Second Time

KEN-HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PAST

I just finished exercising on this very sunny Sunday. Since the morning I've been pedaling my bike around and then stopping in the city park. I parked my bike and ran around the park and came back home when the sun was rising.

I sat in the gazebo of the back garden, today some roses have started to bloom. It was very calm to stare and breathe in the soothing fragrance of flowers. I have always been here enjoying the beauty of the rose petals that bloom before they are picked by the waiters to be sent to the flower shop.

I sat down and enjoyed the warm milk the waiter had brought me. After looking at the flowers, I leaned back on the chair and stared at the table. I accidentally saw my phone lying there, somehow I suddenly remembered Nayra who called me yesterday.

Nayra, that woman's name will never be forgotten. Ayra, I used to call her, my favorite call to her, first. I told you a little about my relationship with him a while ago, didn't I? First love is the first wound. Painful? Sure was! I was hurt for a long time.

I admit I was once a wounded man just out of love. Sounds funny, but that's the truth. If you talk about the past, there will be no end. I'm not hurt anymore, but I think memories are static and humans are dynamic. Memories will remain, but humans can be fickle. That's a word that can describe the relationship between my current situation.

In another sense the memories will always remain and will always be remembered but I have changed, not the Ken that used to be. Sometimes we decide about memories, to be a lesson or maybe to be grasped back. Basically a little bit of memory will affect our current life. Like me now, Nayra just said hello but it made me think hard.

Obviously not because I still love her but because I think about Jane. I'm afraid things I don't want will happen if Nayra and Jane meet. I'm afraid Jane misunderstood, and I haven't actually told Jane anything about my relationship with Nayra yet.

Yesterday I felt it wasn't important to tell Jane because Jane didn't ask me about my life either and I was too sure that I wouldn't go back to my life. But I was wrong, and I really came back. Now it feels like it's important and I'm confused how to tell Jane when Nayra comes back.

I cursed myself why yesterday I had to pick up the phone from that unknown number. I also condemn this sense of caring that has always been in me, in the sense of caring not only for Nayra but for everyone who needs help. Nayra asked for help to find a place to stay because she doesn't know anyone here but me and I can't say no.

"Ah, why do you have to work here, Nayra?" My head feels pain thinking about the real thing is very unimportant but could have an effect on my life in the future.

One more thing that makes me feel a little strange, after the incident at that time why now Nayra sounds ordinary to greet me. Doesn't she feel a little guilty or a little awkward asking for my help after hurting my feelings? Or did he forget his treatment of me first? Or because he knew that I could never refuse a request for help from anyone?

Huh, is it possible that I am too overthinking? Hopefully Nayra will just ask for help, after which she will no longer bother me. Hopefully, I can't think badly first. Thinking positive will make me feel better.

It was about noon, I grabbed my phone and called Jane. I called a few times but was not answered, until the umpteenth phone call then I heard the sound of Jane's voice over there. Of course I smiled, just hearing a little bit of his voice had made me feel healthy again.

"Jane?"

"Mmm, Ken? is that you?" The voice was a little hoarse and like muttering, surely this girl was still gathering her life.

"You just woke up?" I chuckle.

"Mmm, yeah, exactly don't want to wake up." Still with an unclear murmur.

"It's Sunday, don't you want to see me?"

"You know, but I'm still sleepy." I heard Jane pulling and exhaling slowly.

"Wake up, it's noon, you always skip breakfast on the holidays."

"M." Mmm." Just a lazy mutter.

"Jane get up, I'll go to your place."

"Mmm, yeah."

I disconnected the phone, smiling at my phone. Remembering Jane, my girl who is very diligent working but very lazy on holidays. I miss him so much today, obviously I want to see him soon.

I rushed to my room, ready to go to Jane's apartment. I drove the car, wanted to get to her place and meet the girl. I'm reminded of Jane who just woke up, of course she hasn't eaten. I decided to stop by the supermarket to buy some groceries. After I think I'm shopping enough I'll be heading to Jane's apartment.

On Jane's apartment doorstep I've been hitting the bell repeatedly. But there was no sign that the girl would open the door. Long enough that I decided to call her back but not pick up at all. Jane are you back to sleep? I finally contacted Grace, only she can be called for help right now.

"Grace?"

"Ken? What's up?"

"Where are you?"

"In the apartment."

"About Jane?"

"You're good to guess now." I chuckle.

"Yes, because I know you'll only call me when it comes to Jane."

"Yes, I'm sorry to bother you, but I really need your help right now."

"What do you need?"

"Can you open Jane's apartment door? I brought him groceries but he didn't open the door, it seemed to be sleeping."

"Well, I'll go down, wait a minute."

"Thank you."

I waited for about fifteen minutes and Grace finally came to see me. She opens the door to Jane's apartment using an access card, apparently a duplicate of Jane's. Of course I'm very grateful to Grace for always helping me.

"Come in."

"Aren't you coming in?" I asked Grace who was about to walk away.

"I'm going back upstairs, I have a lot to do. Just go in, wake up Jane, the kid must be snoring in his bed." Grace chuckled mockingly at her own best friend.

"Is it okay for me to go in alone while the boy is sleeping?"

"Hey, I trust you, Ken, I'm sure you won't steal or do anything bad to Jane." Grace gave a small laugh.

"Of course, I'm not a thief let alone a criminal."

"What's up with today? why do you bother so much?" Grace smiled looking at the shopping bag I was carrying.

"I'm worried about your best friend's health, it looks like she skips breakfast every day of the holiday."

"Of course, that's his habit." Grace laughed again. "Come in, I'll be back now." Grace walked away from me.

"Thank you Grace."

"Yes." Yeah." Grace replied from a distance.

I got into Jane's apartment awkwardly, ah I feel like I'm a thief, entered without any knowledge that has a place. I walked slowly looking for the kitchen, I had been here once but only in the living room so I did not know the ins and outs of this apartment. It is not difficult to find it, because this apartment is not too big. I put the groceries on the table and returned to the living room looking for Jane's room.

There are two rooms in this apartment, I'm guessing which one is Jane's room. I knocked on one of the doors but there was no answer. Finally I opened the door but there was no one there, only a few closets, it looks like the room was made into a dressing room by Jane.

I knocked on the second door, and there was no answer. I opened the door and found a very dark room. It seemed like the owner of the room did not let the slightest bit of sunlight enter inside. I walked slowly towards the window, opening the thick curtains until the sunlight burst in and highlighted the face of the beautiful girl sleeping sideways at the window.

"Grace, it's a habit of you always interrupting my sleep on the holidays." Jane muttered without opening her eyes, she pulled her blanket over her head.

I just smiled at Jane's behavior, like she thought I was Grace. I slowly walked up to her, sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed Jane's head covered in blankets.

"Jane, wake up."

Jane pulled out the blanket and popped her head. He opened his eyes a few times and looked at me. He rubbed his eyes again with his hands, confirming once again what he saw. I smiled at her innocent face upon waking up, so adorable.

"Ken?" Jane immediately woke up and sat down, it seemed like her drowsiness had disappeared.

...****************...