Second Time

MISTAKES IN THE PAST (4)

It's been over a month since my parents' divorce and half a month since my mother's departure, everything has been a dream to me. The flash of a pleasant life turned so quickly into sadness. This one month seemed to be beating me all out, hurting me and seizing the precious things in my life. I was down, but I kept trying to get up. There is Andres who until now encouraged me, he barely moved from beside me for one month.

I was finally able to regain control of myself, rising from the cries of sadness that restrained me. I even changed all the decorations in the house that I occupied at this time, so that I did not remember too much the fun events that turned sad at that time in this house. I collected all the belongings of father and mother, I put them in a big room at home, if I miss them I will be in that room all day.

As I began to reorganize my life, I resolved all my problems and returned to being the Dafa I used to be. But there's one thing I can't solve, my problem with Defina. I've been ignoring it for over a month.

I loved her so much, but after my parents' divorce, somehow my heart blamed her for everything that happened. I spent time with him every day, being by his side all day so I was unaware of my parents' circumstances. I didn't realize the problems my parents faced until they divorced.

Once again I love him so much, but my heart really blames him. I didn't realize I was reneging on my promise to not hate and blame anyone. I decided not to see him anymore. I know I'm selfish, deciding things unilaterally, but this is my choice. I chose to leave it and suppress my sense of affection that I myself was not sure would just disappear.

Every day Defina always sends me messages and calls sometimes, but I don't pay attention to it at all. Even every day she would come to my house, knock on the door and hang my favorite bottle of yogurt on the doorknob, but I never opened the door even for her. Almost every day he sat in the park near my campus gate just to wait and see me but also totally ignored.

Defina would never see me even though I was passing in front of her because now I'm driving back to campus, a new car that she won't know. Defina never gives up, she always does the same thing every day. I always watched her from the window of my room on the second floor. Seeing her come home with her tired face after hanging a small shopping bag with a bottle of yogurt on the doorknob, I always picked up the shopping bag after she left my house.

I felt tightness in my chest every time I saw her coming. Sometimes I want to open the door for her and hug her tight. But the ego still sits at the highest position in me making me always undo my intentions.

Right today one year after the sad incident back then. Today was my graduation day, my father kept his promise to come to my graduation. After the event was over we celebrated by eating together and going to the family. As the day went on, cloudy clouds filled the sky. Dad and I went home, but he went back to see one of his business partners.

Although years passed, Defina did not stop coming to my house doing the same thing every day until now. It was late afternoon, soon evening. The sky had darkened because it was raining very heavily. I looked at the rain through the window of my room, suddenly the sound of a motor stopped in front of my house. I saw Defina coming back, she's even still wearing her graduation outfit.

Defina ran to my door, hung something there that I knew must be a bottle of yogurt. His body was soaked in rain, suddenly my heart felt so sick to see him. It felt like I wanted to go down and open the door, giving a warm blanket to his body that looked shivering with cold. But once again the ego keeps beating me keeps me from flinching from where I stand.

After hanging up the shopping bag, Defina immediately rushed up to her motorbike and left my house. Maybe he'll be home soon because it's getting dark. After Defina left I rushed to turn on the room lights and went downstairs to pick up the shopping bag hanging on the doorknob. I hugged her as if it was Defina.

I just realized that I've been so outrageous to her. I regret leaving him without any clarity at all. Now I realize how sincere Defina feels about me. I promised myself to open the door for her when she came tomorrow. I'll meet him and apologize for all my mistakes.

But what happened was not what I expected. Tomorrow he won't come to my house, I wait for him for a week but he won't come. I kept waiting for him until half a month passed, but he still did not come. The messages he used to send every day are no longer there.

I decided to go to his house, the big house looked very quiet. I knocked on the door of his house, but no one opened the door. I took the initiative to ask the neighbor Defina who I happened to see was in front of her house taking care of her pet bird.

"Excuse me sir."

"Yes, what's wrong, son?" The aged man stopped his activities.

"I want to ask, do you know who lives across the house now where?" I pointed at Defina's house.

"Oh they seem to have moved, son, a few weeks ago."

"really?" I'm a little surprised."

"Do you know where they're moving?"

"So, you don't know anything at all, son."

"Oh well, thank you sir." I passed from that place.

I kept looking for Defina's whereabouts, I went back to her house a few times but there was no result at all. The house looks always quiet, there is no sign that the residents of the house are back. The last time I was there, I finally met a waiter at the house.

"Excuse me, sir."

"Yes, sir?"

"Is the servant's father here?"

"Master sir."

"I don't know, sir." the waiter shook his head.

"Thank you?"

"Yes, my wife and I were just told to take care and clean this house. I've never even met the owner of this house, sir."

"Who told you to?"

"Sir Rudy, he's RW's manager here."

"May I ask for Mr. Rudy's address?"

"Of course, sir."

The waiter gave Rudy's address to me. I rushed to the address, about five minutes I was in front of the green house. It's my last hope to find Defina's whereabouts.

"Excuse me ma'am." I greet a middle-aged woman.

"Yes, what's wrong, son?"

"Is this Mr. Rudy's house, ma'am?"

"Yes, son."

"Do you have a mom?"

"So son, I'll call you a minute, please sit down." The mother let me sit on the porch seat.

I sat in the chair pointed by the mother earlier, not long out the middle-aged man I guessed was Mr. Rudy. I immediately stood up and greeted the man. He smiled and sat down on the chair next to me.

"Sorry sir has interfered with your time, I'm Dafa sir." I introduced myself.

"It's okay, son, I'm Rudy. What is the need to find me? Looks like this Dafa boy isn't a citizen around here." She's staring at me

"Yes sir, I am not a citizen here. I'm a friend of his son Sir Wira who lives in a big brown house there." I pointed at the direction of the road I was walking.

"Oh yeah, Defina's friend?"

"Yes sir. Do you know where they moved?"

"Hmm, I don't know son, yesterday I was only told by the butler of the house that Mr. Wira's family was leaving because of urgent business. A few months later the butler came back to tell me that Mr. Wira's family decided to move. The waiter asked me to find a trustworthy person to take care of the house, I entrusted that task to Mr. Dody and his wife because I knew they were honest people. I also did not have time to ask where Pak Wira's family moved so I don't know at all."

"Do you have the butler's number?"

"Sorry Dafa, I don't have it either."

"All right, sir, thank you very much."

"Together."

I say goodbye and go home soon. Dismissed my hopes of finding information there. How can no one know where the Defina family moved. I did not give up after that, I still continued to search for Defina everywhere but I really did not find her at all.

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