Second Time

JANE-STORY PAST (2)

"Jane."

"Don't ever try to see me again, let's just say we've never been together before."

I got up from my seat and left. The man got up and chased after me, he really did not want to let go of me. He blocked my arm tightly and went back begging.

"Jane, please, it's just a minute. I love you so much."

"Liam, you've chosen the best option for you."

"No, I don't want you to go."

"Liam, listen to me, that girl is best for you. Marry her, never hurt a woman." I said very calmly.

"Jane, please." Those are the only words that came out of his mouth because I knew he had lost all reason.

"I've let go of our relationship, Liam. Go with her, she's a good girl. Don't you get hurt for anyone else." I turned around and left him.

"Jane."

I no longer answered, he was still chasing me until I got in the car, he even kept tapping on my windshield. I no longer paid attention to it and immediately drove my car. I looked in the rearview mirror, I saw he was still chasing me until the speed of my car was no longer affordable by him.

I felt a drop of clear circles fall from the corner of my eye. I did not expect to release it in this perfect way, I did not shed tears at all in front of him, I suppressed all the emotions that were clumping in my heart. I really look tough in front of him, I hope it's the best decision of my life.

When I got home, I went into my room and locked it. I was crying so much that I was blowing all the emotions that had been held back. I threw away all the gifts and photos of our memories that I put on the walls of the room. I cleaned up everything until I was left. That night I cried all night until I was satisfied. I woke up in the morning feeling better because I could no longer cry.

I live my days as usual, nothing changes unless my feelings towards Liam gradually begin to fade. Wounds make me stronger, I'm not too sad to remember. But what happened, Liam did not just give up. He's still looking for me, calling me, begging me to come back to him.

A speck of ego always incites me to take it back, but all my logic reminds me to keep moving away from it. I was worried, but I finally answered. I prefer logic to ego because I believe my logic is healthier than ego.

From then on I dodged, blocked his number, whatever I did to stop him from calling me. Until finally Grace was assigned to run a cooperation project in Indonesia. Grace took me there, of course I gladly accepted.

Now I'm calm here, because there's very little chance that Liam will find me here. Although sometimes the new numbers I know must have Liam calling me often. The numbers I don't know I've never ignored, I've been so lazy to serve them. I once received that call because I thought it was one of my business associates, in fact it was Liam. She didn't change at all, kept begging me to go back to her.

I'm not the selfish type of person, I don't want to hurt anyone. I knew that Margaret was an innocent and kind girl who was very obedient with her parents, she accepted the match because she did not want to make her parents disappointed. I knew this information not because I was spying on it, but from one of my neighbors. I can't possibly hurt my own people's feelings just because of Liam's fault, I prefer to back off and let go of a man who can't even take responsibility for himself. I wish the girl was happy with Liam.

I heard from my friends in Singapore that in the near future Liam is getting married, they are abuzz with condolences for the death of my feelings. At the moment Liam is even still trying to contact me at times when he will get married, cih, the basic male loser. Just so she knew, I would never go back to her.

I still remember a little about the beautiful memories that once intertwined between me and Liam, but somehow I no longer have any feelings for him. However, those memories will probably continue to be in my memory, at least for a reminder that not all good relationships will end beautifully anyway.

Many have chased after me after my relationship ended with Liam, but I have not been able to fully open my heart to anyone. It's not that I'm still tied to the mass, it's just that I'm still reluctant to start a relationship again. I want to enjoy my life first after a long time in a relationship that finally extinct too.

There are so many things and hopes that I have to achieve right now, my life does not have to be about love and heartbreak. I'm not alone either, many people who love me are standing next to me. Spirited in every second of my life, I knew something beautiful would come someday. In spite of all the complicated mass, I am sure that there will be a better future. I'm sure there will be someone holding my hand sincerely later who will definitely never let me go.

I woke up from all my thoughts as my phone rang. I stared at the phone screen with Ken's secretary name on it. I was thinking for a second, what's the point of him calling these nights. I finally pushed the receive button.

"Hello."

"Hello, Jane."

"Yes, what's up Ken?"

"Are you asleep?"

"If I'm asleep, who's talking to you now?"

"Yes, yes, you haven't slept." He was laughing across the street.

"Of course." I smiled even though I was invisible to him.

"Do you want to sleep now?"

"Not yet, just start getting sleepy."

"Mmm okay, you better get some sleep now, Jane."

"Yes, yeah."

"Good night, Jane."

"Good night, Ken." I'm ending the phone call.

Did I just get a good night from that handsome secretary? Did he call me just for that silly little thing? I thought he was gonna bother me with this kind of work-night thing, but he didn't. I smiled at a glance considering the behavior of that one secretary, lately he looks acting strange. I don't know what medication he's taking at the moment, but at least I know that he's someone who's fun to talk to.

I looked at my phone screen, saw the call history list tonight. The last list of nicknames, Ken's secretary's name is clearly printed there. I smiled unconsciously reading the writing, that's the ridiculous thing I'm doing right now. I patted my forehead when I realized what was happening. I put my phone on the table, threw myself down and got in the blanket. Without warning I fell asleep until the morning sun began to say hello.

...****************...