Assalamu'Alaikum Love

Riding Prince

Fazas

I was just about to push through the gate when my attention was distracted by a black car parked in my own yard. The black car that I'm familiar with because I've seen it several times, whether it's when the owner of the car visits the house, or when the owner of the car picks me up at the campus last Friday.

“What's up?” ask myself while taking my phone out of my shirt pocket and observing my yard to find the existence of black picanto belongs to Wahyu mas. My feelings are starting to feel strange, which is why I chose to hold my steps and contact the Revelation.

“Wa’alaikumussalam, mas. Mas Wahyu where?” I asked without further ado as I glanced at the clock that was coiled around my left wrist.

A week had passed since the incident at the campus parking lot that afternoon. The incident that makes me feel good about myself every time I go to campus and think that in that place I will meet with Mr. Gibran. And during this week I have always taken refuge behind the back of the Revelation from the wrath. It was a childish sound, when I chose to take refuge behind my brother's back instead of confessing to my mother and brother that I had made a mistake for confessing my feelings to a man, while the confession was known by my future husband.

“Mas still on the road, what's up?” I took a deep breath and exhaled back quietly as I faintly heard the roar of the vehicle from across there.

“Mas Arifin is at home, mas.”

“Then? You don't dare to leave the room?”

“Not. I just got home from college, and I don't dare to go in.”

Of course I did not dare to just knock on the main door and pass into my own room. Abah was clearly more defensive of Arifin than I was if the bad possibility that I was worried about was really true. As for mother, I'm sure she will obey what her husband wants even though she knows that your desire could hurt my feelings.

But staying silent in front of the gate was also not a good choice because I was impressed so avoid Arifin mas when I knew that there was a big problem that we had to solve.

“Log in, deck. Soon to home.”

“But mas,”

“Bismillah, whatever happens in the house later, just be sure if it is the best for all of us.”

I have no intention of making the Revelation mas a shield so that I may continue to be shielded from the raging. It's just that, sometimes I really need someone who can understand me like they understand a young girl with all the inner upheaval she is feeling.

And just like my prejudices a few minutes ago, you were even reluctant to answer my greetings as I stepped in and observed the three people who were talking about something in the living room. Mother who looked down and brother who only watched me in silence, while mas Arifin who answered my greetings and smiled faintly as I nodded briefly towards him.

“What's up, bah?” tanyaku did not stop because too caught up with this really bad situation. Well, of course the situation this afternoon is not good because if the situation is good, you can not put on a face like that and emit a dark aura like this.

“Sit, Za.”

“Bu,” this time mom raised her face and smiled at me. But really, it wasn't a happy smile like the one I saw on that woman's face a few weeks ago.

“There are some things that Arifin wants to talk about, nduk.”

At first I thought Arifin would talk about our wedding which was planned to be held in five weeks. When I finished my final semester exam and had enough time to attend our wedding.

At first, I thought that Arifin would talk about wedding invitations, qabul ijab events and receptions, to the wedding clothes that we will wear later. At first I also thought that this man would talk about the dowry he would give me according to what I asked. Just a temporary thought, before Mas Arifin started everything he wanted to talk to me and brother also with mom.

“Cancelled?” I muttered in a soft voice. It was so slow that perhaps the mother sitting next to me could not hear him clearly.

Mas Arifin was talking about our actual wedding plan to be held in five weeks. Yes, I said ‘actually’ because two minutes ago this man said something that my family really didn't want to hear.

Mas Arifin did talk about our wedding plans, but this man is not talking about the building, wedding dress, reception or guests that we will invite.

“Sorry for disappointing my mom and Faza.” He said, avoiding eye contact with me.

“Why, mas?” tanyaku. It is not surprising what Arifin mas said, it's just that my feelings became numb instantly so that I can not feel any emotions at this time.

“Because I don't want to hurt you more deeply, Za.”

For a week since the events of Friday afternoon the other day, I always tried to be as normal as I could be, nor did I stop convincing myself that this was the best path God had chosen for me.

For one week I always tried to convince myself that marriage with Mas Arifin was already the destiny that God set for me. And hearing Arifin say the reason why she couldn't continue with our wedding plans for such an absurd reason really kept me from thinking.

“What kind of injury?” I asked still in the same tone as before. What kind of wound did he mean? Did Arifin secretly cheat behind my back? Or because this man has secretly proposed to another girl besides me?

“You understand and understand I mean.”

“What's because of that recognition?” ask again. Choosing to examine the reaction of the Arifin mas rather than looking towards the abah who I believe is demanding an explanation for the question I posed to the Arifin mas. “For God's sake mas, there is no intention whatsoever of confessing it.”

“Yes, I know that there is no meaning to that confession, Za. But I'm well aware that continuing with our wedding plans will only make you burdened.”

“Mas,”

“Arifin, explain to abah what the meaning of ‘recognition’ is.” there is nothing I can do anymore besides looking down and sighing deeply when you have opened your voice and demanded an explanation to the Arifin mas. I know very well that after this, there will be something big going on between me and my brother, but I also can't keep taking cover behind the back of Revelation and acting like I didn't do anything wrong.

“Za wrong, bah.” And I have to admit it. Either after this you're going to run amok on me or you're going to exile me to the cottage. I can't let Mas Arifin explain to you what happened to us a week ago. “Za told someone that Za liked it.”

“Please do not blame Faza for the cancellation of our wedding plans, bah.” Pursue mas Arifin with a voice pleading with abah. While beside the brother, the mother began to lose her words and only beristighfar repeatedly. “All this is purely Arifin's decision. Arifin cannot marry a girl who has no feelings of love for Arifin, bah. So please don't blame Faza.”

“Why are you guys playing something this big?” there was no shouting, nor was there any swearing coming out of my mouth for him to point at me or at Arifin. The man simply leaned his back on the back of the chair and sighed deeply.

“False arifin, bah. Arifin should have asked Faza first about the wedding plans and not arbitrarily set our wedding date without Faza.”'s approval

“And why should you tell a man that you like him while you have a husband, Za?”

“Already bah, all happened because indeed Faza and Arifin have not been paired. This has become a provision of Allah.” Irresistible mother opened her voice and touched the back of her hand which seemed to hold anger.

Yes, of course you will be angry at the situation as it is today. There is no reason for you not to get angry when placed in a position where my wedding plans and the Arifin that he and Mr. Burhan had been arranging since the day had been canceled because of my selfishness. And I, I cannot think at all of a way that you can forgive me for the wrong I have done.

“Sorry for disappointing abah.”

Ah, in the end I still disappoint you even though all this time I tried not to disappoint the man. All this time I have always obeyed his will and wished I could become a field of reward for him. All this time I tried never to oppose my desire including marrying a man of his choice. Merely, I don't know if the pride that you've built over me collapsed instantly today.

“Such feelings are not true, Za. And you also do not forget that you ever said it to you.” Saying abah after sighing many times without wanting to look at me for a little something. “After this semester, maybe you should take a break from college and return to Blora. Calm your mind and organize your feelings at hut.” Connect while getting out of his chair. Leaving me who was still bowing my head deeply and Arifin who was also still silent.

So, is this the punishment for my confession the other day? Is this the best way that I can control my feelings for Mr Gibran?

Exiled for a confession to a taste.

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