to go to Revelation and connect to our conversation next time.

“What's up, mas?”

“Abah wants you to go home soon.” I unconsciously took a deep breath when I heard the reply of the Revelation and followed my older brother who had walked ahead of me.

“What mistakes have I made, mas?”

“You will know soon, deck.”

“Mas, I'm afraid.” But instead of staying silent and waiting until I got home, I pulled up the sleeves of Revelation and asked her for an explanation of why I asked Wahyu to pick me up at the mosque.

True, in fact the incident a week ago made my courage to meet with my brother increasingly shriveled. I didn't even dare even just to return my gaze when we accidentally met our gaze. But the Revelation grabbed my right hand and held it tightly rather than choosing to explain to me what was happening.

“Pak Gibran?” ask myself when I and Wahyu have reached the gate of the house and found a white sports outlander that is familiar to me. Unknowingly holding the hand of Revelation and looking at her with question marks. There are a lot of outlander sports in this city, but really, I've even memorized the license plate number of the car. But again the Revelations just nodded and pulled my hand in without letting go until we entered the house.

And the heat in my eyes almost became a cry that I could not stand when I raised my face and found two men sitting in the living room chair with my brother and mother.

A man in a light blue shirt who was also looking at me and another man whose age I guessed was only a few years below. Gibran Wibisana's. The man who since two weeks ago never failed to make my chest feel tight and my eyes always heat up. He was there. Sitting in front of my brother and smiling faintly at me for a few seconds before lowering his head again. But even if it's only a few seconds, I can see a soft glint that I find hard to translate on Mr. Gibran's face.

“Sitting nduk.”

It was like deja vu, when my mother asked me to sit next to her while my brother was still holding on in silence. Just like a week ago when Arifin came to my brother and mother to say that she had canceled our wedding plans.

It's just that, right now there's a sense that I'm having a hard time explaining when a moment ago my gaze and Mr. Gibran's were crooked. There is also something I really want to ask my brother or mother about why there is a Mr. Gibran in my house. But, in fact, all I can do is shut up and wait until someone gives me an explanation about the situation tonight.

“Include nduk, this is Rudi,” started mom by turning to the man who sat next to Mr. Gibran and made me turn my head and nod faintly to the man named om Rudi. “And besides Gibran, you certainly already know who mas Gibran it is.”

“Begini, Faza.” This time it was a man named om Rudi who started talking after clearing his throat a few times. “I mean coming here with Gibran already told your brother, but it feels unfair if you don't know anything while everything has to do with you.” maybe this is too much and I seem too confident, but I think I can guess the direction of the conversation om Rudi. But again all I can do is just shut up and look at the abah who is still silent and occasionally sighs. While mother still embraces my shoulder and stroked my back a few times.

“Om here represents Mr. Hendri Wibisana to propose you to be Gibran's wife.” Said Rudi again that did not fail to make me frown and look towards Mr. Gibran. Only to find the calm face of the man who occasionally also took a deep breath.

“Abah left all decisions to you, nduk.” Imbuh mother who seemed to understand what I was feeling, while I just turned towards the abah for the umpteenth time and hoped that there was a sentence coming out of my mouth. At least the man will say something about the arrival of Rudi and Mr. Gibran tonight.

“Abah?” mulaiku with a timid tone. Making everyone, including Mr. Gibran look at me. “Didn't you want to say something?” and it took me a full minute to answer my question after taking a deep breath and exhaling it back slowly.

“You want to say what, Za?” ask me who makes me even more clueless.

“Didn't your mother say that all decisions are in your hands? Abah does not want to farm you a second time.” Continue with a cold tone I have never heard of. Abah had never spoken in such a tone before, and hearing a father speak in such a cold, unrelenting tone made her daughter feel like she was being stabbed with an indignation. Even so with me who could not hold back tears hearing the words.

“Please don't be like this, bah.” And I didn't even realize when I got out of my chair and sat down in front of my brother. “Please don't be like this. Za don't want to disappoint you a second time.”

“No. Abah was not punishing Za, bah. But Za also knows that you half-heartedly accept Mr. Gibran's proposal and leave all decisions to Za.” Although I can vaguely catch my mother's sobs that seem to compensate for my tears that began to fall even though they were not accompanied by sobs.

“Now let me ask you, Za. Didn't you feel humiliated when Arifin suddenly canceled your wedding plans on the grounds that you had confessed your feelings to a man?” now I'm starting to understand why you look so indifferent to me this week. About why you always choose to be quiet and take the decision to send me back to the cottage. “And now, after all that Arifin has said, it's sudden that Gibran's son comes to propose to you. So what do you have to say, Za?”

“Sorry, bah. Please forgive Za.”

“Pak, all is not like what Mr. Rashid thinks.” This time I heard Mr. Gibran open his voice even though I do not know how to express it because I was still gathered in front of my brother.

“Arifin did tell me that she had cancelled her wedding plans with Faza a week ago. But by Allah, my desire to propose to Faza was there long before that day. Even long before Faza confessed his feelings to me. So please don't think of it as if Faza wanted the wedding plan to be cancelled.”

A few moments of silence until what was heard in the living room of my family was just the ticking of a clock that hung on the corner of the room. Letting his pulsing voice fill the cold gap between us all.

“How can you guarantee that before this you did not have any special relationship?” it was like a hammer hit me in the head when I calmly asked that question to me and Mr. Gibran. “How can you make me believe that your marriage with Arifin is not part of your plans?”

“Well, that dissident is Faza in my eyes? Just because a wedding plan is void, then you rate as low as that daughter?” my chest tightened as I heard the voice of the Revelation that was heard restraining the anger. Really, I don't want my older brother to yell at me just to defend me.

“I swear that there was no connection between me and Faza before this sir. We are only limited to lecturers and students, no more than that.” was so with Mr. Gibran who sounded holding back anger from every sentence he said to abah.

“For God's sake, bah. If by rejecting the proposal of Mr. Gibran can make you believe, Faza will reject this proposal.” ah, again I hurt many people with this sentence.

“If by leaving for Blora can make abah believe, then Za will leave for Blora right now, bah. Just so you believe that Faza is still the abah's daughter who has never touched any man except abah and mas Wahyu.” I slowly continued my sentence even though it was accompanied by sobs that I was increasingly unable to control.

Really, it hurts so much to get such an accusation from you. From the man who taught me aqidah and morals as a Muslim woman. From the man who taught me that self-reliance and honor are the best things a woman can do.

But in the end, no matter how much my heart hurts because of the accusation, I still can't hate you. I grabbed my left hand from above his lap and kissed him with reverence. Silently, I wanted to understand that I was still the Faza Aulia whom she was proud of as a daughter.

“Faza will not marry as long as abah does not approve of Faza.” wedding My whisper in the end. And I didn't realize when he raised his right hand and stroked the top of my head. Asking me to get up even though I refused and to stay in front of him.

“Jawab abah questions with your honest heart, Za.” This time the voice was softer than before. “Are you going to be happy by marrying nak Gibran?”

“Insyaa Allah, bah.”

“Can you assure me that you will not be forced like yesterday when you accept the proposal of nak Gibran and you are willing to be his wife?”

“Bah,” I found a shady face and a knotty smile there as I lifted my face and examined my face. Letting his wrinkled hands wipe away the tears on my face before looking down and kissing my forehead for long.

“Don't say things you don't want to hear, nduk. Abah believes that you are still your daughter who is awake and will not do such a thing.”

“So essentially accept Gibran's application for Faza or not, bah?” it is really typical of the Revelation who always has difficulty translating the abah attitude until he needs to ask a question that actually already has the answer. Makes me laugh a little before getting up and hugging my old brother. Feeling the warmth and peace of a man who soon relinquishes his responsibility for me to another man.

“Thank you, bah.”

“Take Faza as your sholihah wife, son of Gibran. Abah your blessing to marry and abah ridhoi your marriage.”

“Thank you, sir. God willing, I guide and I take care of Faza as well as I can.”

There was a smile of relief on my mother's face and in Revelation as I let go of my arms and sat down next to my mother. Even so with Mr. Gibran who smiled at me and made me bow in shame.

I thought I wanted to pinch my bell and ask, is it true that Gibran Wibisana sitting across from me is my future husband?

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