Show One Star to NAIYSA

TSBUN~Episode 08's

 

A SMILE that I often imagine when saturated ambush me, jokes and laughter that I always remember to just expel my fatigue if struck, and the praise that always ringing in my ears as my fatigue release now appears together in the recitation of my heart, I still remember the first message Dika to me he will return to this village, he said,and when he comes back he'll be waiting where we used to meet, a place where it's always been a meaningful meeting and those memories are always neatly stored in my mind.

I was standing in front of the mirror my stretcher trying to listen to my appearance.I was wearing a slightly blushing pich-colored dres, although the color had faded but it was enough to make me feel comfortable with the dres,and I'm sure that this first meeting will be very meaningful with Dika after all this time we didn't meet.

And this will certainly be a little treat for the longing that has long since disappeared.

And suddenly I feel wrong with my current situation, a feeling of groggy to nervous suddenly against me, cold heat and merta make me a fever.

Yes, the fever between wanting to meet but there is a shame that ambushed me, no matter what kind of face Dika is currently, I smiled at the thought of it.

I am very grateful if Dika is waiting in an ordinary place, but if all that is not true then my hope is just one hand.

Distressed ???

 

With a slow step I tried to slowly stomp my footing until it continued to tread with a roar of nonsense in my heart it felt like this meeting did not make me sure it would end happily.

Somehow the anxiety, until a worry continues to wrestle accompany every beat of my heart.

My steps stopped and I stared straight at my path, between the pine trees I stared stiffly and almost a basket filled with strobery fruit that I tightly blocked apart from my grasp.

I tried to clarify my view, if you were already in that place, but with Naysa's friends.

Yes Naysa was beside Dika with a cheerful look on her face.

Naysa was seen joking with Dika and they also looked more familiar, yes the friendship seemed to be still intact in the hearts of Dika and Naysa.

The look of Naysa's face looks so radiant series with occasionally he joked to take off the long long long miss he felt.I tried to listen behind a pine tree big enough to thwart me.

I try not to partake in their warmth in letting go of longing.

But....why should I hold back this step of mine, not that I and they are friends, as I welcome the coming of my little sabbath with joy.

But....., I realized I came up with a slightly different appearance this time, I didn't want Naysa to suspect this appearance of mine.

There was anxiety about Naysa's thoughts towards me, so let them dissolve in the meeting.

I also just watched from afar with various feelings, holding back not to feel jealous of the attitude of the two of them, Dika never forgot his promise proof he was in the usual place we met, Dika,but somehow Naysa was suddenly in the same place.

My mind drifted away, busy with the guesses and guesses I made myself, I shook my head as my mind was more and more fumbling, let my heart grow tired at this time with some questions milling in my head.

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I came home with a sense of disappointment buried in the corner of my heart, and my mind was at war against my mischievous logic that led me to think badly of Naysa and Dika.

And that thought managed to get to me until it controlled this self.

I tried to fight that jealousy, I explained if I, Naysa, and Dika were friends and I realized that all this time I had been cheating Naysa by loving Dika secretly.

My lips were clenched as this jealousy deepened in my mind it felt like fighting against this mind was very torturous even when it felt like pulling something I could not pull, it felt like fighting against this mind, until the tightness was very painful and I tried not to dissolve in this perverted feeling.

" Anna !! " The Grandmother's call surprised me and almost strobery in my bed was jolted.

" Granny." My cry was really surprised.

" How are you surprised by the gravestone ? what's up ?" Ask my grandmother no less surprised.

I sighed while gently rubbing my chest.

" Anna again dumbass suddenly Grandma called, Anna was shocked to be granny." As if a little annoyed. But for a moment I stared at my Grandma who had just recorded me from toe to hair with various questions in her mind.

" Why grandma ?" I asked a little bit

" Where are you going to tea ?" Grandma asked while sitting on my side, she smiled teasingly at me and her smile managed to embarrass me by myself.

" Hmm, where's Grandma." My answer immediately rattled back my appearance to look mediocre.

" You are beautiful today." Grandma said praising me and I also managed to blush.Feel really embarrassed for him I was in front of my Grandma.

I realized I'd never look this good in front of my grandmother.

" Hm... Anna,anna was just.." As I was with a little membrane, I don't know what to say to stop my grandmother from looking at me curiously.

Grandma was still looking at me with a full sense of her intelligence and her gaze was filled with various questions.

Oh LORD help me to be content in the feelings I am experiencing right now, it feels like my Grandmother's gaze this time is as if it is stripping me naked and it makes me very embarrassed.

Suddenly Grandma smiled gently at me as if she would know what I was going through right now.

" Granny is even smiling like that." I asked with the hue of my face flushed.

I tried not to subdue my grandmother's suspicions so I was misbehaving.

" hi.hi... Grandma was young for Anna." He stood up and stood in front of me. Hearing my Grandma's words my feelings were getting worse, my Grandma looked at me full of probing like a dictator trying to figure something out.

" Grandma knows you're best friends with the son of the boss Kos and more than that." His words were so clear, and it surprised me a little and embarrassed me infinitely, if it is true that my Grandmother knew of this confusion, then my Grandmother was very good to be able to pay attention to my attitude without my knowledge.

" Granny." I screamed with a nearly restrained voice.

" The grandmother was none of you An, and the Grandma knew what you had been hiding from Grandma." My Neneku's words gently caressed my still unraveled hair.

I was more and more stunned to hear my grandmother's words.

Aah I felt like I was holding my Grandmother tightly and pouring out all my pent-up feelings and spilling the anxiety of the heart that was struggling in my discomfort, this, but I tried to keep him from trying to keep this feeling and resisted for the very precise guesses of my Grandmother's feelings.

" Granny, Anna was just friends with the son of the cost manager." While trying to argue.

My grandmother stared in disbelief.

" May you not lie, cover up your true feelings." Grandma said with full intonation.

Again my grandmother's words made me not wince.

" Once again, you will feel tormented by your own feelings, Grandma is not someone you can just lie to." Grandma said with a look at me for sure.

I can't give any more, My grandmother is an expert at guessing my feelings, no...!maybe Grandma knew about my relationship with Dika all along, or just her behavior, but surely I could not give up on this feeling anymore.

I sighed and looked inside my grandmother.

" Hopefully Anna's feelings Naysa won't find out Grandma, Anna knows these feelings are wrong." I finally admit that feeling.

With tightness I hugged my Grandma's body tightly, only my Grandma could really understand my condition and it made me very comfortable and calm.

There's no secret I've been keeping all this time, everything Grandma knows, without me even having to explain it, a Grandma's feelings are so sensitive to her grandchildren.After that there is a feeling that just disappears that obstructs in my inner realm.

" Grandma knows that, but if you can give me a little advice, stop wishing for Kos's son, because you have to remember that we won't be one level with Anna's family." Obviously Grandma with a heavy voice.

My grandmother reminded me and her words immediately hit my heart.

Yes indeed I am too sure if Dika will be able to find me as I am, do not I mirror fully if I with Dika like heaven and earth is impossible if I reach it.

my grandmother's words felt a prison for the feelings I felt right now, the feelings that would hinder my love that I used to express, the love that I used to pray to be a do'a to be together, she said, but in fact my grandmother firmly realized me in buayan mimipi that would not be possible to come true.

" Never hope for anything that is impossible for us." My grandmother said again to break my heart, I fell silent with a feeling that was getting hurt.

" We must always be self-aware of who we are Anna." Grandma said while holding me tightly, a clear melt did not feel flowing in the valley of my eyes and slowly down my cheeks, this is my destiny I must realize that.

And I really have to wake up from this false hope, and I shouldn't have expected more than I ever felt for a Dika.

I sobbed softly, My grandmother has awakened me from this conviction of taste, her words which were thrown from her mouth like a loud slap in my high-mindedness about a taste I had.

Let me be disappointed for now, let it be, it may be true that the one who deserves to be with Dika is Naysa because they are one caste, they are one level but not with me, and this feeling will probably remain a sense of friendship that will never turn into anything.