You Who I Miss

Don't Blame Him

I woke up to my mother's voice calling me soft. I blinked my eyes at the wall clock. Turns out the needle showed at nine in the morning.

After the incident at the pool. I went straight to my room. I could barely sleep, thinking of Dicky and Iqbal. I was confused by the growing feelings between them. I can't choose, but I don't want to lose them either.

"Honey, I'm not going down to breakfast" said Mom while sitting on the bed. I got up and sat down to face Mom.

"You're sick, baby, heh." said Mother, examining my forehead with her hand.

"No buk, risa was just a tiredness, last night Rissa had fun with her friends" I said.

"Yes, I brought breakfast for Rissa" my mother said.

Mom brought me some fried rice and a glass of water. I don't have any vitamin tablets to take every morning.

"Rissa eat yes, I want to clean up Rissa's clothes, today we go home" said my mother. I just nodded and ate the breakfast that Mother had brought me.

"Evenings with friends rissa just say the hell." asked Mom while packing my things.

"Burn corn, sing in front of the campfire, take pictures, keep Iqbal rissa on his way out" I said.

"Where?." asked Mom.

"Don't know, but ma'am, the place is really good, can see the houses of the people from there" I said.

"Oh yeah, romantic dong." said Mom jokingly.

"Hehe."

"Mom wash clothes first, it's already mom ready for rissa clothes" said Mother. I smiled at Mom.

When Mom wanted to get out of my room, Iqbal came without knocking and made Mom almost jump in shock because of Iqbal.

"Iqbal." insisted Mother.

"Eh aunt." said Iqbal not well.

"Ngapain aunt here" said Iqbal.

"You're the one who's going to aunt's room" said Mother. Iqbal just scratched his head. I just smiled holding back the laughter of seeing Iqbal like that.

"What a shock you make, knock on the door first" said my mother.

"Sorry aunt, kirain rissa hasn't woken up yet" Iqbal said.

"You are all there." said Mother. Iqbal just smiled.

"Where is aunt going?" said Iqbal.

"Oh yeah so forget, auntie wants to wash clothes." said mother.

"Yes already aunty, please aunt, later bad luck." said Iqbal while away from the door.

"You're Iqbal." said my mother annoyed.

"Hahaha." I laughed.

"Yes, you take care of Rissa, the food must have run out" said Mother.

"Every aunt." said Iqbal, saluting.

"Iqbal, Iqbal" said Mother as she left.

That's how Iqbal is, gokil the guy I think. This is also one of the reverse attitudes of Dicky, Dicky seemed serious, right. You guys must have realized it.

Iqbal smiled at me. While I laughed at his behavior.

"Haha."

"Laughter continues, content" he said as he approached me. Iqbal sat on the bed facing me.

"Let's finish your food, don't laugh" he said.

"Yes iqbal bauble." I said.

"Haha."

"Where were you last night, I told you" he said. I stopped chewing food.

How's this! What reason should I make!

"Hum..."

"To the toilet" I said.

"Yes I know, but I've been looking for you in the toilet downstairs" he said.

"Toilet room" I said looking for an excuse.

"I've also been looking for you in your bathroom" he said.

"Hem, not this room toilet, in.." I thought.

"In mom's room, yeah, I was scared to go to the toilet alone, so I went to mom's room" I said.

"I've asked, want to be accompanied, don't say you" he said.

"It's okay, I'm just worried, you're not going to the back garden anymore, that's why I'm looking for you, afraid you've got nothing" he said. I'm silent.

I really feel guilty for Iqbal. Iqbal always thought about my situation. But I don't even think about it let alone his feelings. I was selfish and lied to him. I wanted to tell her what happened between me and Dicky, but I couldn't.

Sorry Iqbal I cheated!

***

About half an hour. I went downstairs to have lunch together in the back garden, where we celebrated the new year last night. Because there's still a lot of new year's food stock left over. Instead of redundancy, so we made a small-scale barbeque show in the garden behind the Villa. Today is our last day at the top.

As I went down the stairs, I accidentally ran into Dicky who wanted to go upstairs. I stopped silent in my steps. Dicky was silent too.

A glimpse of the memories in the pool last night surfaced in my brain. My heart started to beat. I try to control myself to be calm.

I continued my steps down the stairs. I tried to smile at Dicky, even though the corner of my lips was stiff and it felt like my face wanted to look down in front of him. Dicky just stayed where he was.

Suddenly Dicky's hand held my hand as I wanted to get through it. I'm appalled. I looked towards my hand. Then Dicky let go.

"Why?" I said, making sure no one was watching.

"Ris." said Dicky. I looked at Dicky confused.

"Yes." Yeah."

"You and Iqbal have a problem" Dicky said.

"Problems?" I said confusedly.

"No." I said again.

"Why indeed?." I asked.

"No pa-pa." said Dicky with a faint smile. Dicky stroked my hair, and then he went upstairs.

What Dicky really meant. What's the matter with Iqbal. I'm confused, I and Iqbal are fine.

I watched Dicky from behind and saw his elbow hurt. The wound was not severe, but there was a little blood flowing. In my heart I wonder where he got that wound from. I wanted to ask, but I didn't have time, because I saw Iqbal coming from the main door.

"Iqbal." call me.

Iqbal stopped his steps when he saw me. As usual, he smiled.

It's a little weird to see the look of Iqbal. I mean smile. She smiled at me, but the smile felt like it was holding back anger, not like Iqbal's sweet smile to me. And Iqbal just kept his hands behind his body.

"Where have you finished?" asked me as I walked closer to him.

"From the outside" said Iqbal.

"I don't ask" I said. Silent IQbal.

"Yes, you're hungry, we're behind yuk, later the steak is eaten by cement, so we're part of it" I said. When I hold his hand. Iqbal whimpered in pain.

"Why are you?." I asked worriedly. I looked at Iqbal's injured hand, like he had hit something hard. At that time, I also remembered the wound on Dicky's elbow. My brain started to think that Iqbal and Dicky were fighting. Yeah, I don't know for sure. But I'm sure it has something to do with it.

"You fought Dicky, yeah." I said.

"Why?." asked. Silent IQbal.

"Iqbal, Dicky it's la-."

"DICKY, DICKY, DICKY KEEP THE ONE YOU CARESS RIS." Iqbal.

"It's not bal, you don't know it."

"I know, I know you're the same as him at the pool last night." said Iqbal.

Iqbal's words surprised me. My mouth looks like it's open. I don't know what to tell her.

"YOUR BOYFRIEND, SEE CLEARLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING." Iqbal SAID. I was silent with tears in my eyes.

"How ris, what a kiss, with me or with her, huh" he said.

As I cried, I heard Iqbal's words. It felt so bad in my heart.

"I want to ask you, you never think of me once only ris" he said.

"Iqbal, I'm sorry." I said begging.

"Because of him, you have lied to me now" said Iqbal.

"Don't blame him, he's not wrong" I said.

"I'm wrong, I shouldn't be there" I said with a mouthful.

"I'm wrong, I'm wrong, because I know it's happening" Iqbal said.

After saying that, Iqbal passed leaving me crying. I actually dropped it after that incident.

My feelings of love are now nothing to me with my guilt for Iqbal that is so great. I'm evil. I had made the person who was always together and accompanied me disappointed.

I got to how bal! Please forgive me!

-oo-oo-