The Complicated Love #2

CL - 07. Stay with me

“Stay with me, though I will never be able to have you completely.”

At night Tefan and I stood on the balcony staring into the distance, the cold air made us both never let go to hug each other. That way the warm feeling will easily enter our bloodstream. The two of us just stood there, there was no need to speak, the night sky seemed clean. Finally I can see stars whose numbers cannot even be counted. In a city where you can enjoy a night view like this, there is only smoke, noise pollution, and all the things that will not bring calm.

“Fan, I want this forever.” I said slowly, my head has fallen on his chest.

“I'm also the same Riana. The thing that has bothered me the most all this time is if I can't be with you anymore.”

“Thanks for coming to my life.”

“I am also grateful that you are still willing to accept me even though circumstances will take you to a difficult point though.

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm talking facts Riana. I am a very selfish man who loves you and can even be considered an ungrateful man with only one woman. I have Nina but I also want you like this.”

“Not only do you want this Fan, I also want it so don't blame yourself like this.”

“How will you later Riana?”

“I'm definitely fine. You how?”

“I don't know.”

...

In silence I thought that after tonight, there would never be another night like this with Tefan. I felt that this was the last night I was with her and she ended up spending all the night with Nina. I've been crying and grieving a lot all day, I think this is what it's like to be in real love. When we love someone too much, then we must be ready when that person finally leaves. No matter the time, sooner or later it will happen.

“What should we do Riana?” The question just came out of his mouth.

I didn't answer, like there was a rock in my throat blocking me from making a sound. Despite all this, I have no answer to that question. I even wanted to ask the same question, and then be told what I should do. But apparently we both have no answer and this time silence is probably the best answer.

“Do we not have to go in? Here cold.” Saying slowly. Tefan was still staring deep into the sky. Suddenly, he dropped his eyes on me and smiled.

“Come in.” Invite him, while still holding my shoulder.

By the fireplace I lay on his lap, feeling all over the curves on his face. He just smiled and parsed my hair with his hands so soft. Just this time I found him who was so quiet or actually he was busy in his mind? Busy looking for answers to his own questions. I grabbed his hand and slipped my finger into his finger.

“Fan, don't think too much. We're here to calm ourselves down not to immerse ourselves in the mud of trouble. I'm sure there's a way out.”

What's the matter? Why did I suddenly turn out like this? It wasn't me who called Tefan here to talk about everything, but why would I forbid him to talk about it? Am I really not worried about this relationship? Ahhh.

Tefan nodded slowly, he then smiled then lifted my body with a single jolt.

“O... Ou... What the hell is this? Flirtatious ih. I can walk by myself know.” Spoiled sumikku.

“This time Lady Riana must not walk first, because she tonight has her prince.”

“Hahaha..

“Hahaha..

Our laughter broke out happily, forgetting for a moment what was happening. Tefan dropped me on the bed with a soft bed of plain white sheets. He also lay there, first just staring into each other's eyes. Then without command, our lips have met each other. Her lips gently rubbed against my lips which she said were thin. Once twice kiss slowly, then the rhythm changes drastically to be faster.

We are lovers who long for too long. Separated by distance and time that we do not ask for, due to circumstances that we resignedly accept as the path of destiny. Then this meeting was like a merapi explosion, although he knew it would burn but was determined to enter the explosion and prepare to accept any risk someday.

I may be guilty of giving her the only thing of value, though I may regret it later. That night was too cold to miss the two of us.

God forgive me and him for going too far, for forgetting that he and I should not have done that. That unification, it was a mistake that we justified and that's why I'm sorry for not being able to take care of it.

My tears were dripping, but there was a feeling of happiness that slipped. I don't know, I don't know what this feeling is like. Tefan just tried to wipe away the tears and apologized. Ah, how unstable and fragile this feeling is. Just because of the feeling of wanting to have, I was willing to exchange everything for love. Oh is this love? or have I been blind in the meaning of love?

Ah, nevermind! It all happened.

Early in the morning I was still wrapped around the blanket, I saw Tefan was no longer there beside me. But I don't have to worry because I know he might be preparing breakfast like he often does when we both stay in a villa or hotel. I still wanted to continue my sleep when Tefan suddenly appeared from behind the door of the room carrying a glass of milk and toast.

“Hei, good morning My Lady..”.

“Good morning My Lord...!”

“How to sleep?”

“All night is amazing honey!” I got up and sat down at the end of the bed.

“Nih drink the milk first.”

“Thanks.”

“I should have prepared this breakfast for you.”

“It's okay I'm always happy to do it for you.” She smiled so sweetly.

After breakfast, I decided to take a shower first. But before going into the bathroom I heard Tefan's HP ringing and he was talking to someone on the phone. It seemed very serious, but I paid no further attention and quickly flushed my head under the shower.

I appreciate every moment we go through, nothing can hurt as long as you're always with me. That pain I'll swallow like a grain of rice and I won't leave it even a single grain. Stay with me, even though I can never have you completely.