Part of me

.

Sometimes I hate the things I like the most.

There was a time when I didn't want anyone to interfere in my business.

There was also a time when I was selfish and wanted everyone to listen to me without comment.

And...

maybe it was a time when I was feeling lonely and just wanted affection instead of compassion.

I am often blamed.

I want to be noticed.

But I was always exiled.

I don't understand how else am I supposed to walk?!

Where am I looking for a foothold?!

Where is the shoulder that can be the back?!

I am tired but I don't want to give up.

I was disappointed but not disappointed.

I know I'm not a perfect human being.

I have a shortage.

I also have advantages.

I don't know what advantages and disadvantages I have.?

It's just...

I am the one who has not been able to accept the fact.

I never thought one way.

I was isolating myself.

I am far from everything.

I'm the only one who wants to go.

Want alone.

I don't want to be a burden to others.

I know loving the one person who has forgotten me is a way to break down the walls of the defense of the heart.

I understand though I do not know how to explain what I feel but it is enough for me to understand the other meaning of being disappointed that I cannot have.

I may be selfish or I may care less about what other people think I only know what I feel and what I want even though I don't really fully understand that it is all I want.

I'm not a love addict but I'm crazy this affection has what rights?

Pretty little heart of mine that understands what I feel let me cry in the depths of my heart I just hope my tears don't drip and become a burden to someone who once sacrificed his time for me.

...There are people who say ''if less can add the dose'' either the dose of love him or the dose of medicine is the most important thing is to understand what will be obtained from the results of adding a dose like if we add a dose in loving someone we will be sensitive to him and do not want him being close to anyone is commonly called overprotective and from there maybe we will learn that he who accepts us will be happy with our treatment like that but if he is not happy then he probably will assume you disturb his peace then wake up and leave because the one who needs you is not just him....

Don't listen to barking dogs, as barking dogs usually see things that the naked eye can't see and their senses are more sensitive to human feelings.

*Do not worry because the knife is sharp but will not hurt if not used, like matches will not emit fire if not picked.

Similarly, love will not exist without a sense, it will not last long if each other prioritizes self-esteem and ego itself.

Relented

It doesn't mean losing

Relented and be patient look at the sincerity of his heart.

If sincere can be considered and if smooth can be used do not forget if toying can be beaten.

Not rude this is just a counterattack, like the laws of nature, cause-and-effect and other names are called karma*.

If only I were allowed to be honest I would miss his affection.

I want to sleep on his side.

I want to stay with him but whatever my day I hold all this feeling so I get used to it if one day I'm overseas and I miss him I'll remember this.

I'm capable!

I can and I have to and I'm used to I know there's nothing good in this but that's the best I have to do.

I don't know which path to choose? Which road will I walk? What kind of road am I going through? But I believe his destiny will never disappoint me, no matter how bad I am, my destiny has been written by him and destiny has been determined.

I don't want to trust anyone anymore because I've been betrayed by friends, relatives or family.

I choose to believe in Him not only is He my creator but he is also a substance that makes me feel the presence of someone who has long abandoned me (father).

Dad I missed you. I often ask God that we may be found. I hope my struggle is not in vain. I know that although not all hopes and not all dreams can be real, but it never hurts to try to learn to understand little by little about this life.

Although reality hurts, it hurts even more when we know that everything we go through is fake. It is more painful than being stabbed by a knife when dealing with an enemy but if the enemy is our own person not only pain from being stabbed but pain from being betrayed will also be felt. And the perceived taste becomes double, many times over.

I try to believe only in the creator may be a solution to respect the feelings of self family alone can betray because of the treasure and the throne even not infrequently there are brothers who fight each other women. If family alone can still betray then there is not much possibility for those people we just know to be betrayed because they have no reason to be loyal to you.

True or not but we are not allowed to trust fully in anything other than the creator.

Failing or succeeding the Creator who determines not me, you or him because if we are destined to fail and rise again it may be your good destiny. Your luck. But if destiny says or God has decided for your failure, your fall, even your destruction then all you accept is that.

So why complain while the destined is in plain sight. Why should we keep reasoning? Why should we keep on denouncing each other? While fate, luck, misfortune, success or failure are already in the record before we step on the ground in front of this boom, before we are taken down, he said, before we become a human being or a baby coming out of the mother's womb.

9 Months we contain how much suffering he feels, how bad we were as a child maybe even until now we have a different side.

Nobody knows anything but God and your mother and if you still have childhood memories is it possible to know what you've done in the past what you've missed? What did you live that time? Are you crying just because your toys are falling or are you even crying when you want to hold something? Oh for example the hand of your father that you want to hold but you do not get it is not only disappointed that felt but not infrequently maybe you cry because of simple things while now you cry because of simpler things again you cry because a man whose heart is not entirely yours and maybe you are just like dust in his eyes and not even in his heart is disappointed when he hears this, disappointed when reading this or when writing this I myself was disappointed because I felt too much like you who did not care about what went through before we could go back together either as friends, he said, couple or just as a substitute.

Although heart