You Who I Miss

I don't want to be alone

Really, I never thought that I would actually break up from Iqbal. You know, I don't want to go away from him. I love her so much. I love Iqbal. But, what happened Iqbal was the one who wanted to break up with me.

Now I'm alone with this feeling. I can't see Dicky or Iqbal anymore. It feels like my world is destroyed. What was my sky was pink cherry bloosome is now black gray. I don't know what to do now, other than cry over all this.

I know, it must be hard for Iqbal to break up with me, too. He loves me too, he loves me too. I'm sure he didn't want to hurt me with his words. He may be forced and have reasons he can't tell me.

I thought, I can still mend my relationship with Iqbal. But, not now, I better not meet with Iqbal just yet. Iqbal is still emotional, he may not be able to think clearly because of it. But, I'm sad. I am sad to have to leave her life.

***

I went straight home, after Iqbal said break up with me. Even though the lesson hours are not over. I went home on foot crying. I could take an angkot, a taxi or a taxi. But, I don't want to. I still wish Iqbal would come to me and take me home. Although, in the end it didn't happen.

It was a long way from school to my house. I'm tired of walking. I stopped and sat down at one of the food stalls on the side of the road. I took my phone and called Andi, my cousin. I asked him to pick me up. I know he must have skipped out with his friends. He was also naughty just like Iqbal. Not with Kikky he's a good boy.

Not long after that Andi came with his bike. I went up and we left.

"Why don't you go home with Iqbal?" asked Andi. I'm silent.

"From the fight." said Andi. I'm staying quiet.

"Berantem is common in the relationship ris, I also often fight with my boyfriend, this is just he again angry with me." said Andi.

"Why?." asked.

"Regular, caught walking with other girls" said Andi while grinning.

"Ihh, you are" I said.

"You're still like that, you've got a lot of sisters, try shadowing, how your sister lia cheated on her with her boyfriend, lia must be sad, you must also be sad to see" I said.

"Yes, I know, it's me trying to change" Andi said.

"You are why Iqbal" asked Andi.

"Iqbal fought again" I said.

"Who's the same?." asked Andi.

"Dito." I said.

"Dito." said Andi repeating my words.

"Oh, Dito, your classmate is the same Iqbal, who wears glasses" said Andi.

"Yes." I said.

"Good, he was beaten, you should support Iqbal ris" Andi said.

"Emang Dito did what the hell?, where do you know Dito from?" I asked.

"Iqbal didn't tell you the same story." asked Andi.

"No, I've done it, but he doesn't want to tell a story" I said.

"Wait for Iqbal to tell the story, if I tell it first, Iqbal must be angry with me" said Andi.

I was confused to hear Andi's story. What's the problem between Iqbal and Dito. Andi, she doesn't go to school with me. How he knew Dito. It really gives me a headache when I think about it.

Arriving home. I'm going straight in. Andi went straight away again. When I came in I saw Mom and Grandma talking in the living room. I immediately rushed to walk towards my room after I said my greetings.

"Rissa." call me to stop my steps.

"It's a shame to go home." said the mother.

"Yes ma'am, the teacher is close." I said lie.

"Oh."

"Iqbalnya not asked to enter" said Grandma.

"Go home, grandma." I said lie.

"Rissa go to the room first." I said.

"Yes dear." said Mother.

I went into the room too. Locking the door and sitting on the spot while throwing the origin of my school bag. I sat pensively thinking as Iqbal said break up with me. I still can't believe I and Iqbal broke up. I shouldn't have asked him why he fought with Dito. Maybe we won't argue and for sure I and Iqbal are still dating.

***

All day long, I locked myself in my room. I wept. Not knowing why, I just felt like something was missing inside me. I'm not excited to do anything as usual. I don't even have an appetite for food. Mom tried to get me to have lunch. But, I don't want to. I just cried without a sound all day in the room.

Malamannya. From outside the room, I heard Mom calling me while knocking on the door. He called me to dinner with the family as usual. But I didn't answer, I didn't want to eat, I wasn't hungry. My mother kept calling me. Worried about me not answering, I called my father. Anxiously Dad called my name while knocking on my door loudly, he even wanted to break down my door. But I remained silent. Outside it wasn't just Dad calling me. Grandma, Aunt Yuli and Om Adam, Aunt Maya and Om Arman and my cousins also called me. Somehow I finally managed to open my door.

"Rissa." said Mom a second after the door opened. He immediately rushed up to me who was crying on the bed. She hugged me. I was not stopping to cry in her arms.

"Let's have a drink" said the grandmother. I shook my head. I don't want a drink.

"You're why son, story." said my mother.

I kept crying. Along with my vision blurred by tears. I saw Andi talking to Dad. Maybe Andi already knew what was going on and he told Dad everything.

"The others just come out, let me talk to Rissa" said Dad after he finished talking to Andi. Everyone else went out, including my mother and grandmother. And I started to worry about myself. I'm afraid Dad is angry, for having made one house anxious just because I broke up with Iqbal.

Dad walked over to me after closing the door. On the bed facing me. I tried to stay still even though my tears kept coming out.

"Why is Rissa crying." asked Dad. I just shook my head.

"Rissa wants to tell a story, or you want to tell a story" Dad said. I cried and hugged Dad.

"Rissa just as Iqbal broke up" I said in tears. Dad stroked my head.

"Iqbal is angry with Rissa, he doesn't care about Rissa anymore" I said.

"The break up is common when dating dear, every relationship must also end, not because of fighting, separation or because he is not our soul mate" said Dad while stroking my hair.

"Dad knows Rissa loved Iqbal, Iqbal also loved Rissa, maybe Iqbal was also sad like Rissa, but it's a pity we can not continue to grieve kegini, gini, moreover, until not eating, it can hurt" said Dad.

"But dad, Rissa loves Iqbal, Rissa doesn't want to break up with Iqbal" I said.

"Rissa is beautiful, there must be many guys who like Rissa, I'm sure Rissa must have another guy who loves Rissa" said Dad. I could only cry hearing Dad say.

"Udah ah, cry continues, Rissa is already big, not a child anymore, Rissa will still have one more boyfriend" said Father. I kept quiet while looking at Dad.

"Who?." I asked confused.

"Dad." said Dad proudly. I cry while laughing. I don't know what I call sad. But, I laughed.

"Crying or laughing again" said Dad. I stayed that way between crying and laughing.

"Godmother brought food" said Dad when she came to bring me dinner.

"Let's eat first" said Mother.

"Let me just ma'am who feeds my beautiful father's girlfriend" said Dad.

"This." said Mother while giving my food to Dad.

"Beautiful Mom, daddy's girlfriend" Dad told Mom.

"Beautiful." said Mother. I hugged my father while hiding my face.

"Pity mom, dad's boyfriend is sad again, he wants to be pampered" said Dad. Mom smiled.

"Hem, I'm jealous" said Mom. I laugh. Mom and Dad laughed too.

"Yes, I'm back" said Mother.

"Yes ma'am." said Dad. Mom also left the room.

"Let's go, baby, eat first, the baby's sleeping, tomorrow will go to school" said Dad.

"Tomorrow Rissa can not be allowed not to go to school, Rissa wants to be at home with Daddy" I said. Dad nodded and smiled.

"Yes, son, eat first, aak." said Dad while bribing me. I ate it too.

After eating, Dad gave me some medicine. Dad said it was vitamins. But, I know one of those vitamins is a sleeping pill that dad used to take when he was stressed out with his office work. Maybe I think I should take a sleeping pill, so I can sleep well and forget for a moment my sadness.

"Pinter, now his girlfriend's dad's sleeping, yeah, it's too bad" said Dad while helping me lie down. She covered me and didn't forget to kiss me on my forehead.

"Good night, daddy's girlfriend, sweet dreams." said Dad.

"Dad." call me before you leave the room.

"Yes dear." said Dad.

"Dad don't go, Rissa sleeps, Rissa doesn't want to be alone" I said with heavy eyes. Maybe his sleeping pills are starting to work.

"Yes dear." said Dad. Dad's getting into bed. He lay down next to me while hugging me. Dad stroked my head softly. But, my feelings hurt. I'm still sad because my relationship with Iqbal is over.

"Dad, why does it hurt" I said with my eyes closed.

"This is sick." I said as I held onto my chest with tears suddenly coming out of my eyes. I wiped my tears and said.

"Dad promise baby, dad promise the pain will go away" said Dad. I slowly fell asleep after my forehead received a warm kiss from my father.

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