The Complicated Love #2

CL - 40. Honest

My heart warms every time I'm held in her arms, the feeling of being protected, the feeling of worth feels more complete. I cannot deny that his presence gives its own color. A tenuous feeling like the rainy season in December, gradually disappeared as both of his hands filled my body in his chest.

"Hey, what did you ask me to do here?" I asked to glance at Saka's face which looked taller.

"I want to tell you something. But first you have to eat, let's have enough energy to hear it."

"Just hear, right? It is certainly very easy, you should tell first we eat. It's not lunch time yet, is it."

"Well if that's what you want, let's go to my room."

I followed Saka's small steps beside her. Walking like this he didn't even want to take me off, just look at his hand that had been clutching my finger tightly since.

Once in the room, I chose to sit on a sofa that was wide enough. Saka then sat down beside me, his expression looking different from before. I hope that what he will say later is not something that hurts.

"Riana, because you've been honest with me before. Tell me all your past with the man I taught you yesterday, so let this time it's my turn to tell you the truth." Saka looked at me fixedly, while I was just speechless hearing him start his story.

"Write!" My love.

"The past is like a blade, ready to draw your body at any moment. It can even hurt you to the point that you are no longer able to cry. In the past, I was in a relationship with a woman named Sheril. He's a good man, for five years I've been in contact with him. But something happened between us, he was Peter." Saka paused for a moment, sighed and collected it back.

It is seen that he is carrying the burden of the past is quite heavy.

"Peter was a distant relative of my father's family, he came from the USA. He was born and lived there, but for one reason or another, Peter was sent by his family to Indonesia. We received him well in our house, even I considered him like a brother. Long story short, Peter and Sheril meet sometime."

Saka was silent again.

"Secretly Peter apparently likes Sheril and Sheril also seems to respond well to Peter's feelings. Unbeknownst to me, they often met. So I have a very rare time with Sheril. Especially since I was starting my career, I did not put my suspicions in the least. Sheril lied to me a lot, she always had a reason for me to believe every word."

"The highlight was when I caught them making out in one of the rooms in my house. That's why I don't want to live in that house. Because the scent of infidelity is always smelling and I'm sick of it. From then on, my trust in him was lost, even to beat Peter I never did, because it was all in vain. It might be my fault for being too busy. Until one day, I heard Sheril was pregnant, she came crying to the house in front of my parents. Peter was back in the USA. He was dumped by Peter, but I have no compassion for him at all. Let him bear the consequences of his actions."

"So how's Sheril?" Askaqua.

"After not getting what he wanted, I finally made a deal with him. The child she bears will be fined until college, provided she does not kill him in the womb. I also give Sheril subsidy money every month for her life. With a note he never appeared again in front of me."

"Riana, that feeling of love will arise when you truly feel ready to love and be loved. As soon as I met you, the thump was for the first time I felt it back since how many years ago. I did not dare to approach any woman, that was reason enough why I had not been married to date. Riana will you accept my past?"

"You're being honest with me, it's been very special, Saka. I have a past, you have a past, everyone has a past. It's just that whether we can accept it properly, that's what is sometimes difficult to do. I accept your past Saka, all those stories about you are something that made me realize that everyone has their own test of love. Let us learn to forgive the past. " I answered with his big fingers and a level.

"Thank you, baby." she said and kissed me on the forehead.

"May I be honest with you one more thing, it's hard but no matter how I have to tell you. After I tell you this, it's up to you to take what kind of steps ahead."

"What is Riana? You're making me worry and not calm."

"Saka, maybe some of these people think this is a disgrace. Yes, this mistake was so great that sometimes I cursed myself. Crying sobbing alone at night. I am well aware of this mistake." My tears somehow suddenly fell.

"What is this Riana? Speak, why are you crying?" Tanya Saka started to rile.

"I made mistakes in the past, I'm not sure you'll accept that."

"Dad but what?"

"I'm no longer a virgin."

The deleg!!!

Finally what I have kept tight all this time has been revealed as well. I'm not why Saka will be disappointed to leave me. It would be even more disappointed if he knew when we were married. Let it be, let it be, I've thought it all over.

I saw that the look on Saka's face did not change in the slightest, it was still the same and did not respond excessively.

Saka's reaction instead, he gradually approached and hugged me just like that. What the hell does this mean? instead I was the one being asked the question because the reaction I was expecting was completely different.

"That's enough, you don't cry anymore. Even if I'm not the first one for you, then let me be the last one to spend time with you. Look Riana, are you a virgin are you not a virgin, let that happen anyway. I can't even tell if I'm a virgin or not?"

Hearing him say that, the sobbing me smiled instead. Saka is different. Thank God. He hugged me back very tightly, he also kissed my forehead many times. Maybe he was trying to calm me down from feeling depressed for keeping this matter alone.

When she hugged me, she turned to my lips. He gently buried his lips, doing small strokes. My blood rippled violently, slowly I returned the kiss and created a kind of whip and whimper that occasionally came out on my lips in between the moss.

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Not everyone has a past, but indeed few are willing to forgive the past and learn that life goes on. Like it or not, the past is still part of the journey that colors our lives.