Part of me

Fear

What I fear is not to love or be loved but I fear is to lose something meaningful, like he who goes with others because he is not satisfied with me.

I'm afraid, very afraid of losing him forever.

You may know that I don't dare go face them alone but I'm not a coward either.

I dare to fight for something that belongs to me but I really don't want to lose what I have for the umpteenth time.

Enough father to leave no one else or let me go because I don't want to see even feel abandoned again.

Yes again for the umpteenth time I fear and my fear is so deep that the trauma will be lost.

It really stabbed so deep that I was not strong and could not bear the pain.

God knows how many times I've lost, God knows what my story is and what I've felt it's all gone but those memories remain in my mind embedded in my mind that scares me and is so scared that even if I remember them it could be denied that the loss I experienced left me so deeply wounded that it left a deep fear.

I may know many people today, but tomorrow, even a few years later I don't know them because they never told me.

I was careless because of my fear that made me hide far away in the dark with a high and invisible wall where the edge is too dark.

This fear is like a torture to myself because to establish a love and be a lover in me there is a lot of suspicion of jealousy and even I can say never trust someone.

Maybe many say that I am selfish but I try to protect myself, making boundaries with many people is also not the wrong decision to protect myself from danger.

Not 1 or 2 times this happens even nearly dozens of times either hundreds of times occur but they remain indifferent to other business.

They may have never felt the sense of loss because they do not yet know how painful it is to lose and how afraid to be left behind.

If they ever feel lost and abandoned fear they will never want to know each other again.

A lot of things happen when the loss begins and a lot of tragedies of being left to suicide.

Not once or twice something like this happens, nearly tens of thousands of lives were lost simply by abandonment and their loss was willing to hang themselves on a small rope to end this painful and desperate life.

In a rope there is one life if the rope is cut off then one life will float away leaving the surface of the earth, whether being a celestial spirit or an evil ghost has all been doomed ever since he chose to be born in this world.

Life exists because we have chosen to accept and try to live it can or not depending on whether you are worth defending or leaving.

It's all inside you.

^^^...Tangerang, January 20, 2023...^^^

^^^~Skomalasari^^^