A FOOL! WHEN ARE WE GONNA MEET?
THE FINAL DECISION OF EVERYTHING
"don't you go to work?"
"Hmmm... Aye!"
"Why?"
"... Because today I want to make amends for all my mistakes yesterday and last night... I still feel guilty..."
"..." - ".His words made my heart become troubled, whether I should open or close the gap in my heart
"Darling! You're really sorry, aren't you?"
"..." - ".I can only smile
"Looks like you haven't apologized to me..." He said he was sad and buried his face on my shoulder
"..." - ".I put down the spoon and fork, because my appetite was gone
His nature that likes to change at any time like this always makes me chaotic and confused how to behave. Just a moment ago I had been determined to shut this heart down for good, but his now-returned behavior made me doubt and continue to doubt. I was tired, I wanted to rest somewhere quiet with no one to disturb the peace I wanted.
I felt so depressed that I reached a point of depression with a life like this. Since the beginning of marriage I still can not understand the meaning of the word happiness of marriage, all this time my mind is always asking ambiguous things. Since I can't be sure if Tian is my soul mate in this life, everything feels ridiculous and absurd.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to the room..."
"Darling!"
"..." - ".I looked at him with a flat look
"Uuggh... I'm sorry! My words last night must have made you come back to hate me, right? Dear... I'm really sorry..."
"..." - ".I became mute in front of him
"... You don't hate us all, do you? Just because of one jerk personality... Sweetheart! Maybe now you're cursing me in your heart! I don't care if you want to be angry, cursing, even upset with me... But I beg you... You don't hate us for just one fucking personality..."
"..." - ".I still stared blankly at his hand
"Maybe you're sick of hearing my apologies... But I don't know how else to make amends last night... Sweetheart! I beg you... Please don't hate me!" Tian kneeled down to apologize to me
"..." - ".I could only stand stiffly to find a confession of his guilt
"Darling... You don't get me like gini dong! My heart hurts... So sick! Until it feels better to die than to be diemin you like gini!!!" Her tears broke hugging half of my body that was still silent stiff
I subconsciously brushed off his embrace and passed into the room, leaving Tian silent to find a spontaneous reaction from me. In front of the door of this closed room maybe Tian was still kneeling in silence which was certainly shocked to get flat treatment from me. Now that I was confused by my true feelings for Tian how, right now I only felt an emptiness that was too silent.
There was a sound of sobs coming from behind the door of the room that made me confused what to do. With her voice trembling with tears Tian called my name and raved an apology that made me even more confused as to how to deal with it. Right now my heart is working hard to close the gap of warmth that is almost finished, to the point of making me not react to any kind of sadness on Tian's face.
"Uughh... Do you have to forgive your father this time too? But you're afraid to come back again and again hurt by loving someone..." I muttered as my stomach ached
"alright... Whatever end! Mama decided to love your papa... For your mom and for your sake... Mama's children must be born great..."
Finally I decided again and again, forgiving Tian who was actually angry because it started from my own mistakes. While opening the room door, Tian was still kneeling with his sobs which of course attracted the attention of the people of the house.
"Isa... You are so weak, Gini! Just so this is already crying Bombay that... What if I'm really angry..."
"..." - ".It was not that Tian stopped crying even more bombay
"Darling! Shrimp is crying... I'm just kidding angry with you!" I said then hugged Tian who sat down crying
"I think you're really angry... Huhuhoo... I'm scared..."
"Ssuuut... The crying dong! I'm sorry for the readiness..."
"I'm sorry too..."
"You didn't bother me... "
After Tian stopped his crying, it was now my turn to cry at jahili by him, which annoyed me half to death. Maybe it's time to love someone other than myself. In the end, however, I will not regret my choice to begin to open my heart and allow Tian's figure to fill the emptiness of my heart that has long been filled with this hatred and emptiness.
"Darling... What do you want?"
"I wanted rations last night..."
"Ja.jatah fuck..."
"..." - ".Tian cut my sentence with his warm, ferocious kiss
"Sa..sad I'm pregnant again..."
"I'll do it gently..."
At first it was soft but the edges even become like wild animals again is the game. Even though Tian didn't do it gently, somehow I liked him even wanting more. I'm honestly embarrassed to admit this one, because the bed business for me is too embarrassing to tell. What is clear now is that I will love my husband wholeheartedly, whatever obstacles I will overcome if I cannot get through. Then I will find a way out to solve all the obstacles of life today and in the future.
It turned out that Tian's apology wasn't too late in the least, as I was able to deflect my resolve earlier in the afternoon in just a matter of seconds. Maybe my decision this time is also due to the influence of the presence of my prospective children who are still in this womb. I wish I could accompany them to grow up, so much happiness I want to show my kids later.
"Darling! Sorry yeah... I couldn't control myself..." He said with a cute face
"No need to apologize, that's okay... Because I like you just now..." I muttered
"Ka...what did you say just now?"
"It's nothing!"
"..." - ".Tian even looked at me with his perverted gaze
"Ih... You do masang look like that... I'm afraid to know!" I'm getting a hug on his body, hoping he doesn't think anything else
"Darling! Do you have pain?" Tian asked after a moment of silence
"There is no tuh! Why why?"
"It's nothing...! But you have to say that no matter how small pain is the same as me... You know right?"
"sick! As little pain as I have to report?"
"That's as little pain as that... If you feel that there is something uncomfortable too, you should say! Now you have pain in which part?"
"It doesn't hurt anymore...!"
"Why did you get sick? In which part? When exactly?"
"Eh... That, the pain from yesterday until a moment ago! But now it doesn't hurt anymore... Even now it feels good..."
"Where is the pain? Don't tell..."
"My whole body hurts... But the stomach hurts more than the other parts... Everything is better now!"
"Try you again, who knows there are still parts that hurt..."
"Once in taste... My waist hurts..." I made him blush
"Ekhnmm... If that problem... I'm sorry!" He said shyly while stomping on my waist that felt shrill
"Haihihah... You're funny..." My laughter looked at her shamed manner
All righty! In this second I will try to love my husband, whatever the nature of Tian will be. What is clear is that I want to make my current husband my soul mate who has been destined by God in this life. Regretful or not, I will always love my husband because it is time for me to let go of all the emptiness in me. May the love I give her be reciprocated and cherished by her.
