Second Time

GRACE-YOU AGAIN

It was already very late afternoon, the sky was getting dark. I stood on the balcony of the apartment staring at the rain that was falling very heavily. I like the rain, somehow the sound of rain calms the heart, if it rains at night then I will fall asleep very quickly just because I hear the sound. For a long time I stood here, not moving a bit from my place even though sometimes raindrops hit my face and body when the wind blows strong.

Suddenly I felt my head throbbing, pain assaulting my head. Whatisthis? Why does it feel so dizzy. I clung to the balcony guardrail, slowly slumping my body against the balcony railing. I hold my head which continues to throb.

I closed my eyes, slowly I saw a flash of my head. I saw myself running through the rain in front of a big house with a small shopping bag. My body looks soaked and shivers of cold. I hung the shopping bag on the doorknob of that big house.

I woke up and opened my eyes slowly, stood up and walked slowly away from the balcony. I went into the room and got into bed, leaning my body against the back of the bed. I drank the mineral water on the bedside table. I held my temples that didn't stop pulsing.

What the hell was I looking at? Did I see myself in the past? Is my memory slowly returning? I'm sure that was really me, what was I doing? I seem to recognize that house but whose house? Obviously, that's not my home. I tried to remember but couldn't at all, my head hurt the more I thought about it.

I took my phone on the table, I wanted to call Jane. I just remembered that Jane is in Singapore right now. I better not bother him, let him enjoy his time with his family there. I put my phone back on the table.

Just now I put it down suddenly my phone rings, I stare at the phone screen. Dafa's name was listed there, for a moment I felt confused, why did the president contact me? I pressed the receive button and stuck the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Grace?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything."

"Are you just keeping quiet?"

"That's how."

"Are you sick?"

"No, just a little dizzy."

"Dizziness? You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Really?" Dafa's voice sounded different, sounding like a little worried.

"really." I nodded even though I wouldn't be seen by him.

"All right, I'll call you later."

"Yes." Yeah."

Dafa turned off the phone, the boy's silliness came back. He called me just to ask me what I was doing. I smiled remembering the man, remembering everything about him always makes me feel good. Even at this time the dizziness in my head slowly evaporated after hearing his voice, even if only through a phone call.

I remembered Adel's remark a while ago about the long-lost Dafa lover. Adel even said that the girl looked like me, I don't know if it was true or if Adel was just joking. But a little bit I kept thinking about it because Adel looked serious about it. Dafa also did not reject him at all at that time.

I remembered the early treatment of Dafa to me, the man behaved differently to me from the beginning. Is it possible because I really look like her boyfriend? Has he been watching me just because of that? Did she treat me sweetly for seeing her lover on me? Huh why am I upset, why huh?

If that's true once I have to keep a little distance from her, I don't want her to approach me just because it's similar to her lover. Isn't that what would hurt me? What if I get carried away with her because she keeps treating me sweetly? What if I fall in love with her? And what would my fate be if the real Dafa lover returned. I who have fallen in heart of course will be eliminated, right?

I'm really upset right now, what am I supposed to do? How do I stay away if we meet every day at the office? Do I have to pretend to be funny to him? Ah that's not my nature, I can't ignore people who are nice to me. So how is it? I should what?

The sound of my apartment bell rang, I immediately came out of my mind. I get out of bed and walk out, who are these nights visiting? Jane can't be, the kid's not here. Nor do I feel like ordering food or anything online right now, I open the door with curiosity.

I gawked, a man I had just thought of standing with a smile on his doorstep, his hair and clothes looking wet might be exposed to the rain that was still pouring down heavily outside. He entered without excuse, walking quickly towards the kitchen. I closed the door and immediately chased after him. He was seen taking a plate and putting some food there. Dafa was seen arranging the dishes on the dining table, I shook my head to see the behavior of this strange man.

"Dafa."

"What?"

"Why are you here?"

"I just want to eat with you." Dafa looked at me.

"I told you..."

"I'm not used to bringing men into my house, what if Jane sees you in my apartment? That's what you're going to say, I've memorized to know." Dafa interrupted my words without feeling guilty at all.

"Hey." I was confused what else to say.

"What?"

"If you've memorized why are you still coming to my place?"

"Jane's not around, so it's okay, isn't it?"

"Continue?"

"I'm not used to it.."

"Yes, you'll get used to it." He interrupted my words again.

"A.what?" What does it mean that he will continue to be where I am until I get used to it?

"We should eat first, then we continue our debate. Don't you feel dizzy? Maybe you haven't eaten, so I bought you food." Dafa handed me a plate filled with food.

I finally sat down because I could not resist the charm of the food in front of me, the smell had already made my stomach feel very rumbling. Dafa seemed to smile at my behavior, as if he knew my weakness. I can't refuse to eat good food. I put aside the shame and ended up eating the food mercilessly.

"Do you still want to argue?" Dafa asked after we finished all the food.

"No." I answered briefly.

"You're so chatty when you're hungry." She laughs.

"Dafa?"

"Yes?" He looked at me.

"Thank you." I finally thanked him for being bought food by the man.

"Together." Dafa smiled sweetly.

"Are you not busy?"

"Yes, there's nothing I'm doing." Dafa nodded.

"I want to tell you." Finally I said it, this man already knows my problem, he also promised to help me to recall the memory of my time and I believed him.

"Tell me." Dafa smiled back.

"Today I remember something."

"really? What'sthat?"

"Memory behind the rain."

"Rain?"

"Yes, I remember when I ran through the rain in front of a big house, but it wasn't my house."

"You'll definitely remember that house later Grace, be patient." Dafa smiled.

"Yes, I hope."

"Let it go, little by little you'll be able to rearrange your memory Grace."

"Mmm, Daf?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for listening to me."

"Yes, thank you for telling me too."

I smiled at Dafa's face, a face that had always been near me for some time. The man even seemed to understand every time I felt lonely. Like this time he came when I had no friends to share with. Does he have a high sensitivity towards me.

I just remembered with her wet hair, I walked up to get a towel. I no longer gave it to Dafa but I immediately dried my own hair. Dafa seemed happy, take this as my gratitude for him.

"Hey, are you sensitive now?" Dafa chuckles.

"Little." I smiled a little embarrassed.

"Thank you."

"Yes, did you park in the parking lot outside to rain like this?"

"Mmm, yes, I want to hurry up here. So I'm not parked in the basement." Dafa laughed.

Outside parking is the most effective way if you are in a hurry. I also park there more often if I want to hurry. But if it rains like this I will definitely park in the basement even though it has to rotate a little so that when getting out of the car is not raining. If from the parking lot outside I just walk a little and will meet the elevator in the lobby. If through the basement, I have to pass the stairs are quite tiring first to get to the lobby.

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