The Ruler's Love Contract

Deep Hopenesses

Tomorrow afternoon, the moments leading up to labor...

The wind was blowing hard but I didn't feel cold at all. A red tinge began to adorn the city sky this afternoon. I am still waiting for my husband's return from work. He said today there will be a drilling process in the new oil field. Hopefully it works and the results will be satisfactory.

"Why does my stomach hurt?"

I was in the kitchen, intending to drink milk to increase my energy. But, I don't know why my stomach hurts so much, not as usual. My head also started to get dizzy like a symptom of low blood pressure. Before long I felt like there was liquid coming out of my crotch. I immediately went to the bathroom to see it. And it turns...

"God's this?!"

A black blood clot came out of my chest. I don't know what this sign is, but I'd better ask mom. I don't want anything to happen to my baby.

Oh, my God, please protect them.

Knock on the door of my mother's room while praying in my heart. I can't panic even if I have something unexpected. Mom soon opened the door for me. I saw him wearing a mukena while holding a book of prayers.

"Pregnant?"

"What is your mom doing? Is Mom busy?" I asked, not feeling good for bothering him.

"Oh, I'm reading the evening prayer. What's up, son?" Mom asked me.

I immediately told my purpose to my mother. "Mom, Ara is bleeding black blood. Is this dangerous?" ask my mother.

"Black blood? Do you feel pain?" My mother-in-law looks panicked.

I'm nodding. Mom also looks worried. "We go to the doctor, son. Maybe it's time." Mom immediately took off her face.

To be honest, I did not feel good to disturb the mother who was praying. But how else, the pain in my stomach is getting longer and longer. I don't know if this is a sign that labor is near or not. So I tried to find her by asking my mother. And I think mom knows the answer.

An hour later...

Azan Magrib in Istanbul, Turkey. I saw the clock on the wall of the room showing at six in the afternoon. I was in a room, lying on his bed with an infusion hose connected to my body. I was in RSIA Istanbul, Turkey.

The doctor did intensive care for me. He said I had unusually low blood pressure. My blood pressure is now approaching 70. Whereas the normal state of adult size is about 110-120. The doctor advised me to be calm and not to think. Because it will affect the hormones in balancing my body.

I admit that before this labor my heart is unrelenting. There is just excessive anxiety, anxiety and worry about the labor process. Maybe that is what is affecting my current condition.

As far as I know, adults normally have blood pressure at 120/80 mmHg. Blood pressure in adults can indeed change every day according to the factors that affect it. The number 120 indicates the level of heart pressure when pumping blood, while the number 80 shows when the heart organ takes a break during the process of pumping blood. My blood pressure is currently 70/60, very low.

Holding her fingers, seeing her smile and laughter. If these are my last days in the world, then allow me to see them for a moment. I surrender to the destiny You wrote. But if I may beg, let me take care of and raise them, that I may be happy and not feel the vainness of living in the world.

Oh my God, grant my prayers. Praise be to You who created this world.

I don't know why my tears flow, soaking these cheeks while praying to God. I hope my efforts during this time are not in vain. I know the biggest risk of giving birth is loss of life. But I really, really wish God would allow me to care for and raise them. I also want to serve my husband. That's why I'm still able to survive until this moment.

Anxiety and anxiety I could not deny so great before my delivery. Anxiety, anxiety that struck, made my heart race erratically. I also have not had time to apologize and say thank you to my mother in Indonesia. I'd love for you to see my kids later.

I want to give my best to those who love me. Because their love is so precious to me. And I want to make them happy just as I want to be happy. May God bless it.

"Darling!"

I soon saw my husband rush into my ward. I also welcomed her arrival, wanting to wake up.

"Have, no need." But he's holding it. He wants me to just sleep. "Darling, how are you?"

He held my hand tightly. The other hand rubbed this head. He gave me the best touch I needed. My heart is calm because of it. He was so understanding without being asked. And I love him so much.

"I'm fine, honey. Just started to feel the contractions." I said what I thought.

"Honey, the doctor is considering the process of his birth. If the result has to be a cesarean, is it okay?" He asked me as he rubbed this head. Rain looks very worried.

"Can't be normal?" I was a little disappointed to hear that.

"Darling, I've asked for the best for your delivery. Whatever it is that you survived, I agree. I don't want to take too much of a risk. Your blood pressure's low, honey." He told me.

"Yes." Yeah." I also nodded. I don't know why I feel sad.

"Dear, please. Don't complicate your situation. Normal labor requires ten stages in order to give birth normally. And during some stages it can not be predicted time. I can't bear to see you endure the lingering pain. Please, don't make it harder on you." He looks so hopeful for me.

I know normal labor does require very extra energy. But once the baby comes out, it won't feel any more pain. Plong just like that. Cesarean sections may not feel pain at first. But after that, it takes a long time for treatment. That's what I'm considering.

"Excuse me." A nurse came to us shortly. "Master, Madam. The doctor asked for approval for the surgery. After reconsidering, cesarean section is considered less risk than the normal birth process. The doctor is waiting for his decision." Nurse informs.

Husband answered. "good. I'll see a doctor soon. Thank you." Thank you." Husband approves.

Whether it's good news or bad news I heard, it seems like all I can do is resign at this time. May whatever maternity I go through later, it's the best for me. Hope so. Aamiins.