Not Ordinary Love

Secret Dating (2)

Devids

Thank God, I am so grateful to God. Because now my relationship with Airin is getting better. How like a husband and wife couple. Every day there are little things that make me miss him. Airin seemed to be a booster my encouragement at work. Even though the patients I deal with every day are diverse. But I always smile at them giving treatment.

Airin often came to the hospital with Syfa. We had lunch, and we ate three. Syfa's cute and sweet behavior also makes me always laugh.

But something still scares me. Afraid that our happiness will become bland and could end. I still think about my health. Is it true that I am a barren man. Who will not be able to impregnate his wife. Is Airin able to accept my shortcomings.

We have only done it a few times. Every time I wanted to kiss her, my fear of it would disturb my mind. And I immediately stayed away from Airin. But sometimes, I can't resist my desires either. Because I'm also a normal guy and love him. But after doing so I was again haunted by guilt.

Many times I intend to check myself, but again fear haunts me. What if I'm really barren. I'm not ready to accept this fact. I want to be the perfect guy, however. The perfect husband.

like this time, after finishing with my doctor's assignment. I intend to see Doctor Gunawan. Doctor Andrology Specialist who helped me to prove my infertility. But again I was not ready, very long I stood in front of the door of Doctor Gunawan's room before deciding to return to my room.

"Doctor Devid." It turns out that Doctor Gunawan will also just enter his room.

"Eh Doctor Gunawan. I happened to be through here. I think maybe the Doctor is busy." Reasoned.

"Oo no. Coincidentally, there was something I had to ask the lab. Can I help Doc ?" Said Doctor Gunawan.

"Oh no, no Doc. Sorry I have to go back to my room. There's an appointment with the patient in a minute. " I said goodbye and then immediately walked away.

"If you are still curious, it would be better to prove it immediately Doc. The result will be God's rule. The doctor did not ask again. Doctor Gunawan said as I took a few steps. For a moment I fell silent and stopped walking. Yes, Doctor Gunawan is including senior Doctors who have long worked at this hospital. And he also knows the gossip that used to circulate when I divorced my ex-wife. I faced him and looked at him. There's nothing I can say.

"If the Doctor deigns, we'd better talk inside."Doctor Gunawan smiled. My mind calmed down a little, then I followed her into her room.

We also told a long story, maybe more precisely I finally consulted with Doctor Gunawan. Question by question I answered calmly. At least I felt like there was hope that I wasn't barren. What are the characteristics that many doctors mention about the barrenness I do not feel. Overall I am a normal and healthy man. And to be more sure, Doter Gunawan advised me to do the test ******. To know the quality of my sperm. Is the quality of ***** my good normal or may be abnormal.

"When Doctor Devid is ready we'll do the test. Don't get nervous first. God willing, everything will be fine." Doctor Gunawan said before I left his room

"Okay Doc, I'll call the doctor right away when I feel ready. As I said earlier, I hope about this enough we'll know." Me tell him.

"definitely. God willing no one will know."Doctor Gunawan smiled. And I went back to my room.

Today I came home early, because all the work was done. Arriving at home Airin welcomed me warmly. As usual, he served all my needs. It was his attention that made me love him even more. I always want to spoil him. Especially sometimes Airin like deliberately teasing me. He didn't know that I was so tormented withholding this desire. But my fear is also so strong. I don't want my house to fail again. Even though Airin isn't like my ex-wife, I don't want Airin to get hurt because she can't have any more children from me.

I know Airin was disappointed when I tried to avoid him. I could see the disappointment from his face, even though he was smiling to cover up his disappointment. Forgive me, Ai...

"Mas.... " Airin said when we were in bed to rest.

"Mmmm..." My answer.. I deliberately slept on her back to hold back my desire not to touch her. I felt her hands caressing my back and ended up hugging me from behind. I closed my eyes while holding my breath suppressing the desire that was beginning to rise.

"The mad man.. " Tanya Airin. Our position is very close even the breath feels tickling my nape.

"No, why are you angry.." I answered by keeping calm. Meanwhile his fingers were already playing caressing my chest.

"But why is my attitude sometimes cold. Even like avoiding Airin.." Airin. True to my guess, Airin began to feel that I was keeping a distance with him.

"Where it is, your feelings. It's ordinary." My word.

Finally my defense collapsed, not until a second. I immediately returned the treatment. I fucked him, I didn't give him a damn free hand. Airin greeted me warmly. I see her sweet smile flirting. The night ended warm and exciting. I do not know how many times we did it until the dawn of Adhan. Like it has been a long time of thirst then it releases thirst. Airin did not refuse, again and again. In closing, I carried her body to the bathroom. And back we enjoyed it. Then wash to perform dawn prayers.

Finally after the prayer, I felt a very drowsiness. And beniat to sleep.See Airin is neat and will step out of the room. I grabbed her hand and took her back to bed.

"Mas is already noon iiihhh... " Said Airin.

"Not to go out. Just go to bed. " I said and then took her to my arms. Airin tried to let go of my hand that was holding her.

" Well, Mommy will come loo.h.. Syfa nyariin." His word.

"No, it was WA Mother. Tell me not to bother us first. " Answer. Because I was able to send a message to Mother through the green application.

"Yes Allah maass... Shy iihhh... Our Mother will ignore us again. Make adek for Syfa yaa... " Airin.

My reflexes are stiff. Airin's words made me feel guilty again. Oh, my God, does Airin expect a child from me.

"Mas... Mas... When we arrived at them..." Airin realized my change.

"No, it's okay..." I said original, while hiding my face behind a pillow.. But then Airin pulled my hand and forced me to sit down.

"I'm sure there's something to hide. What happened, why won't you talk to me. Until when will I act like this." Airin looked at me with sadness. I could not bear to see him, let alone his glass eyes.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you now. But I promise I'll say it later when I'm ready" I hold him in my arms. I don't want to hurt her more. But I'm not ready to say it either. I hope Airin understands.

My decision is final, I'll do the fertility test. I don't want to be haunted forever with this painful feeling. Whatever the outcome, I will try to be sincere. Whether Airin will survive or choose to walk away from me like my ex-wife used to.

After a few days, I called Doctor Gunawan back. He also supported my decision. I also did all the procedures needed for the test. Until I give my sperm sample for examination. Doctor Gunawan promised that this will not be known by anyone, even medical workers in the Labor Department. And I trust Doctor Gunawan.

That afternoon Doctor Gunawan again contacted me to inform me that the results of the laboratory had come out. This afternoon I'll meet him in his room. Take my task completed. My heart was getting impatient, my heart was beating faster. How is the result of this test. Do I still have hope.

"Good afternoon Doctor Gunawan." My greeting to Doctor Gunawan. When he just entered his room.

I saw him reading some papers. Is that my test result. My feelings suddenly became unpleasant, when I saw the face of Doctor Gunawan who was tangled and confused.

" Oh, late afternoon doctor Devid. Please sit down." Said Doctor Gunawan who just realized my arrival.

I also sat in the guest chair available in the room. Doctor Gunawan sat next to me holding the paper he read earlier.

"How Doc came about.." I ask who is already impatient again want to immediately know the results. Doctor Gunawan's gaze confused me even more. He momentarily took a deep breath. It was like gathering the courage to tell me.

"I'm sorry Doctor Devid. According to the results of the test***** yesterday showed that the quality of ****** you belong to Abnormal and can not fertilize eggs. In other words,, BARREN..."

DUUUUUAAAAARRR......

It felt like being hit by millions of bullets like falling into a very deep abyss. Crushed, crumpled... That's how I feel right now...