Assalamu'Alaikum Love

Forward Undaunted

Fazas

For the umpteenth time I subconsciously turned towards the door of the faculty room from the sofa I was sitting on. I hope my eyes catch someone I've been waiting for since this morning. The one who made me feel uneasy two days ago and ended up making me keep looking at the door of the faculty room every time it opened. To find out who opened the door. Is he the one I'm waiting for or someone else. Just to make me take a deep breath when I realized that what just came out of the faculty room wasn't him.

“Where the hell?”

Actually I would not be upset like this if only the Wahyu mas did not tell me about his departure to Jakarta last Friday. Maybe I would be normal if only Wahyu told me about the reason why he had to go to Jakarta after we returned from KUA on Friday.

“Ke Jakarta? Why Gibran to Jakarta, mas?” my much at that time.

Well, it feels strange that I keep calling him with the call ‘pak’ while five more days inshaa Allah we will get married. Despite the fact that I have to look down embarrassed every time I call him with a call ‘mas’ because I am not used to it yet. But that's not what's important now, what's important is what he did in Jakarta to not come to campus today? What business should he finish in Jakarta to seem rushed so?

“Tomorrow you ask yourself why mas Gibran is in a hurry to leave for Jakarta ahead of your wedding day.”

“Mas Gibran told Wahyu about why he suddenly went to Jakarta?”

“Iya. But Gibran did not want to tell you the reason for going to Jakarta.”

“Why is that?”

“Because Gibran wants you to know from his own mouth, Za. Not from mas.”

And that was the answer to Revelation before my older brother asked me to stop asking because he wouldn't answer. The answer that made me angry and upset since yesterday Friday until today.

“What are you doing in Jakarta so you have to keep it a secret from me?”

But compared to me who is careless and upset, it is actually more appropriate to say that I am worried about Gibran because the reality today is Tuesday and since yesterday I have not seen him on campus. It is true that during the final semester exams there are no lectures held. But still lecturers must still go to campus because sometimes they have to be an exam supervisor.

“What mas Gibran has not returned to Surabaya?” I asked myself after so many times looking at the faculty door but still I did not find Gibran there. Sighs quietly before turning on the phone which I turned off early in the morning and observed the screen for a long time. Just to get back to pissing because there's nothing I can do with it.

Gibran and I have never exchanged mobile numbers and Gibran has only asked about myself through abah and Revelation, which is why I cannot contact him now. Well, even if I had her phone number, I'm not sure if I would have sent her a message and asked her what she was doing in Jakarta until she hadn't returned to Surabaya.

“Nothing bad happened ‘kan?”

I have to admit that I was worried that something bad happened to Gibran which made him unable to return to Surabaya immediately. No, I'm not worried that one of the members of the Wibisana extended family would not approve of Gibran marrying a boy like me and he would cancel our marriage. It's not like that. But it felt like there was something he was dealing with in Jakarta. Ah, maybe this is just my feeling that has indeed become melancholy once since yesterday.

“May you be well, mas. May Allah always protect you.”

It was four in the afternoon, and it was impossible for a lecturer to arrive at the campus at four in the afternoon while the final exam was going on like this. That's why I chose to get off the couch and hope that tomorrow Gibran has gone to college and stopped worrying me like this.

“No news yet to this day?” asked Hana who had just sat next to me and occasionally opened her management accounting book. Maybe Hana began to be uncomfortable with my anxiety that had continuously turned towards the door of the faculty of economics. Today's the final exam for my class, and if I haven't seen it yet, it means I have to wait until Monday for the wedding.

“Is it possible he has not returned from Jakarta?” I asked as if Hana knew everything about Mas Gibran.

Well, at first I did want to keep my marriage and Gibran's mas secret from Hana, but after I thought again it would be unfair if I didn't invite Hana while the girl knew how I felt from the start.

“Maybe like that, Za. Or there is an affair in Jakarta that must be completed immediately Mr. Gibran.” This time Hana chose to close the management accounting book that has been grabbing his attention.

“Not to worry so. Pak Gibran is not an SD child who will be lost due to travel Surabaya-Jakarta alone.” Hana continued, asking me to move and go to class because the second hour exam will start in five minutes.

“It's not so, Han. I'm just worried about it.”

“He is fine. Your wedding is still tomorrow Monday ‘kan? Or are you the one who misses your future husband too much?” hana whispered in a really annoying tone before passing from my chair and walking with laughter towards her seat in the number two row from behind. While I just clucked in annoyance before returning to take a deep breath.

Am I worrying too much about Gibran just because I haven't seen him in a week? Or is it true Hana said that I miss Gibran too much? I don't know, I just feel like I need to see her and make sure she's okay.

“Alhamdulillah,”

And it felt like there was a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders as from the direction of the corridor someone walked towards my examination hall with two brown maps in their hands. Entering my classroom after a few moments of conversation with Mr. Tamrin, the dean of the economics faculty who was inexplicably talking about what. And I don't care what they talk about. What matters now is that he's in this exam room with me and he's as fine as when I last saw him a week ago.

Again my heart warmed when I found a paper tucked between the question sheet and the answer sheet that Gibran shared with me. A sheet of paper with his signature handwriting that made me frown before I turned to him for an explanation. But of course Gibran did not respond to my gaze and chose to have a conversation with another student who teased him. It made me sigh slowly before opening the fold of the paper and reading the writing.

Assalamu’alaikum shalihah,

Last night Wahyu told the mas that you care for yourself after leaving to Jakarta. Rightly so? Sorry for going away all of a sudden and disappearing for a week and worrying you. But mas is fine. And I'm happy because you're okay too. Thanks for worrying about me.

Take care of your health. See you tomorrow monday.

Wassalamu’alaikum

Mas Gibran

The mixture of shame and relief again made me not dare to raise my head and look at Gibran who was sitting in front of the class. It was a great relief after I read this simple article.

If it's like this, then I have to name what I feel? Relieved by the fact that Gibran is fine, or a longing that is healed because I finally saw him today?

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