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TSBUN Episdoe 28

 

WHEN my feelings are no longer attached to someone's heart, there is a determination to really get out of the Zone of feelings I once echoed in the name of Love, love that at least once made me feel more meaningful life, love that has introduced me to happiness for the first time.

But slowly it began to fade in my heart when faced with a sacrifice.

I was silent in my loneliness trying to establish this feeling of mine, and out of nowhere the feeling came suddenly.There was a longing that I could no longer ignore the figure of a man named Panji.

Yes I am not hypocritical I know the risk of my brave attitude to love someone, is my feeling the stakes, love is not easy to change the taste, but love easily grows the taste just like that.

Tonight I sat alone, staring at my wooden window, gazing out of the stars scattered in the distant sky, there was a bright star shining down on me.

That's the star he always hoped for a Naysa, I stared fixedly at the star until almost without blinking, that's the star he always asked Naysa to return home, Naysa, I smiled trying to recast my memories.

I was once happy with a feeling I used to call Love, which grew up in my childhood, maybe it wasn't Love ! precisely the excessive sympathetic feeling between a boy against his girlfriend.I who always get bullied the friend, always got a special defense from one of the boys of my humanity.

That was how often I was in his arms and as often as that my sympathies arose in this heart.

So that I can feel great happiness when I am at his side.

Y**aa this is called love, there is an extraordinary comfort I feel and it at least gives birth to a feeling of mutual love with the presence of the feeling of Love, even though it is just a monkey love.

I was embarrassed to think about that time, but now all are just memories and false hopes that at any time will slip from the grasp of this taste and yawn somewhere.

My smile receded, my memory rested on the one sentence Panji had said before his departure, he would meet me after his graduation.

Is that really true ???

or just make me happy for a moment, oh !!

Suddenly my heart was pounding incoherently, the beat was getting firmer.Perhaps this feeling began to turn to him or was it just a mere escape of taste ?

I don't know until now I haven't managed to get rid of my feelings for Dika, the man who loved me in childhood until this very moment, I can't escape it yet.

I bowed with the feeling of being twisted.

It feels like I'd like to scramble the rest of the world to vent into this gamangan.

 

I walked along the path to Naysa's house, I just remembered that yesterday afternoon my grandmother told me to deliver Strowbery order Nyai.

Two strowbery baskets I carry with me passionately, I can get more money from selling this stobery fruit and I will save from the Strobery fruit sales.

Upon arrival in front of Nyai House some employees seemed busy with some tea sacks ready for sunbathing, I was trying to find the person closest to the door so I could open the gate without screaming to him.

" Who's Nenk Anna looking for ?"

Suddenly Mang Sarif poked out from behind the gate and surprised me.

" Eh mang sarif ! Is there a ?" Ask me politely.

" Nyai just went with Nyai ceu ceu An." Answer Mang Sarif from behind the gate.

" If Nay had ?" Ask straight.

" Mah Neng Nay had just returned home, after a morning walk, but the rich tea had entered his room again.!" Clearly mang Sarif with his distinctive Sundanese accent.

My eyebrows shriveled to tell the story of Mang Sarif there was a curious feeling that slipped in my mind.

" Who is Nay walking around in the morning ?" Askaqua.

" The Same With Dika..!" Mang Sarif answered so innocently.

For a moment I thought, maybe Dika is still inside Naysa's house.

" Keep Dikanya has gone home yet mang ?" I asked with anxious hopes, I hope not to meet Dika this time.

"It looks like mah is still in neng, maybe again take his car.Den Dika was parked inside." It was clear that Mang Sarif was innocent and honest.

" Oh that's it ! yes already or this strowbery Nyai message please save it yes, later tell Nyai if nyai already home." I said while rushing to offer the two stobery baskets.

" I'll go home first." Pamitku hurry.

" O good Neng Anna, later Sang Sarif convey to Nyai." Reply Mang Sarif friendly.

" Thank you very much, Mang." Saying slowly.

" Together with Neng Anna." Reply to Sang Sarif grinning.

I turned my body and was about to step.

" Eh Neng Anna wait !" Sergah mang Sarif held back my steps.

I looked up and looked questioningly.

" What's up Mang ?" I asked impatiently.

" Neng Anna already knows that Neng Nay will be going to Jakarta tomorrow ?" Ask mang Sarif slowly.

Suddenly I was surprised and curious about what was said by Mang Sarif just now.

My fair wrinkled skin displays a deep sense of curiosity.

" What's the matter with Nay to Jakrta ?" I asked in wonder.

I saw a signal of fear emanating from the look on Sang Sarif's face.

" Said neng Nay want to be moved for treatment," replied mang sarif quite briefly.

I sighed, did Naysa's condition get worse so he had to go to the city?I was busy wondering.

" Mang Sarif knows where if Nay will move his treatment ? " Muse me again by occasionally looking towards the inside of the page, why do I feel afraid if Dika will come suddenly.

" Nyai who said, so Beliu tea is now gone, want to buy Neng Nay needs for tomorrow." Mang Sarif was wise.

I nodded to understand what was said by Mang Sarif.

" Oh so that's the case.., "Speak hangs, it feels like I feel something unusual about Naysa's attitude this time, I'm sure something has changed from Naysa's attitude to me at this moment.

Some days I did not have time to meet him even accompany him in because of my work that is quite a lot lately, so I did not have time to meet and accompany him just to talk or hear the story.

Well I was wrong. I'm too busy, I'm slow.

" Yes already oruh Mang, I say yes first !" Gegasku immediately stepped back and left Mang Sarif who was still staring at me in the doorway.

I walk with a variety of feelings of worry that increasingly enveloped my feelings.

There is an attitude of Naysa that currently makes me feel uncomfortable, and it managed to make me wonder about his attitude lately.In my heart was wondering about the plan of Naysa's sudden departure will pursue, at least he always told me if there was anything with him.

But this time I knew the plan was from the manang Sarif not from him.

My feelings are getting more and more raving I don't know what's going on with my best friend ???but I try to be kind to him and I don't want to think too much.

I quickly rushed home, but in the middle of my step suddenly a car tricked me quite hard.

I combed to the side of the road to make way for the car.

But the car horn did not stop even though I was on the side of the road.I was curious and ventured to look at the car.

At the sight of Dika Car was behind me and stopped, but quickly I quickly accelerated my steps to leave him.....,,

" Anna wait !! " Serkah Dika got out of his car and chased me quickly.

I shook my head to hear Dika's call.

I took a deep breath and turned with my laziness.

" What's wrong, Dik ?" I asked stiffly, as if I were reluctant to wait for him.

" Where are you from ?" Dika asked looking at me gently.

" From Nay's house ?? how did I not see you there ?" Tanya began to look at me suspiciously.

" I'm just up to the gate." I answered trying not to linger with him, because the distance of Naysa's house is not far from where I am today.

" Why come to the gate, you don't see Nay first, why ?" The question is getting worse.

" I'm just delivering Nyai's order, Dik.." Short reply.

" Was it hard for you to stop by for a while to see Nay, is it because you saw my car so reluctant to stop by ?" tanya Dika looked at me sharply, I began to catch the angry feeling from her tone Dika.

I sighed with annoyance.

" Yes !! " My answer is short.

" Why the hell An?just because you know I was there you didn't stop by first? What the hell is it ?" Again Dika asked with a full tone of inquiry.

" It's okay! I'm just in a hurry." Reply reasoned.

" Mexi was in a hurry as much as you could meet Nay first, how could you have run into Nay already ?" Said Dika cynically.

I was desperate to hear his words Dika who was quite disturbing my heart.

" I heard, I just delivered Nyai's order, not to meet him Nay, anyways I know you're both the same as Nay." Obviously I tried to give alesan.

Dika looks to smile cynically towards me then she grieves softly.

" Heh you must be jealous, can't you see I'm both Nay?" He spoke with a tone full of intonation.

Suddenly the statement made me a little hooked on my emotions.

" How jealous is he ?." As flat.And looked annoyed at Dika.

" Ohh !!! only once, who knows you still have the same feeling with me." Said Dika lightly, this time his voice began to sound mocking me.

I looked up and refused to respond to him.I tried to calm down and not be provoked by his words.

" Are you, right ?? that feeling still exists ?" Tanya Dika mali sucks.

I rolled my eyeballs with a slap.Since when can a Dika be annoying like this.

" We're just friends now." Ketus.

Dika grieved as if he did not believe my words.

" When we're friends, why don't you go home with me, you can wait a minute for me to come home together." Dika is getting calmed.

" No, Dik !! I'll just go home by myself." My answer is getting tighter.

" why the hell are you always avoiding me..?" Tanya Dika looked at me seriously, this time her eyes look so deep.

I averted my gaze to avoid Dika's gentle gaze.

" I'm not avoiding." Short reply.

" Then ?"

Dika asked with sharp eyes waiting for a definite answer.

" I know you not a day two An, far away I have recognized who you are.Lately you have always avoided if you meet me." It was clear with a voice that was getting lower.

" With me this keeps Nay feeling." Reply slowly.

Dika looked to frown his forehead with a feeling of wonder.

" Why ?? why do you always keep your feelings on Nay ? while your own guess is no one cares." Imbuh Dika with a voice that began to sound annoyed at his tone of speech.

" Dic !! I'm asking us not to talk about our feelings anymore, it's all just the past." I said with a ketus.

" What is An ?? so you've assumed all this is over ? but I'm doing all this just an An's play." Sergey Dika with a feeling of unworthiness.

I was stuck after hearing Dika's words.

" Dika !! " As flabbergasted.

Dika nodded at me with frustration.

" I can't stand this charade anymore, I can't lie to my feelings anymore Anna" he explained, looking seriously at me.

" Enough Dik !! all this time I suspected that you were sincere in love with Nay and I also hoped much for you to be able to love Nay as sincerely as you are." I said with a lot of emphasis.

" But I can't lie to my feelings, An, and I can't love her any more than you do Nay." Sergey Dika is no less heavy intonation of his voice.

I was overwhelmed by the feeling of fear.

" But..," I said hanging.

" You can't feel what I'm feeling right now, every day I have to go on a show with my own feelings, to be honest I can't anymore An has to keep going on like this." Obviously, Dika is enough to make my feelings go unnoticed.

" Come, please remember ! I've expected nothing from you but friendship and I've forgotten everything, even if it takes time." Clearly I was trying to give Dika some understanding that seemed to be holding back a feeling buried in her heart.

Dika looked pusar at me with eyes that I could not understand.

" This time alone, I beg you to forget that taste for Nay." I pleaded for a feeling I sacrificed.

" But until when should I hide all these feelings An?I didn't get my heart to look at Naysa, and to what extent I had to keep on performing just to be able to give her false hope.Obviously I can't be An, I'm not that cruel either.." obviously Dika look really heavy.

" Enough Dik !! for my sake.I beg you not to hurt Nay, he has the right to be happy for his love for you." I said, pleading with Dika not to change her decision.

Dika looked at me with Nanar there was a clear melt flowing from the corner of his eyes, at a glance I saw the image of a face of pity that mingled with such deep sadness, between fret and fear mingled into one.

Slowly Dika tightly gripped my hand that was still begging her.

" You don't have to beg for me An.-" suddenly a raucous voice interrupted from behind her body Dika, I turned towards that voice, I looked up, and Naysa stood right behind Dika with her body shaking.

As if a hard object had struck my heart, I had not expected even a single hair if Naysa was between me and Dika, who from then on might have listened fully to what I was talking about with Dika.

Dika slowly released his grip and turned stiffly towards Naysa who was standing not far from him.

" Nay.-" as it was, and I quickly wiped away the tears that had soaked my cheeks.

Naysa was silent, his face was chaotic.

" You guys !! hikss "Say Naysa said by trying to resist the crying that was about to break.

Trudgingly Naysa tried to stand perfectly.

Nasya shook his head with a soft sob, he decided to immediately leave from before me.Naysa turned his body like he was about to run away from me and Dika.

" Nay !! listen to me first !" My sergeant quickly.

But unfortunately Naysa brushed off my hand and refused my request.At first glance I saw that he was so very angry looking at me, his lips quivering as if holding back the anger that had already peaked, his eyes began to be flooded by tears.There were no more words or sentences he could say other than sobbing so deeply.

" Nay !Nay let me explain everything." My love held my best friend's step.

" Don't touch me !! you don't have to explain anything !! all is clear." screeched Nay in a furious tone.

I cried hysterically at Naysa's anger.

" Nay wait !! I beg you." The rottaku.

But Naysa again refused my request, with all her might ran away leaving me who continued to cry with a sobbing.

All has happened, Naysa has known what I have been hiding tightly.What I feared all this time also, Naysa hates me and hates me so much.

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