Assalamu'Alaikum Love

Deal

Fazas

Fridays.

Usually I will be so excited every time the adzan maghirb reverberates on Thursday and remembers that tomorrow is Friday. But today I feel even lazy to get up and walk towards the bathroom even though the clock has shown at nine in the morning.

Today I don't have a lecture schedule, which is why I choose to laze around at home instead of going to college like the previous fridays. And of course the reason why I chose to stay at home like a lazy person is because I don't know what to do when I meet Mr. Gibran later.

“Tumben you're lethargic once a Friday? Usually the most excited on Friday.” Mother even felt the need to know what made her daughter choose to laze at home instead of going to campus as usual.

“So not feeling well, bu.” I wasn't completely lying because the truth is my throat felt really uncomfortable since I woke up at three in the morning.

“Minum medicine, nduk. Hot like you.” is really typical of mothers who even need to stick their cheeks on my forehead. “Don't go to college first, yeah. Rest at home.”

“Za is okay, ma'am. After all today had to go to the Tempo office to deliver the proposal. So it has to be to campus.” It was me who made my mother take a deep breath before passing by and made me a glass of warm chocolate milk. Again the mother understood that her daughter was not a typical spoiled child who did not go to campus just because she was a little unwell.

Actually I am still excited as usual, although every time I think that later I will meet and together with Mr. Gibran go to the Tempo office makes my spirit a little out. Even so with the spirit I got from my meeting with Ainun yesterday afternoon. It feels like today that dominates my feelings is precisely the turmoil that once again fills my heart.

“If you really do not want the man your brother chose, yes you should have said this from the beginning, Za.” Even the answer Ainun gave me yesterday afternoon was back in my head. The answer that Ainun gave when I said about the application from the Arifin mas is none other than the son of my best friend.

Ah, I forgot to say that now Ainun Nisa has transformed into a mature female figure that is so graceful. Ainun was pregnant with her first child after marrying Rendra two years ago. I knew that Ainun was indeed much more mature than me even though we were only a year apart. But I was really shocked when the boy said that he decided to get married at the age of 19. And with such a huge change in Ainun made me look more like his little sister instead of his go-to friend.

“Only because the man is the son of your brother's friend, not then you have to accept it ‘kan?” There was no judgmental highlight from the gaze that Ainun gave me when I said that I halfheartedly accepted the ta’aruf offer that Arifin mas gave me. “It is not good if you accept it half-heartedly, Za. It will only hurt Arifin's feelings, as well as yours.” Ainun even got up from his seat and sat beside me so that he could hug me. The warm embrace of Ainun Nisa has not changed at all. It was still the same as three years ago when we parted at the cottage gate.

“I just don't want to hurt abah, Nun.”

“I'm sure that your brother also does not want to force you to accept the proposal, Za.” It's true that you never forced me to accept an offer to do ta’aruf with Arifin mas. It's just that, again I can't refuse because I don't want to disappoint you. “Households are a field of worship for a lifetime. And the condition of worship is sincere. Then what kind of worship will you live later if you are not sincere?”

My heart slipped hearing Ainun's words that felt like an invisible hand slapping me. Why can I forget something so important?

“Liking someone?”

“He's my lecturer at the campus. You remember the guy I loaned the umbrella to when we were at Cepu station in December four years ago?” this time Ainun who frowned did not understand hearing my answer at once. Either shocked to find out I liked my own lecturer or shocked at questions about our past four years ago.

“That young man?”

“Name Gibran Wibisana. And he's been a lecturer on my campus since the beginning of this semester.”

I didn't know what Ainun was thinking until he chose to be silent as he continued to gently stroke my back.

“He knows that you are the daughter who borrowed him an umbrella four years ago?” ainun asked after almost five minutes we were both silent and just observing each other. While I just nodded answering Ainun's question.

It felt like I was being judged on my confession a few minutes ago despite the fact that Ainun had not done anything like that at all.

“Why did you accept ta’aruf offer with Arifin while you already like other men, Za?”

“Please don't judge me like this, Nun.”

“I am not judging you. I said it because I love you.” I-i know. Of course I knew that Ainun did not judge me at all and he said all this because he loved me. Merely, my suddenly prettiest emotions made me say that to Ainun.

“Think again about ta’aruf's offer, Za. Do not let you get sin for doing something that will hurt Arifin.” Said Ainun again after sighing many times. “Also about your feelings. If you are sincere about your feelings for Gibran, then there is no harm if you tell him directly.”

Telling Mr Gibran directly about my feelings for him? How am I supposed to tell you about my feelings if I just look at him I don't dare?

* * * * *