A FOOL! WHEN ARE WE GONNA MEET?

This Pain

As scheduled, my brother and mother were picked up by the trainers in the morning, before I left for work. Lisa, my other neighbors, including Aji, took my parents out and did a farewell like they all knew my parents. Abah hugged me long enough in silence I felt swept away by the tremors of her heart full of joy. So did my mom who hugged me and kissed my face for the first time after I grew up. At first I wanted to brush off, but I also considered the gazes of the people who were around, so I could only smile wryly letting mama do what she wanted.

It felt like my heart was very sore and sore, remembering myself who had been expecting his affection, but had always been ignored. Now that I was not expecting his affection anymore, why did he show this kind of loving attitude to me. Where is the belittling attitude that has always been shown to me, where has the cynical gaze haunted my life. Where is my proud and proud mother to me, where is all her cynicism that always humbles me in front of everyone.

"Huhuhoo..." I couldn't hold back my crying any longer

"Hey! How are you crying? It's not long either.." mama wiped my tears that I tepis reflexes.

"..." - ".I was surprised to find my reaction just now

"Udah.. don't cry.." he hugged me back before getting into the pickup car.

He would have known that I hated him, but he was sure that I loved him very much. Therefore the smile and the pushy look in his eyes looked at me impudently towards me who still felt pain to find the warm treatment. Abah also gave a warm hug before getting into the car with Mama, who was already seated and waving at the crowd. I forced a smile and returned the wave of their hands that looked sad for some reason.

"R! They don't leave forever.Have not cried anymore!" Said Lisa embracing me strongly as the car had disappeared in the crowd and then passed another vehicle

"..." - ".I forced a smile, and brushed aside Lisa's summary and immediately got into the cab I had ordered

"R! You don't want to be together...."

"Gue wants to be alone first!" I said cut out his sentence and immediately asked the road driver

I cried silently in the cab, ignoring the presence of the driver who was looking at me with concern from the rearview mirror. My heart is sick and very sore, more painful than losing the Ain sosk a few days ago. In the past, when I was expecting my mother's affection so much, I even begged under her feet, just for the sake of a little affection that I never got. But why is he now incising such a huge wound in my mind with just one kiss on my forehead, which still feels warm to this day.

I hated this warm feeling and warmth, I hated it all so much that I wanted to tear my face apart to remove this scar of his warm kiss. When I was a child I always instilled in the depths of my heart, if my mother loved him but in a different way than others, she was angry with me, because she loved me. He hit me because he loved me, so he didn't want me to get hurt, he looked at me with a hateful look, because he was confused about how to express his affection for me.

He laughed when I was sad, because he didn't want me to be discouraged just by a little sadness. He compares me to others, because he wants me to be strong. It was always so I thought when I found out that the different treatment of mama and mama was not favoritism, just not wanting to get too carried away with her affection to make me a proud and arrogant child. Now that thought led me to a success that exceeded my expectations which I had always underestimated.

I was proud of myself for looking too high at my mom back then, but now I know the truth. I already knew what I had been thinking was the opposite of reality, I wanted to laugh. But I don't want to show this weak side to the world, because I'm afraid I'm going to be knocked down by a job call sparrow. After arranging my heart and makeup to look like normal, I immediately got off the taxi and with a firm step immediately entered the office.

"Good morning, ma'am!" Say office girl to me

"Morning!" I returned their greetings with a friendly smile as usual

"That's how it is." I said as I continued to return smiles and nods at the heads of those who were friendly to me.

"Even if your eyes are a little puffy... But still look like a good employee!" Lisa patted my shoulder

"Oh yes..Tomorrow I move department!" I said before the elevator door closed as Lisa got off on her department floor

"Kok lo.." his sentence was cut off because the elevator door was closed, but a phone call from him immediately echoed in the bag

I told him a little bit of information before I hung up the phone call and headed straight to my desk to clear up some of the files I had to finish today. So that tomorrow I can clean up quietly before moving office, I glanced at the head who was picking up the phone from another company. He looks authoritative, but who would have guessed his lyrical behavior which of course influenced the wife.

As usual, a cup of coffee is always available on the table, but this time Rani bought it, as a farewell to this department. Rani's brother has been moved to headquarters today, and now at the table Mbak Rani sits a young man who looks drunk. Because the task is still not understood at all, handed over to a new child like himself. Ma'am Maya today seems to be late, because the table is still empty.

"If there's anything you want to ask! Ask, don't worry!" I said who was disturbed by the glare to ask for help

"Oh... okay! From earlier I was confused how to compile this file mbak...!" He said he immediately showed the file in his hand to my desk

"Hmmm.. This is a rather complicated file! Usually Rani's mbak compiles files like this... But if you arrange this section into the section here.then you set the column here to here! You gotit?" Ask after explaining at length

"Pa..understand Ma'am!" He said with a dumbfounded look because I explained it too detailed as possible

"If you understand why you're still here! Quickly do what you understand only. if there will be something you want to ask again!" I said while working on another report

"Eh.. well, thank you mbak!" Said he'd be back in the shirt soon

"Together!" I said as I continued to work on the report

Throughout my work, I felt uneasy about getting the gaze of the new employee and the glancing of the head pack that was watching me. They made me feel claustrophobic, but after Maya came I ignored the two men, because Maya invited me to discuss the report she was working on. I feel like I want to quickly change, and be free from this crowded room. The feeling of tightness that I feel now, that's because I remember what the chief did to the file I sent to apply for promotion.

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