You Who I Miss
New year
Time goes on and changes everything. I never spoke to Dicky again. Even just to smile at each other. I still don't understand his attitude. Guilt continued to envelop me even though I did not know what I was doing wrong. What this has to do with Nabila at that time. It's possible that Nabila complained to me and said something no-no to Dicky. Back again, that was just my guess. I can't blame someone who isn't necessarily that person who did what I had in mind.
My days at school, I lived with a lonely feeling. He who I always wanted to meet, is now like a stranger to me. No more people to meet me in the back garden of the school, taking me for a walk by bike, eating ice cream. Sometimes I prefer to be alone. I should have made peace with my situation. I know this can interfere with my health and my focus on learning.
Until the end of 2010. I still can't forget Dicky. Even if I try to forget it, I still can't. I am lucky to have a friend who is always with me. I remember, one day before the year changed. Melyn, Anis and Dodit plan to celebrate the turn of the new year in my yard. Of course I agreed to it and so did my mom and dad.
I'm so excited about this. At least I forgot about him. Yes, even though in my heart I wish he would come and join us.
***
About seven o'clock. Melyn came with her mother and father. Likewise with Anis who came with her parents and also her younger brother, Ridho.
"We are not delayed?" asked aunt Sari, her mother Anis walked over to us. While Anis' father, Om Damar met the father who again talked to Melyn's father, Om Anjas.
"Not really, just started." said Mom.
"What's the big deal?." asked Aunt Tika to Aunt Sari who was carrying a basket of food.
"Beverage is the same snack for children" he said.
Shortly thereafter, Dodit arrives with his father and mother.
"What a great game." said Aunt Rina (mother of Dodit).
"Yes, let's be more exciting" said Aunt Sari (Anis' mother).
"Let's go, here, we need extra energy" said my mother.
"Yes, yeah." said Aunt Rina.
I was busy burning corn, sausage, satay in the house with Mother, Melyn, Aunt Tika (Mother Melyn), Anis, Aunt Sari (Mother Anis), Ridho (sister Anis), Dodit, and others, and Aunt Rina (Mother Dodit).
While Dad, Om Anjas (Dad Melyn), Om Damar (Dad Anis), and Om John (Dodit's Father) play gaple while coffee on the terrace.
When I was rubbing sausage with butter with Melyn, I overheard my mother talking about Aunt Yanti, Dicky's mother. From that I know that my mother also invited Aunt Yanti for the new year's night with us. But, unfortunately Aunt Yanti is not present because she has a new year event with her family. I who used to be excited now become excited no longer. Why is it so hard for me to meet Dicky. Or it was Dicky who didn't want to see me again.
"Don't be sad Ris, there will be me and the others" said Melyn. I smile.
"You must be able to escape Dicky" said Melyn. I'm silent.
"You get so moody because of it, I don't like to see you like that, I prefer the cheerful Rissa, Rissa who likes to say Dodit" he said. I smile.
I just kept quiet. Don't know what to say to Melyn. What Melyn said was right. I need to be able to move on from this situation. I don't want people around me to know what I'm feeling.
***
Night, 2 hours before January 1, 2011. Grilled corn, satay, grilled sausage are ready and other snacks are ready to be eaten together.
We all gathered to sit on a mat that was previously held by my father in the yard. While enjoying grilled corn, satay, grilled sausage. Dad and the other parents were talking about Dicky's family not being able to join us. Dad also talked about Rahmad who wanted to make me his son-in-law. And that embarrassed me, everybody knows.
"Oh yes, so Rissa already proposed yes" said aunt Tika (Mother Melyn). I just smile while hiding my face.
"Yes we're late, mah." said Om John (Dodit's father).
"Yes, aunty also wants Rissa to be a aunt's daughter-in-law, uh even first proposed to Mr. Rahmad." said aunt Rina (Mother Dodit).
"Haha."
Everyone laughs. They look happy this new year's night. But, they don't know Dicky's relationship with me right now is so far away. I just don't know if my relationship with him is getting closer or further away. So is my family's relationship with his family. This relationship has an impact on our family relationships as well. I was afraid that our family relationships would also stay away. From inside the house, the phone rang, Excuse me to come into the house to answer the phone.
"Tumben yes children are still not asleep, usually already on molor" said aunt Tika.
"Yes, let alone this Melyn, abis magrib used to go straight to sleep" said Om Anjas.
"Hehe, there is no cement at home, so mending me to sleep" said Melyn.
"Hehehe." I laughed.
"Rissa." call Mom as she walks over to me.
"Yes ma'am." I said.
"Yanti's mom called, she wants to talk to Rissa" said Mom.
"Ouch, get a phone call from your mother-in-law." - Tante Rina (Mother Dodit).
"Haha."
"Let's go there Yanti's mother waited for you." said Mother.
I smiled and ran into the house and started talking to Dicky's mother.
"Hello." I said on the phone.
"Happy new year my dear" said Ms. Yanti.
"Yes, but it's not 12 ma'am long" I said.
"No pa-pa than your mom's dad" Dicky's mom said.
"Hehe."
"Mom why aren't you here?." I asked.
"Sorry baby, I have a family event, so I don't enjoy the new year at Rissa's house, it just so happens that Dicky's grandmother also came from Bandung, so Dicky really wanted to see his grandmother." mother Dicky said.
"She doesn't want to see Rissa, Ma'am" I said.
"Not so dear, he wants to go there too" said Dicky's mother. I'm silent.
"Rissa wants to talk to Dicky, can't ma'am" I said.
"May, I call him first" said Dicky's mother.
Shortly thereafter. Dicky's mother's back.
"Sorry dear, Dicky had gone out the same om, buy fireworks he said." said Dicky's mother.
"Oh." I said.
"Rissa wants to talk to Dicky, and I'll tell her" Dicky's mom said.
"No pa-pa ma'am, later." I said.
"Yes, baby." said Dicky's mother.
"Dear, I close first, yes, we'll talk later." said Dicky's mother.
"Yes, Mom." I said.
"Dear Assalamualaikum." said Dicky's mother.
"Walaikumsalam Ma'am." I said.
That night, I celebrated the new year with my father, mother, friends and others with feelings I could not express. Either I am happy or sad. I felt silent among the sounds of fireworks.
-oo-oo-
