You Who I Miss

I always imagined his figure

Arrive on the rise of class 6 SD. Accompanied by Mom, I took the results of my report in school. As usual my grades were good and I got first place. However, there was one thing I was very worried about back then, Iqbal. I'm worried about the squeaks he's collecting at school, I'm afraid he's not going to class. Me and my mom are waiting for Iqbal and Aunt Dewi, her mother Iqbal who is summoned to the teacher's room. I don't know what they're talking about inside. I can only hope to be anxious about Iqbal's report value. I hope what I'm worried about doesn't happen.

"How?." asked Mom as Aunt Dewi and Iqbal came out of the teacher's room.

"Iqbal went to class, but it was conditional" said Aunt Dewi.

I was relieved to hear that Iqbal was taking classes despite his conditionality. It turns out that the teachers still tolerate the case of Iqbal with his achievements in school. He's won a lot of futsal games and brought our school's good name.

"No pa-pa is mah, the important thing is to go to class" said Iqbal.

"No pa-pa, no pa-pa, thankfully you are not out of school, how mom talks to you, son." said Aunt Dewi. Silent IQbal.

"Well Iqbal, then you have to fix yourself" said Mother.

"Yes aunty." said Iqbal.

"You saw Rissa, she was worried about waiting for you" said Mother.

"Mother." I said embarrassedly.

"Haha."

"I went to class, ris, you don't have to worry" Iqbal said.

"How not to worry, you have a lot of cases at school, I often say to you, do not fight, do not look for trouble, you still" I said annoyed.

"Yes ris, angry with him, angry, aunt already confused face him" said Aunt Dewi.

"Yes aunty, I always get angry" I said.

"Eleh." said Iqbal while poking my cheek.

"Ih."

"Haha."

***

In class 6. I and Iqbal are one class. I sat down with him. I'm happy to have a class with him and to have more time with him. Every day I and Iqbal spent time together, doing schoolwork together and sometimes I joined him in futsal practice. Even though I was always happy with him. But, there's not a single day that Iqbal doesn't piss me off. He's still making trouble. I got to him who was brawling with another schoolboy. Instead of apologizing or stopping brawling, she was angry at me because I approached her.

When graduation came, I was happy because I was going to Junior High. However, on the other hand I felt sad because I was going to part with Iqbal. I'll apply to my favorite country Junior High School. While he's going out of town continuing his schooling there. And it makes me sad. Some days I don't talk to Iqbal about this. I'm mad at him. He tried to comfort me and explain it to me. But I don't want to listen to him.

When I saw the list of names that listed Junior High in mading. It turns out Iqbal's name was there. My sky that was once cloudy turned bright instantly. I'm so glad Iqbal came with me. I immediately ran over to Iqbal who was sitting in the classroom while playing PSP games.

"Iqbal." I shouted happily. I sat in the chair next to him.

"What" he said while focusing on playing his video game.

"You're on the list too" I said.

"Yes" I said as I hugged her from the side.

"Don't hug, I play, I lose" he said. But I kept hugging him. I like to lean on Iqbal's shoulder. It feels comfortable like a pillow.

"Yahhh, you will lose" he said.

"Haha."

"Laugh." he said.

"Hahaha." I laughed while hugging him again. Iqbal just sighed while continuing to play his PSP.

***

I think time passes quickly. I graduated to Junior High School Favorite Country as well as Iqbal. He really tried to get into the same school as me. I appreciate that struggle. I am very happy to be with Iqbal in the same school and in the same class.

Over time, Iqbal expressed his feelings that he felt for me. He no longer lied to his friends that I was his girlfriend. I was his girlfriend after he kissed me on the cheek in class. I liked that moment. It feels like my sky is turning pink blossom.

But, there are things I don't like about Iqbal. He's still the same, still fighting. Just one month of school, he was already fighting with our classmates until his nose was bleeding. I was so anxious back then, I didn't know how else to deal with it. Besides being angry with her. I'm afraid she's why-why. Although I was often angry, I was cursing him. He never was rude to me. Iqbal once told me: "If a guy hits a girl it's not cool, but cool.". Yes, despite whatever he said, I still don't like him fighting let alone brawling.

"You can actually benefit from me" he said.

"What?." asked

"Nobody will dare to bother you, because you're my boyfriend, if anyone bothers you, just call me, they'll run away first."

"Oh yeah, how about I say your name, but they don't run away" I said.

"That means he hasn't faced me" he said.

"Keep, what are you going to do" I said.

"Yes you have to wait for me to come" he said.

"If you don't come, how about." I said.

"I know you can deal with it yourself, you'll be brave" he said. I just smiled hearing it.

I also heard the news that Dicky entered the country he wanted in Jakarta. I got word from Melyn. I'm glad to hear that. And Melyn said, Dicky already has a girlfriend. The news rolled like a rifle through my heart violently. I'm really jealous to hear that.

Don't ask me how I feel about Iqbal. I love him so much. I don't want him to leave me for any reason. Even so the feeling in my chest for Dicky never changed either. I still imagine his figure. When I close my eyes, I always find her figure in my delusion.

I know it's been so long since I left Jakarta. But, my longing feelings are getting deeper and deeper. I still want to meet Dicky if that's possible for me. I don't understand what this feeling is. How do I explain this situation of my heart. I don't know. Should I tell Iqbal about my feelings or let them get deeper. If I say this to Iqbal, I'm afraid that it will hurt his feelings and it's likely that he will walk away from me out of disappointment with me. I don't want that to happen.

Maybe I was selfish with this feeling. I don't think about the feelings of people who always try to make me happy. I think of others not him. But, what I have to do, I don't want to lose Iqbal in my life.

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