Second Time

MISTAKES IN THE PAST (3)

A week passed, nothing changed in this house except the absence of the mother. I live my days as usual, go to work and go home. Once the cycle of his life, sometimes we chat for a while at dinner. He's really trying to stay strong even though I know how he feels right now.

After the breakup with mom, her face was not as happy as it used to be even though she always tried to hide it in front of me. Mom didn't come home, she lived in a boutique until during the divorce process. Only once did he come here to pick up some of his essentials, even when Dad was away at work.

They were like strangers, they no longer met each other except in the trial, nor did they greet each other. After the final trial ended, they officially divorced. Dad seemed to want to say hello to mother, maybe to say the last goodbye, but mother first dodged so that made father undo his intentions. In the end, they never spoke until now.

I knocked on my father's office door, he answered from the inside and let me in. He seemed to be busy with his work at the time, documents piled on his desk. I sat on the couch and looked at him at work.

"What's up, Dafa?" He stopped his activities and turned his head towards me.

"Dad, I've decided."

"Yes, what's your decision, Dafa?"

"I'm not going with you both."

"So?"

"I want to stay here."

"really? Are you okay alone?" Dad looked at.

"Dad, I'm not a kid anymore." I chuckle even though I feel sad.

"Dafa, whatever your decision father will not force anything." She smiles.

"Mmm, what about dad? don't you want to stay here?" I still kind of wish dad would choose to stay.

"Dafa, had there not been any memories here, I would have happily stayed." His face looks sad again.

"Yes, I understand." I'm nodding.

"Regardless of everything that happened, my feelings didn't change for your mother. That's what makes everything so hard for me."

"Dad."

"Only by going can I forget a little bit what was strung together with your mother." Dad leaned his body into his work chair. His eyes looked at the ceiling of the room.

"Alright, dad. Do what makes you happy again."

"I'm sorry I had to leave you, Dafa."

"It's okay, dad."

"Dad's gonna hand over one of my father's subsidiaries here for you to take care of."

"really?"

"Yes, prepare yourself, finish your lecture well. If you manage that subsidiary, you'll get a holding company in this town."

"Do I deserve it?"

"You deserve so much, you've never let Dad down. I believe you."

"Thank you, dad. I'll try and do my best."

"Good, be a strong boy. You're my only son, you're my only hope."

"Well dad, then what about dad?"

"Dad will take care of the parent company in Thailand."

"Yes, I will do it, you also have to visit me often." He chuckles.

"certain."

"Kabari when your lecture is over, Dafa. When you're at my graduation, I'll definitely come."

"What will you promise?"

"Yes." Yeah." He's nodding.

I chatted a lot with dad that night, he was really a very strong and responsible figure. This time I knew everything about him that he had always hidden from me. This man always tried his best for me and my mother even though everything had to end miserably. Today I fully realize that he is the perfect father figure for me.

Half a month has passed since the divorce, my father has left for Thailand. I let go of him heavily, finally the people I see every day leave me one by one. I've felt a loss before, Ken whom I thought brother should go far away. Now that my father and mother have also left me, should I be alone this quickly?

Two days after my father's departure to his home country, I visited my mother at her boutique. I saw the man she loved was there too, they were packing up because she was going to come back to XX Island, where both her mother and her man lived. I tried to accept everything, even though it was very heavy, I saw that mom was very happy with that man. I began to open my heart to accept the reality, however I wanted my mother to be happy.

But a very painful thing happened, the mother and the man had an accident while heading to the airport. They were rushed to the hospital, but their lives were not helped. I who never shed a tear for anything instantly fell down, my tears just spilled over hearing the news. I ran fast in the hospital corridor, I fell several times due to stepping on the wet floor but I didn't care at all. I want to meet mom.

I saw my mother lying stiff, and I thought it was all a dream. But this is so obvious reality, that lying in front of my eyes is really mom. I couldn't help my feelings, I cried shamelessly, I felt like I couldn't lose it this fast.

Andres managed to calm me down, Andres was Brian's nephew who was assigned to help me take care of the company by my father. After feeling a little calm I immediately contacted my father, father was very surprised by the news I delivered. I was willing to fly here to see Mom last time.

Dad had been by my side in less than 24 hours, and he helped out with my mother's funeral. The mother was buried in our hometown, while her lover was repatriated to be buried at his native place on the island of XX. On XX island there is no longer a close family, my grandparents have long died. While my mother's brother no longer lives there, my father and I decided to just have his funeral here. It also made it easier for me to visit her grave.

After the funeral was over, I didn't go home for a long time at my mother's grave. It was late afternoon, so I invited him home. With weight he left the mother's grave. There was no conversation on the way home. My father and I were in a deep mourning that we did not expect. My father and I kept quiet until it didn't feel like we were home.

The atmosphere of the dinner was very different from the usual. My father and I kept quiet, I saw my food almost untouched at all, it seemed like he was losing his appetite. I felt like I had lost something precious in my life. I actually also lost my appetite, but anyway I had to keep replenishing the energy in my body, so I forced to finish my food.

"Dafa." Finally, Dad opened his mouth.

"Yes?" I looked at his tired face, his eyes were cute and puffy.

"Is this father's fault?" he asked me.

"No dad, you're innocent." This time I couldn't hide his vulnerability.

"Dafa, I feel sorry for everything, if I don't let go of your mother, maybe this won't happen."

"Dad, you're innocent, the mother who has chosen the path for her own happiness."

"I wish she was happy after not being with me anymore, but the opposite is true."

"Mom was happy there dad, it wasn't dad's fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. This is God's word."

"Dafa, I'd rather see him go along with the man than see him go this way. I shouldn't have let go of your mother."

"Dad, we can't repeat what happened."

"It's dad's fault, Dafa." Dad's holding his temple.

"Take care of mom, dad. I've calmed down there, promise me not to hate anyone including myself." I spoke to her like she said a word to keep me from hating anyone back then.

Finally my father and I rested even though I could barely sleep all night. I'm actually no less sad than my father, but I try hard so that we don't both fall. One of us has to be an encouragement to the other even though it is very difficult to pretend to be tough.

Father did not immediately return to his country, every day he visited the mother's grave for a week. Dad brought her a bouquet of flowers and put them every day on mom's grave. I looked at her own face every time I went home, she couldn't seem to forget her mother at all. Is that the love of father to mother even though unrequited?

Dad finally had to go home to his country, he had left his job there too long. As if he was not willing to leave his mother, he advised me to always put a wreath on the grave of mother. I drove dad to the airport, I waved at him. Now that only father was left, sadness came back to my heart. Andres beside me rubbed my shoulders as if understanding my sadness, he invited me to go home immediately.

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